It’s a race against time
Catch the collapsing tower
Sunlit eyes look so divine
Out goes the clock, hour and hour
Now rainbows are just make believe
And you cant walk on water
The latest trend is to deceive
Stand together, son and daughter
Call upon a miracle
I can see the light today
Beautifully hysterical
The need to lie and to betray
A clash of indifference
Oh how they point and make fun
Sin and shame off we must rinse
Too many quick judgments, stop, I’m done
But rainbows are just make believe
And you can’t walk on water
The latest trend is to deceive
Stand together, son and daughter
Call upon a miracle
I can see the light today
Beautifully hysterical
The need to lie and to betray
These roads I take, yeah, have decayed now
And I-I cannot breathe
Just let these tears fall, don’t really care how
You can, oh you can leave
I’m not your [first priority]
Another spark to [my anxiety]
And so rainbows are just make believe
And you cant walk on water
2007-02-13 13:58:52 · 7 answers · asked by miseryxlane 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Very good! Tell your friend to enter the contest. Whether or not he/she wins at least others will have the chance to read such a quality piece of work. Yes, by all means!!!
2007-02-13 14:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by JJK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too bad. Not an award winning poem, but not too bad. With some training your friend could become a decent poet!
From the small amount of training I have received, I would say that the poem lacks direction. There doesn't appear to be a central theme to tie all the ideas together.
A VERY good start though. Encourage your "friend" to keep it up.
2007-02-13 22:13:42 · answer #2 · answered by llywarch_dindaethwy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, Gracey. My poem. Jeez, I didn't really think it was that good...Um, thanks people! I agree with the one comment though, I know that it lacks a sense of direction. Most of my poems have that problem o.0 I'll try to work on that. Anyway, as author of the poem, I appreciate all the positive comments!! Thanks people and thanks gracey :]
2007-02-13 22:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by LOSTragedii XX 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
looks like a song to me.. maybe take out the second chorus to make it more poem-like.. but other than that.. amazing..
2007-02-13 22:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOWOWOWOWOWOW! VERY GROOVY! Hope your friend writes more like this. Pure talent! Good luck to her.
2007-02-13 22:04:14 · answer #5 · answered by poemonkey1980 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a poetry fan, but that actually was very good.
2007-02-13 22:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by vivib 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that waz amazing. i'm impressed! your friend should enter this in the contest cuz it DEFINITELY has my vote!
2007-02-13 22:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋