I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/b)...... and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-02-13 13:39:08 · 9 answers · asked by Lisa B 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
ok wow. this is obviously a tough situation. if you really feel that you are a lesbian (and not bisexual) then you need to tell your husband. but make sure you are serious about this. do you really not love your husband romantically? do you really not enjoy sex with him?
bottom line, keep this new lesbian lover out of this decision. one thing at a time.. first, decide whether or not you need to end this marriage..
only then, should you focus on your new life as a lesbian. just because you have had a couple of really good dates with this woman, it doesn't necessarily mean that you and her will make great life partners..
no matter who you live with or who you are married to, you will always be a mother to your two children, so you must always keep that in mind..
if you honestly think that you need to abandon your husband and kids, well, hmmm, guess you better have a good talk with him about all this. make sure that he is ok with being a single father..
in the end, you may end up getting custody of those kids.. and your new lesbian lover will have to be aware of these possibilities..
alternatively, as strange as this may sound, you could tell your husband you are bisexual and want permission to see this woman on the side, while still remaining married to him...
whatever you decide, take lots of time to think things thru. don't rush into any snap decisions that you may end up regretting
2007-02-13 14:57:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jeff 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who knows what it is like to be living as a lesbian in a straight persons outfit. Its not fun, and its not really who you are. If you are gay, then you really should act on it. Its not fair to your husband, who deserves to be with someone he is attracted to and its not fair to you, because you deserve the same thing. Your sons will have to learn to accept this, and in fact, it will probably be beneficial as they will learn at an early age to love and respect gays.
This isn't just an issue that you need to face, you need to make a decision for your entire family as well.
2007-02-13 22:27:34 · answer #2 · answered by Waverly Pascale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you believe what weezy said? here's what i think...
you have two children...who i'm guessing mean the world to you, more than anyone else. don't just leave your husband without telling him what you're going through. tell him the situation you're in. i'm sure it'll hurt him, but more than anything interest him. he'll support you and comfort you. find out if she's really what you want. leaving your marriage is a huge beyond huge step...don't take it lightly. spend time with her, but don't let her pressure you.
if you realize she is the right person and you can't be with your husband any longer, well, i guess divorce comes next. but discuss it with your family...tell your sons how it's all happened...don't leave them out of this big decision because you might regret it later...
i hope this has helped clear your mind a little...i hope you take the right step. on one hand, it's really hard to live with someone you don't love and pretend it's all okay--but on the other hand, we all go through phases where we think we like someone and months later we ask ourselves, "what was i thinking?"
2007-02-13 21:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by mary. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lesbian partners are possessive and sometimes, violent too. This you must know if you are regularly chatting with her. Lesbians have a capability at "brainwashing" straight women into believing they are not happy in their existing relationships - they try to fill any vacuum in your life - financial or otherwise. By challenging your own definition of sexuality, she has earned you as a Slave to her already fantasies. Not at an occasion when you also have children.
I think if you live without lesbian thoughts of or say 3-4 months, you shall rediscover the joy of being straight. Or, if your huband is horny - you can convince him to let your lesbian partner be at your home (if at all she is genuine). Some Men enjoy sex with lesbians (not my type tho).
2007-02-13 21:50:49 · answer #4 · answered by kinsha j 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Leave your husband if the marriage is a sham. But, don't you dare abandon your children. They are your first priority. Whether you have a future with your mistress is of no concern to me, just make sure that your sons know that you love them and that no divorce with their father changes that.
2007-02-13 22:03:19 · answer #5 · answered by castle h 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should leave Him, Before he finds that you are cheating him with this Woman.
about Marry Her good luck on finding a State or Country to do so.
2007-02-13 21:44:13 · answer #6 · answered by tfoley5000 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you took vows. Till death do us part remember? Forsaking all others? Leave this other person alone.
2007-02-13 21:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by Foxy lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if that's how you feel, then yes, leave your husband for her...it's not fair for him to be with you when your heart belongs to somebody else instead of him...
2007-02-13 22:30:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do whatever makes you happy girl
2007-02-14 07:09:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋