I have my husband with 2 sons, but I feel unhappiness because I found I was in fact a lesbian after I lived with my husband for 4 years . To find my true love, I join one great lesbian dating club(http://www.ldate.com/i/b)...... and incredible that I found my soul mate about one month later. She also love me very much. We had a great online chat and I could not wait to have a chat with her face to face. After having a face to face chat with her, she said she could not live without me, she wanted me to marry her asap. I also would like to marry her, but should I desert my husband and two sons? Please tell me how to deal with the problem, I am really in a bad mood and do not know how to do.
2007-02-13 13:38:38 · 25 answers · asked by Lisa B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
cmon now your gonna leave your boys for someone you met on line give me a break you brought them kids into the world and they need you. you better really think this out
2007-02-13 13:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by dee_ann 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
For starters lets ask what started u thinking u were a lez to begin with? Did u wake up and say hey that chick is hott? Now after four years with hubby, did the relationship get a little boring? If so did either one of you address this problem? You have some issues to work out after one month of knowing this women you are in LOVE? or Lust? Go to counseling, work out you personal issues, (cause u dont wake up gay one day). Then work on marriage issues and leave the lesbian thing on the back burner till u are emotionally healthy and can make rational decisions. Please I am bisexual learned this by 13 at 21 had a girlfriend for 3 years while being married to my ex who I left cause of how he treated me we also had no kids. I remarried and my current hubby of 10 yrs has known I am bisexual since the day we met I make the decision to not be with women cause I want him, but he leaves the choice to me. Please help urself
2007-02-13 22:15:09 · answer #2 · answered by Sophi C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off.....I thought that the big think with the Gay and Lesbian groups was that " You are Born this way" it doesn't just happen....so how did you "Just find Out"?
So having said that lets just take the Gay Crap right out of the picture....You are married.....went on-line LOOKING for someone else.....chat on-line.....now you are in love and they want to marry you ASAP. You.....gay or not gay....are a slut. Yes leave them....DO NOT take your sons.....and let your family find a REAL women that they can share there lives with. I would give the same advice to a women with a low life husband who is cheating on-line....which is what you are doing.
And if you REALLY think that someone on-line is worth giving up your family for....then you deserve what you get.
2007-02-13 21:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really have to look at the situation from all angles and decide wether or not your new friend is infact love or just someone that is giving you the attenton you lack from your husband. Is she really worth losing the love and respect of your children? What sort of person is your husband? Maybe talking to husband isn't such a bad idea you can't continue seeing the lady friend and living with your husband, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel?
2007-02-13 21:49:25 · answer #4 · answered by fay ryan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not "find out" you were a lesbian, you knew it all along. You wanted kids and decided to try the husband/wife game hoping your love for one another would convince you otherwise. You saw all this coming, and you knew it. Now you have kids, mission acomplished. Now you will live your life as a lesbian because this is what you wanted: Kids, and a lesbian lover. You shouldn't even be asking this question.
2007-02-13 23:39:31 · answer #5 · answered by B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu would pick some stranger over your own children?
Are you insane? You know, girls are beautiful,, yes I know.. but you loved your husband and had two kids with him, so you arent totally lesbian.
YOu dont even know this chick, and you are throwing around marriage and love (and so is she!)?
My guess is that gal has serious emotional problems that you are considering putting yourself and your babies through?
Any person who wants to jump into marriage so soon after starting a relationship isnt normal.
If your husband is a good man and a good father, you should work on that relationship.
YOu are just bored, trying to find some excitement in your life.
You made your bed, now you have to lie in it until your children are old enough to fend for themselves.
Dont you dare put your babies through that sort of crap.. over some loser chick in desperate need of something!!
Im sorry to be so honest, but I would never compromise my children for anything. No good mother would.
2007-02-13 21:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by Dawn H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation. No one can tell you what to do, because none of us know what your husband and home life are like or what you feel in your heart. All I can say is a loveless marriage is worse than no marriage. You can't shut the door on true love...well, you can, but it will find a way. I wish you best of luck with your situation and hope you find the answer soon!
2007-02-13 21:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the benefit of all parties, go ahead and leave. You wont be doing anybody any favor by staying in an unhappy marriage. Just do not abandon your children for they would be the most affected by this. Best to let them live with theif father for fear that they may get traumatised by your lifestyle.
2007-02-13 21:54:17 · answer #8 · answered by snoringcouchprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you destroy your family for someone you met in one face to face conversation and now she wants to marry you? How do you discover you're a lesbian anyway? Is it really that you're just not happy with your husband? I'm not against homosexuality its just strange to me that you get married and have two children and you are so eager to throw it all away for a woman you literally just met. Why not seek family counseling?
2007-02-13 21:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by Fletcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with the first answerer. If you don't get out of a relationship you don't want to be in, than you might end up resenting your husband and start to fight and that won't be good for yourself, OR YOUR CHILDREN.
Just make sure you are making the right decision and nothing that you are feeling has to do with the "newness". You might want to date her first for awhile, before progressing - that WON"T BE GOOD FOR YOUR CHILDREN. Just take your time, but if you are unhappy with your husband, and feel you are better with a woman, than you need to get out of your current situation. It isn't fair to your husband to stay in the relationship if you aren't going to give yourself to the relationship 100%.
Good Luck
2007-02-13 21:44:09 · answer #10 · answered by Mekayla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow up. You know, sometimes we get married and get a little bored and meet someone else interesting. A smart person doesn't act on this. You just have to get past this, break off contact with this woman and get on with the life you've already built for yourself. Don't do the selfish irresponsible thing! I don't know what else to tell you. You're a grown woman and I know that you know this isn't right otherwise you wouldn't be questioning it.
2007-02-13 21:45:16 · answer #11 · answered by bigclaire 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋