Are men more romantic than women?

Question

I write romance stories in my spare time, and when I first started submitting them, I imagined my readers, if any, would be bored housewives and timid old spinsters. However, 95% of my fans are male, ranging in age from 24 to 55, both married and single, mostly from the US.

Technically the stories are classified as erotica because the sexual relationship is emphasised, but the sex is non-explicit, non-violent, highly idealised, and extremely tender, even poetic. The men consistently ask for the stories to be made even more romantic and gentle, while my few female fans tend to say, "Very beautiful, but could you make a bit dirtier please?"

I'm now wondering if men are really the more romantic gender, and perhaps there is a bigger market for male-oriented romance novels than previously thought?

Answer 1

I am 62 year old male with a lot of experience. Men marry because of the dream of romance. Women dream of romance, but marry for security. A man would be happy to have the girl of his dreams and live out of a car. A woman would be happy to have her dreams and a man to take care of her. Your observation is right on. I understand why you are successful, and I know you will be more successful, in the future..

Answer 2

Hi there :)
I have no experience in writing novels either with men asking me to be more gentle or romantic as you said.
Well I think my answer is not very original one but I do believe that being romantic especially when we are talking about a lecture to read is women domain. But of course I can be wrong.
I based my opinion on my life experience I gather so far. I'm 28 and I think its the time to start call myself expert right ? :)

Anyway your question is making me feel better and pity about myself at the same time. Better cause it gives a hope that the romantic man I'm waiting for is somewhere there and pity because he did not find me so far....
Life has been hard for me especially when we talked about relationship. Well .... there are some romantic men as you claim. Hopefully not all in US :)))

Answer 3

Alright, I'm just going to have to ask you "Edward Cullen!"s--when the hell does Edward do anything romantic? He never really takes his girlfriend out on dates. I'm sorry, *not* kissing your girlfriend doesn't constitute romantic to me. I understand that he didn't want to hurt her, but that's not really romantic so much as pragmatic. Why is willing to kill yourself over your girlfriend romantic? How is obsession? He never really *romances* Bella--in fact, he's quite distant. On those terms, I argue that Edward Cullen isn't romantic. To answer the question...well, it's hard to say. Usually the most famous people in romantic stories, like Heathcliff or Mr. Rochester, Romeo or Mr. Darcy, aren't all that romantic. "Romance" in terms of wooing a girl and really going out of your way to make sure she knows he loves her doesn't happen all that often in literature. I can't recall any classic examples that are always deflecting a man's genuine romantic attention, not mutual conflict. There's a reason I say only "he". Generally, when you say a girl is romantic, it's not that she does romantic things, but she wants guys to be romantic.

Answer 4

Men are stereotyped as being less romantic than women, while young women are more image-conscious than men about sexual relations.
Maybe this results in an oppression of some kind where men and women don't and are not expected to express themselves in certain areas..., hence you dont see FHM(For Her Magazine) for ladies, or romantic novels being OPENLY bought by men. Probably men are less inclined to express themselves emotionally, thus they might have a greater need/desire/
to fufill themselves romantically

Answer 5

Helllllllllll naw! Men are def. not more romantic than women...

I always ask this question to both men and women: When you go into sex shops and book stores (the romatic/sex section), who do you see??? WOMEN! Men could care less about these areas because they feel they don't need improvement.

Women are always hinting or telling their man how to be more romantic about things and it's sad that the luster leaves as soon as the man feels he has 'conquered' his prey, after he either has been dating his woman for a while or he marries her.

Don't get me wrong, there are some romatic men out there... but very few...

Answer 6

Well you have hit the nail on its head , males are prone delude themselves in the make beleive world of romance and sexual glory.

why because we are in nature suitors and females the natural selectors can you afford to be romantic while selecting the best father for your children , sorry i dont think so.

To all those women who have replied women are more romantic than men do you have a little head to think with ??? no only a big head.

Answer 7

To me sex is better when it has meaning, and it has meaning when you're making love, it's more intimate when it's 'romantic and gentle' but not saying I don't like it 'dirtier' too, a bit of both in the same novel would be good.

Answer 8

from my experience no. Men are not romantic but hey...maybe...do you have a sample of your writing on the net or something. Probably coz your books come under erotica or something but still...men are not romantic at least not as much as women although there must be a few exceptions

Answer 9

Men are more romantic than women. Women like it better when men act tough than when they act romantic. So men don't ACT romantic but they ARE romantic. Women ACT romantic but they are very practical at heart.

Answer 10

Good question. But then do you also know how most men are with instruction manuals? Just kidding, keep it up.