Counseling ?

Question

If a couple goes to marriage counseling for reasons that don involve unfaithfulness, if one of them has been unfaithful will it come out in the counseling?

Answer 1

It probably will not unless it is at the root of your problems. Our parish priest once said you shouldn't tell your spouse unless you continue to be unfaithful because it will only hurt them. Besides, you are the one living with the guilt. That is punishment enough for most people. However, if you are continuing to be unfaithful, then it might be good to bring it up in a controlled environment.

Answer 2

Chefbill, - In marriage counseling, it would depend how much both spouses feel comfortable with this medium as well as how well they do or do not communicate in the first place. Obviously it's up to the unfaithful one to come forward is infidelity has taken place.

If you suspect your wife has been unfaithful, and you hope to hear it in such sessions, don't hold your breath. There is nothing that will cause her or force her to "spill the beans" unless she feels comfortable and a chance of problem solving and good communications is taking place and you both want the marriage to work.

If you have been unfaithful, and you don't know what to say or if you should share such information, maybe a 1 on 1 with the counselor would be in order. If you have been unfaithful, obviously you don't want to walk away from the counselor and allow guilt to manifest later which will be a bigger problem on down the road.

Rememebr, many people put to much weight on marriage counselors where the spouses almost expect the M.C. to fix the marriage or have all the answers. The bottom line is that it's up to the Husband and Wife to fix and improve their marriage if this is the goal.

Since you are already in counseling, this would suggest that problems are already affecting the marriage. The two biggest dynamics that afect the health and harmony of a marriage is communication and honesty. These are the two things that all married couples should want to per-fect. Once you have achieved this, compramise is in order and the bricks can be laid to build a strong marriage. However; neither spouse should end the counseling without all the cards being on the table. You both will regret it later, and this time is critical to correcting the flaws that have led you to this forum.

Answer 3

It probably depends on what you both want to achieve and the nature of the problems. If the unfaithfulness is in the background and is causing some problems for the marriage then, yes, it must be opened up and talked through.

Answer 4

Well, counselors are only as good as the information they can pull out of their clients. If counseling is truely being sought to help a marriage that may be heading for trouble, then both partners that really love each other and want the coumseling to work will be honest during the counseling sessions...If you want to hide something, then why bother going...It's a waste of money...

Answer 5

More then likely yes it will. But sometimes a person or spouse will put up a good front and lie too... Usually however the counselor or therapist can sense if the person is not being honest and can read right through it.

Answer 6

This ebook might help you to understand what's wrong in your relationship and It also teaches what to do to try saving your marriage http://savemarriage.toptips.org
It helped me alot!

Answer 7

If they are both serious about the counceling, yes, everything will come out.

Answer 8

Not if the jerk doesn't want it to come out.

Answer 9

your busted huh?