Why do people assume that if you are an unmarried couple your home is unstable? And if you are married your home is stable?
2007-02-13 13:05:07 · 10 answers · asked by Chica Creole 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It must be a regional thing, most people I've come in contact with down here (i.e. the deep south), feel this way, and have no problem expressing it to a complete stranger. ugh...
2007-02-13 13:34:11 · update #1
My feelings on this is that it does not matter if you are married or not.....a "Stable Home" is built by two people who are BOTH committed to there love and stand as one....together.....through good times....and REALLY stand together in the bad times. Having a piece of paper CAN NOT do this alone.....its all about the couple.....THAT is what makes a stable home.
2007-02-13 13:35:25 · answer #1 · answered by oldman 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe that marriage=stable home. I also don't agree with the one who said that two people living together couldn't commit to the marriage license. I have friends that grew up in a house divided. Parents that argued all the time, didn't spend time together, sleep in the same room, where drunks, stayed out all night, had mistress', and so on. (These are things that were from many different friends not just one.) One friend did have some issues but managed to come through better than her baby sister who at least now is on her feet and a good mother to her boys. Another friend never could figure out what a good relationship was and has wandered for years in and out of bad relationships. I got divorced because I realized I was in a verbal & emotional abusive relationship and I did not want my kids growing up seeing that as a marriage or what a relationship should be. Just because we were married didn't make it stable.
So a couple doesn't marry with contract and all that. I know some couples who haven't and are happy, stable, and their kids get a great example of a loving relationship. Nobody harps on the fact that they are not married. In fact most people outside the circle, don't know they are not married "legally". How said to be so closed minded to the couple and to the kids.
2007-02-13 14:19:22 · answer #2 · answered by Margaret K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Common law (not legally married, but living together long term) couples split up far more often then legally married ones. _You_ may not fall into that statistic, but many do. The best data I could find is that of long term 'living together' couples, 40% break up within 5-7 years, 40% get married, only 20% are still 'living together and committed without marriage'. For those that do get married, the divorce rate appears higher then for those who got married right away, even controlling for other factors (i.e. being religious, attititudes towards divorce beforehand, etc.)
So ... that's why they think that.
2007-02-13 16:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The difference between a committed and uncommitted relationship. Let's face it, if a man and a woman will not commit to a formal marriage contract, then how can anyone trust this couple to commit to any contract and keep it for the long term. That's why all governments, most businesses, institutions, and religions are reluctant to invest (time or money) to unmarried couples. Their illegitimate children suffer. And therefore, that's why many married, i.e., committed couples are unwilling to engage socially, economically, and morally with unmarried couples. The instability is the fear that after bonding (with children, family, friends), the uncommitted couple will split leaving the broken bonds for all parties to experience the deep hurt. Surprisingly, no one is surprised at the split of the uncommitted, but are surprised when confronted with divorce.
2007-02-13 13:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I'm not sure where you got your info, but I'd be interested to read it. I have never heard that before, in fact, I've heard quite the contrary. Aside from the legal and moral aspects, what could the difference between people living together married or unmarried, as far as stability goes. It's a strange thing to think about. Please tell us where you heard this????
2007-02-13 13:11:33 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had no idea that this was the general consensus, I've not heard it expressed before. However, I am sure some people think that way but then again their are people who think the world is flat and that no one has gone into space. They just exist and who can explain their views.
2007-02-13 13:23:22 · answer #6 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
my parents are married for 18 years. im 15 but they argued a lot, almost every other days
2007-02-13 13:07:54 · answer #7 · answered by d_doris_b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is not necessarily true because as long as you are happy it is unstable no matter if you are married to the person or not
2007-02-13 13:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by Chantelle G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not. However, it rocks to be from a home where there were two loving parents who loved each other more than they loved their kids. Set a great example. Seriously.
2007-02-13 13:09:07 · answer #9 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
When you are unmarried there is no foundation,but when you are married, you become a team that builds a foundation.I hope this helped!
2007-02-13 13:20:02 · answer #10 · answered by Gin 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋