he has a huge debt from his divorce(he chose to give her everything) now i have never been married and saved all my life(36 yrs) and have about 100k.he asked me awhile ago to pay of his debt and i said no and i thought he was ok with it but things have never been the same.he makes digs like"no one ever helped me out i have to take care of myself" i think it was great of him to give his exwife everything for their son but i should not have to "clean up the mess"so to say.am i wrong?
2007-02-13 12:56:39 · 11 answers · asked by doglovers67 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Honey, don't believe all is said. I've been in lots of relationships. I'm 46 now. What you see is what you get. What comes up now will only worsen with time. Your given a divine chance to save yourself from a world of hurt in the future. It's up to you. It's hard to set limits with someone you care about, break ups too. In this world today you've got to be able to stand on your own before you can be in a serious relationship. Even from my own personal trials, I've found that I've said and done the same thing in mine and then I have pulled the other person down with me. Don't let that happen to you. I never planned it to happen but it has. Many times over. Be careful and pray about it. Just a simple ? to God and then ask for the ability to hear the answer. Then ask for the strength to accept the answer and move which ever direction you choose. Good Luck -- it's your future and you have to guard yourself--even best friends will let you down, WE ARE HUMAN!
2007-02-13 13:09:48 · answer #1 · answered by nannasducky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've each and every actual and could say no. in trouble-free terms an finished fool would pay off some different person's debt. he's searching for a handout and p*ssed off you're in a more beneficial advantageous monetary position yet he had a wedding ceremony that failed and with that comes a cost. God forbid some thing occurs on your upcoming marriage. in case you've been to pay off his money owed and your marriage no longer workout, you'd be broke. BTW....You my pal want a prenup so as that if some thing does take position he can no longer walk away with $50K of that $100K. Now what you need to do to help him is once you both get married your contribution can help him get again on his ft swifter. you would even evaluate paying more beneficial of the expenses so as that he can strengthen funds in route of his money owed. except that he's on his personal because it will be. Get the prenup female friend. continually desire for the most ideal in a wedding ceremony, yet practice for the worst.
2016-12-04 03:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by duperne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right! Right! RIGHT! You are RIGHT! He is so wrong I can't believe you are still talking to him. He is not a fiance, he is an opportunist. Any one truly in love with you would not be selfish enough to ask you to spend all your money on him. That is what he is doing! Extortion is another word that comes to mind! Pay my bills (give me your money) or I might leave you. You now know the real him. Leave and don't look back! I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but you know I am right. I hope you have the courage to drop him, before he really hurts you!.
2007-02-13 13:06:56 · answer #3 · answered by T C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely right to refuse his request, if you are worried about his behavior, then maybe a prenuptial should be considered. Just a scenario, if your marriage doesn't work out and you did bail him out, then what?? You should open another account and sock away the majority of you money there and should decide in the future to get a joint account, you will still have your nest egg...
2007-02-13 13:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IMHO< you will be making an enormous mistake marrying this guy! Don't you see that you are not compatible at all with this turkey? He is no where near your level of living - he will drag you down and make you miserable! Get out now while you can! You are wasting your time! He is no kind of man - definitely NOT the man for you!
2007-02-13 13:02:41 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No- he needs to regro his dangler and get into action. He should really consider a bankruptcy to clear his name and then just start from scratch again. I had a friend who did that- when they got married a 2nd time to a divorced woman- both have teenage kids and it's obviously a complex relationship- but they make it work.
Try using as much positive encouragement as possible and avoid flat out refusing without a decent reason. For example say- I sympathise with your situation but I want you to understand this money is very important to me and I intend to save as much as possible for our future or something along those lines.
Use 'I' language and communicate your feelings and perspective as clearly and non-provocatively as possible- and all will be fine hun!
2007-02-13 13:03:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sir S 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's your money, you earned it. Until you get married, it's not his. Once you get married, half of that money becomes his to do with what he wants. You need to think about why you are engaged to a man that expects you to clean up his financial mess and who ridicules you for not cleaning up his mess?
Do you really want this guy in your life and do you really want him to get access to that money after you marry him?
2007-02-13 13:00:13 · answer #7 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
MY THING IS HE SHOULD HAVE CLEARED ALL OF THAT UP BEFORE TRYING TO START A NEW WITH YOU. BESIDES WHAT KIND OF MAN ASKS A WOMAN TO CLEAR UP SOMETHING THAT WAS IN HIS PAST? IT'S HIS DEBT AND HE SHOULD GET IT UNDER CONTROL B4 YOU ALL JUMP THE BROOM.
2007-02-13 13:01:04 · answer #8 · answered by nattabomb 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just dump him all he wants is your money I mean or he would save him self some money or if he doesn't, he should get a job
2007-02-13 13:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
girlfrien...KEEP YOUR MONEY!!! INFACT HIDE IT!! i am recently re married the first one knew i had $$$ i was smarter the 2nd time around... i kept my mouth SHUT!!! he loves me for me... not my $$$ and when i die, hell know he had someting. hes a hard worker,,, but so am i. i keep all my 401k in my name all my stocks in my name and all my bonus checks in my name... i hide it in my kids bank accounts.. i dont have to pay taxes on it that way (LIMIT$) get smart girl... keep your stuff!!! you earned it!!!
2007-02-13 13:05:47 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋