Needing to Self-Soothe or Is it the Pacifier?

Question

My daughter Emma is 5 months old. She ONLY uses the pacifier at naps and bedtime. It seems like I need to stop the pacifier completely, since it is the only reason she either stays awake or wakes up...because it fell out! But now my husband and I are noticing that she will cry even with it in. It seems like she is just having a hard time putting herself back to sleep.
She goes down great for naps, usually for 2-3 hrs. And goes right to sleep at bedtime too (6:00). She wakes up though every few hours. I know she is not hungry, since she is on rice cereal and jar food, plus nuring. It is just that she needs help going back to sleep. My gut tells me she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own, but I have been reading so much about this causing a trust issue with the baby, and maybe other damage? I know I cried it out as a baby, and it happens all the time. I just need some advice..I feel like it is the right thing, but I am still not sure 100%.
Thanks so much!

Answer 1

My baby has only taken the pacifier at nap and bedtime, as well. (If she falls, since she's pulling up, I'll pick her up and let her suck on it, though). She's 7 1/2 months old now. She's been sleeping on her own since 4 months with minimal crying. I'll tell you that each baby is different, and you need to trust your gut. My Katie has never had an issue with the pacifier falling out. When she FIRST started "putting herself" to sleep, she would cry for 40 minutes. That happened two nights only. If you're certain there are no other issues (wet diaper, hungry, too hot/cold), you could try to let her cry it out. Cry it out is not what most people think it is. It doesn't mean letting your baby cry for long periods. What it does mean is going in every 5-10 minutes (I do 3-5, since my baby will work herself up too much), and soothing her without picking her up (rubbing her back, shushing her, etc.). IF this doesn't work within a few days (3-5), she may be incapable of self-soothing yet. Some babies don't develop this ability until six months. I tried with Katie at three months and knew right away it wouldn't work then. At four months, it did.

It's HARD the first night. If you want to give it a whirl, go for it. If it does work, in the future, you'll be able to distinguish between her "protest" cries and something being truly wrong, which is a great tool. There are times when I go in and pick Katie up right away because I know there's an issue beyond not wanting to go to sleep.

If you decide to let her self-soothe, please remember she will need something to eat after about 8-10 hours. Katie sleeps from 7-7 (more or less), but wakes up at 430/500 for a bottle. If she's a long sleeper, she still will need SOMETHING to eat.

Answer 2

With my son, I started phasing out the pacifier at 4 months because I got tired of getting up in the night to put the paci back in his mouth. He was sleeping through the night at 2 months. He was completely off the paci at 6 months. I let him cry to sleep. It didnt do any damage to him. He hugs me and kisses me all the time and he just turned a year. He knows he's loved. As long as she is getting plenty of love during the day, I think that a child sleeps better without a paci. Her bedtime does seem pretty early, maybe change her schedule a little so she can go to bed at 8 or 8:30. Do what works for you though. The sooner they are off the paci the better, less struggle later on. Trust your instinct, mommy knows best!!!

Answer 3

My daughter was still nursing during the night at 5 months. She really didn't sleep through the night until she was around 6 or 7 months old. Of course our daughter also slept with us until she was 2 and 1/2. We have since moved her into a toddler bed in her sisters room. She goes to bed at 8:30 and we don't hear from her again until 6:30 the next morning. In the first 12 months you certainly can't spoil your daughter, so do what you think would make her happy when she is upset. My daughter also still has her pacifier, but only for bed. She has learned how to put herself back to sleep when it falls out. At 5 months old, your daughter can't locate it and put it back herself, that may be one thing that is upsetting her. I personally didn't leave either of my girls to cry it out, just not my thing. I do have friends that have done that, and their kids are just as normal and well adjusted as mine are. It is a very individual decision.