Can someone please guide me how to handle this peculiar situation? Iwant to help but don't know how.?

Question

I am a teacher dealing with boys and girls in the age group 14-18, when they have sex-related anxieties, which they sometimes confide to me.

Over the last year a boy of about 16 has become very uncommunicative, quiet and aloof, and spends a lot of his time alone. He hates his parents who "thrash" him. His mother revealed he often wears his sister's underclothes, and even her own, which upsets her and his father no end. He's a little effeminate, but not very.

One day, quite red-eyed, he, on his own, confessed to me his trouble. He's long harboured a secret desire to be a girl. He pretends he's a girl all the time, and has even assumed a girl's name. He says he's not attracted to boys, but just feels more comfortable thinking of himself as a girl. The desire to change his sex has been tormenting him for a long time, and he's become desperate. He reads a lot on the net on sex change.

He's silently craving for help to cope with his situation. Pl guide me with a plan of action.

Answer 1

there must be someone at the school who is trained to deal with this type of situation. as a classroom teacher, your job is to teach. you are not a counselor. i am not saying don't help. i am saying lead this boy to the proper guidance. you aren't trained to do that.

Answer 2

First of all, does this boy have a support group, besides you? That is a very important thing to have. When my son came out to me, he was terrified that I "would not love him anymore". ( but he is gay, not transgendered) When I told him that I'd already had my own idea what was going on with him since he was very small and that nothing could ever make me NOT love him, I was surprised to find out how much research he had already done on his own in preparation for the possibility of being disowned (he too was 16 at that time) we talked many times and for a long while about the difficulties he would face, but the most important thing was and always is for this boy (girl) true to herself. Honesty IS always the best policy with those close to her, but there is something to be said about NOT running aroung shouting your intimate feelings at everyone you meet. Not that there's is any shame in being who you are, but trying to prove that by shouting it from the rooftops gets you nowhere either... Most regular heterosexual people don't flaunt themselves on a regular basis unless they are pretty insecure.... but I digress...
Everyone questions their identity sometimes, and this is a biggie, the larger support group she has, the better able she will be to get out many of those emotions and fears that can block her off from the people that love her the most. Good luck to her! And God Bless you both

Answer 3

I am in no way an expert in this situation. However I reside in Seattle Washington on capital Hill where there are alot of transgender and other sexual minoritys. I volunteer at a youth drop in center that serves alot of the same.
First of all keep doing what you are doing and listen!
Sometimes all these kids want is someone who will finally really listen without making judgements either way.
Ask him what he feels he needs. A young man once told me he had a few ideas but was afraid to try them because no one asked him what they where.

Answer 4

This question seems beyond the scope of Yahoo Answers. Try Dear Abby or Ask Ann Landers. Seriously, you should direct the boy to counseling, whether via the school district or the public health office, so that he can ascertain his true feelings.

Answer 5

The boy has hormonal problems. His testosterone level needs to be checked. Or he might have suffered a situation in which he was rejected just because he was not a girl. Your duty is to talk with him for prolonged hours in many shifts. You will get an insight. Never criticise him, nor disagree with him but always ask questions, one leading to another. He has hidden side of his mind which needs to be visible to both of you or at least to him. All problems have solutions ingrained in them. Be patient.

Answer 6

There are organizations and therapists that deal with both trans-gender issues and/or body dysmorphic disorders. I strongly suggest counseling by someone experienced in these areas as there exist concerns about associated possible suicidal ideation that tend to go along with the symptoms mentioned.

Answer 7

well I am in dilemma.what should I suggest to you.As far as I am concerned you had better to go his home and meet his parents and try to convince them.say them this is not their child's fault.it is natural thing.Have patience and cunsult a specialist doctor who can solve this peculiar problem.I think sex change is the only soluation.that's it.Hope u found the soluation.

Answer 8

i'd have informed him i become coming down with a chilly so I wasn't shaking palms. I hate shaking palms besides and many times use that excuse, somewhat in church. i do not recognize the position their palms were!

Answer 9

That's a good question for that I'll advise you to speak to his parents and try to convience them as well for the sex change .I know people who undergone through sex change and trust me they are very happy now.Teacher is one's best friend.....now you should try to make his life better....Sex cahnge would be the best gift one can ever give him.

Answer 10

he really needs some councelling. it is important to understand why he feels good to be girl and wheather he came across any circumstances where he felt boys are bad? 4 or 5 sittings with psychotherapist can do wonders.