They always fight and my mom has been talking to a guy online. My dad sides with my brother and my mom with my sister. My sister constantly says she hates my dad and mom does nothing about it. Everything my mom says/does is negative to my dad. It has to do with money being held by my dad and control, a big word in this house. My mom has stomach problems and she is always moody. My sister is 16, im 20 and my brother is 14. My mom is a stay at home mom but is also a president at an animal shelter. Sometimes it seems like she cares more about the animals than she does the family, except for my sister. If my sister needs to go anywhere or do anything its almost an instant as long as she asks mom. At night if I come out to get something to eat(my mom sleeps in the living room(as do my brother/sister) then she will yell at me like its in the daytime even though people are sleeping. I want the best for my family but I dont know what to do. Where do I start? What can i do? Thanks!
2007-02-13 12:18:53 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The reality of the situation is that sometimes we are involved in events which are not our fault and there is nothing we can do about it.
If you want to take the most optimistic point of view, you can change how every member of the family treats each other by talking to each one alone. This will be hardest for you with your father and brother. You would need to determine how you can improve each of the relationships, including mother-sister and father-brother.
Families which have good caring relationships can easily be fixed. Families which have years of bad habits are seldom changed without professional help.
For the most pessimistic point of view: jump ship, get out of Dodge, join the circus (and do this just as fast as you can). If you cannot change what is happening, at least you can decide not to be a part of it. If you do this, leave first and then let them know WHY you thought it was necessary.
Good communication is needed. You can either learn it and teach it or not. At the very least, you probably have seen some good examples of what not to do when you form a family of your own.
2007-02-17 10:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Richard 7 · 14⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with trying to help our families. But if you have tried many different things, and you have failed, they probably don't want to change or get help. You seem smart enough, and old enough to get out of this mess before it is to late for you. Why don't you go out on your own. Become a roommate with a friend, or relative. Your family needs space from each other, for things are going out of control. Mom and Dad need counseling right away. Parents should never put the child into the argument. Children should not take sides in a fight, unless it is life threatening. Your parents seem to dislike each-other, and it is amazing they are together still. They probably have some love left in them for each-other. I just hope they can work it out. I think your parents no longer see you as a child, and they know you could leave if you really wanted to. Maybe Mom is jealous of your freedom, which she has little of right now. Especially if Dad is a Money controller. Just be patient with your family, and continue to show love for them. When people are hurting or angry, they tend to act opposite of what is normal for them. Thus causing more frustration for the others around them.
Talk to your siblings about their behavior. Let them know they need to act alot better, and stop causing Mom, and Dad to fight over them. Let them be peaceable to both parents, this is for the benefit of all. Look for a job, if finances is a problem, and maybe give some money to Mom for her household spending. This way she can see you care for her, and for the others. She may treat you much better then. Or go with her to the animal shelter, and see what she does there. Maybe help her some time. She probably finds peace there, and that is why she likes it so much.
2007-02-13 12:43:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are unhappy and have problems. You know that alreay though. You should of figured out already that your father is controlling and probly does not like his job and fusses there. The net and the dogs are your mothers escape. It is easier for her to just agree with your sister. For you just realize what is going on and that you want to break the cycle. Move on and start your own family realizing that you and your husband need to be happy and rais the children together. If your brother and sister need some help then help but let them know what you think. On occasions speak to your mother and father but do not try to shove down thier throats that what they are doing is wrong. It took time to get this way. Just give some simple suggestions along the way of what they might do to make things better.
2007-02-13 12:41:08 · answer #3 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very difficult to control emotions - and I don't think we should always control them. I think emotions are good! There are some situations where it is important to feel in control, and I understand this. I think it helps greatly to be able to express how you feel in a safe situation - then it is easier to keep cool when you want to. Getting rid of negative emotions and doubt - well, again I think it helps to talk about it. I'd also recommend that you try some "affirmations" - which have been scientifically proven to work. Write three positive sentences about yourslef. Phrase them in the present tense. (The best known is: "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better!") For example you could say: "I believe in myself" Say these three affirmations at least three times a day for ten days - this will help to gradually re-programme the negative emotions with positive ones. If it helps, having read your Yahoo profile - I believe in you!
2016-05-24 07:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant do anything about it, its called dysfunctional family....just wait til u are 18 and move out , have ur own life...and dont get married until ur emotional baggage are gone because u will end up having that same kind of relationship....its a problem with us kids esp when we are so young and idealistic, we think we can repair anything...the truth is, u can only change urself, u cant change anyone in your family....but you can change ur own perspective in life...be positive and be realistic, i think that s the only thing u can do....u cant change how ur dad feels towards ur mom and vice versa.....
2007-02-13 12:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like the entire family needs to get some counseling
if you go to college ask to see a counselor there & ask them if they could recommened someone for you to talk to about this, tell them it's stressing you out !
OR if you go to church/temple talk to the preist/rabbi
good luck & so sorry to hear about this
2007-02-13 12:23:24 · answer #6 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pray to God(Jesus)He will step in and take charge;you will not have to worry if you bring Him in the house.
2007-02-13 12:22:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
stay out of it
2007-02-13 12:22:32 · answer #8 · answered by Btieti 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋