They covertly harrass you untill you stand up to them and then they tell you that you have a problem. They want to bully until you show them they can't bully you and then somehow your wrong for standing up to them. You don't even have to have a temper or anything. They will say something like "Whats your problem" when they already know
2007-02-13 12:18:30 · 9 answers · asked by java348 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yep, I know one of those people. Yes, you are right, it is not *your* problem! It gets even worse - they might harrass you even after you stand up to them.
2007-02-13 12:26:28 · answer #1 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
These kinds of people refuse to be accountable for their actions and find humor in "getting others goats". This is the best way to handle these kinds of people when you encounter them, if avoidance is totally unavoidable.
Once they start in on you, be quiet. Just sit there and listen. Let them rant and rave, polk you with a stick and blabber away. Let them get it out of there system. If they pose a question to you in which a response is unavoidable, answer it. This is where they will more then likely come at you with nasty retorts. Once this is done, look at them and say, "Is this going to end up like all of our other conversations? If so, we don't even need to be having this conversation." If they get defensive, which you know they will, say "See? This is exactly what I am talking about." You may want to at this point ask them why it is that they feel it necessary to constantly harrass you concerning issues all the time. Just see what they say? Who knows, maybe they won't care. Maybe it will open their eyes a bit. You won't know unless you try.
Unfortunately, there are always going to be people out there that behave in this way. We just have to get creative in our responses to these jerks, and in how we feed into their behaviors. Sorry this is happening to you, it's time to take back control. Good luck!
2007-02-13 12:55:16 · answer #2 · answered by frigidx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup these are what I call TOXIC PEOPLE... and believe me I have seen plenty of them... they are subtle manipulators... they are "nice" people who seem to think that they can blame you whenever anything goes wrong... and they do it in a way that makes you doubt yourself... not good... basically they are insecure and they pick on you because they think that you value the relationship more than you value the way you are treated. Let me tell you that the only way that you can change this type of relationship is to cut that person out of your life as much as possible... they are parasites on your emotional health and confuse you so much that you don't know which way is up... then you doubt whether you are a nice person or if you actually are causing issues. These types of people will not admit that they are in the wrong... so its pointless trying to make them apologise or anything like that... We all deserve to be treated with respect, love and to be understood and not abused... so do yourself a huge favor and don't let that person ruin your life, and be aware of the signs in other relationships... coz there are more out there than you think...
I know the most difficult thing about this type of person is that often other people will not believe that ,that person is doing that deliberately... coz they are so great in other aspects of their lives and with other people... so don't worry what other people think... do whats best for you!
2007-02-13 20:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by tarzanatvw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have known a lot of people like you describe.They are toxic and pray on people who are soft-hearted . I had a so called friend like that.She was bossy and always telling me what to do.I finally told her off one day on the phone.She came to my house crying and made me feel like it was my fault that we had a disagreement but ,I stood my ground and told her to stop acting like my mother . I think people like that are very insecure and feel better about themselves when they think they are in charge .When you finally confront them they say"what's your problem ?" You sound like you might be young, stand up for yourself and remember ...you don't need people like that in your life..real friends are kind and thoughtful, they don't make you feel bad about yourself,that's abuse!
2007-02-13 12:52:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have met those people and if I had a mirror in my hand at the time, I would have handed it to them, and encouraged them to speak to the image in the mirror first, and then if you have any further questions, I might liston. have a nice day.
2007-02-13 12:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Holy Cow! When did you meet my brother? I take it you didn't like him that much huh? He is such a butt!
He does that to me every time I see him. And my mom just rolls her eyes and looks the other way. The bad thing is, he does it to her too!
He is a joker too!He likes to play tricks on us. So when he called us on April Fool's to let us know his daughter was born, we hung up on him. We didn't believe him. He called us about 5 times before we actually believed him!
Each time he called back, he was like, "What's your problem, you don't believe me?"
ARRRRGH-----he makes me mad!
2007-02-13 13:50:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. They are manipulative, power-hungry psychos. They are intellectually based with not one shred of compassion or empathy.
Avoid them. Don't let them bait you. Do not hang with them. They are unhealthy.
2007-02-13 12:28:01 · answer #7 · answered by Boomer Wisdom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i answer "yes", what is my/his/her diagnosis?
2007-02-13 12:26:44 · answer #8 · answered by adamizer 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who are you and how do you know my family? *LOL*
2007-02-13 12:26:44 · answer #9 · answered by just common sense 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋