How do other moms do it? Single mom starting over after failed relationship...?

Question

I guess this question could be answered by those who are going through or have already gone through a divorce as well, but the part that doesn't pertain to me is we weren't married therefore I'm not "entitled" to anything (house, alimony, etc). I am a stay-at-home mom (can't afford daycare, even w/child support) & had to move back in w/my parents because I'm not working & therefore can't afford a place right now. I don't qualify for state aid either, since my "assets" (my car) are worth slightly more than the state allows, but if I sell my car, I'll have no transportation to med appts, grocery shopping, future job, etc (we live out in the sticks so there's no public transportation here). Where should I begin to get back on my feet & become self-sufficient once again??

I guess this question could be answered by those who are going through or have already gone through a divorce as well, but the part that doesn't pertain to me is we weren't married (we were engaged but it didn't work out) therefore I'm not "entitled" to anything (house, alimony, etc). I am a stay-at-home mom (can't afford daycare, even w/child support) & had to move back in w/my parents because I'm not working & therefore can't afford a place right now. I don't qualify for state aid either, since my "assets" (my car) are worth slightly more than the state allows, but if I sell my car, I'll have no transportation to med appts, grocery shopping, future job, etc (we live out in the sticks so there's no public transportation here). Where should I begin to get back on my feet & become self-sufficient once again??

Answer 1

the first thing you need to do is put yourself first...
take stock of what it is you want for your and your childrens future...
get your independence back...while your staying with your parents...see about maybe taking some classes..give yourself some options...
What do you want to do? what are you interested in?
go from there...
as long as you are ok with yourself..and happy...your kids will be happy too...
lifes full of bumps in the road..but dont let them stop you...
pick yourself up...look at what you have to offer....dont go "looking" for a man...when its time he will find you...for now put your energy into yourself and your future...
it really can be exciting...think of it as unchartered territory..the possibilties are endless.....
Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

I was a single mom for many years with two children. They are 20 and 17 now. Both graduated from High School and doing just fine. But I was worried because i was a very young single mom and I worked two jobs to pay the rent and bills. When they were small I worked at a daycare because I recieved a big discount for thier child care and I could at least see them throughout the day. Later on when they started school I worked variouse jobs but finally realzed there was only so many hours in the day and working for an hourly wage was not going to cut it. I started my own buss. cleaning houses....it was good money a flex schdule. Have it put in your papers that the ex is respnsible to keep the child on health ins so you don't have to worry about that. It seems a little overwhelming right now, but you'll be fine. I did it with two and I had no child support for years...........

Answer 3

I understand what you are going through.I lived with my parents when I separated with my husband, and beleive me it was hard. unlike yourself there was no child support, but I did get state aide. There are programs in every state to help ppl who make just a little over the limit of state aide, you will have to do your homework, and network. If it is necessary work two jobs tor vocational school for a few months to get a better paying job to get yourself to the point where you are self reliant.Thank goodness you have someone to lean on in your time of need as your parents. You must be strong and never give up. It is hard and can be tiring ,but you can rebuild your life for yourself and your kids. They depend on U

Answer 4

You are lucky you get some relief from your parents, given all the bad circumstances.

The definition of getting back on your feet means you have earning power. So first is what skills do you have? Some people just find whatever work available, that is fine. Some may decide to go back to school and get a better education with government help.

Earning money gives u confidence about yourself

Answer 5

I hate to make an example of you, but I hope that other women will read your question and learn a lesson. That lesson being that THIS is what happens when you meet a man, sleep with a man, and get pregnant with that man's child without getting married first! You are in a ROTTEN situation because beyond child support, this guy owes you absolutely NOTHING! Now you're just another single mother trying to raise a kid on her own that doesn't sound as if she can even take care of herself! My advice for now, is to live with your parents as long as you can so that your child will have at least a couple of positive role models in his'her life. In the mean time I would forget about dating other men and instead focus on going back to school or getting a decent job so that you can start taking care of yourself and your child. Hopefully in a few years you'll be able to afford to move out, and your child won't mind spending a couple of hours with friends after school until mommy comes to pick her up after work.

Answer 6

How about talking with your parents and asking them to take over the title of your car, though you still pay all the bills and everything else it's just under their name. That way you can qualify for state aide. If the state asks why you sold your car tell them that you had back rent to pay back to your parents. I am in the same situation as you, and I know it is very difficult. Good luck!!!