How do I make friends?

Question

I find it difficult to make friends; I'm going through a rough spot so want to spend as much time with others as possible.

I had what could be called a 'problem childhood' making it difficult for me to talk to people, I also don't get along with other women which means men only, which can be problematic at first. I'm told I can be intimidating & worry about what people think of me, but once you get to know me I'm an amazing person.

All current friends sprung from my last job – all very good friends, but with busy lives; partners, kids, mortgages. School friends I no longer talk to & ex-partners friends become ex-friends, you know how that works.

It's not just the HOW to make friends in terms of finding people with shared interests/humour/etc, how to talk to people & get to the point of being friends, but the WHERE as I can't just go to a pub alone to start talking to people, other than work there is no where else to meet new people.

I'm told people find me intimidating because I am not what people expect; I think they expect a conventional 'girly-girl' or an 'ice queen', where as I am a stronger personality than people expect and not everyone can get their head around that.

Answer 1

I understand what your saying sometimes it's hard when you think you don't know how too.Your making the first steps on being on the internet and sharing your problems with us, carry on doind what your doing and you should be loaded with people wanting to know you.

Answer 2

If you mean 'real friends' and haven't got anyone to actually go to the pub/club with and the local pub looks like its inhabitants like to chew the heads off rabid foxes then just have a drink or two but dont get shitfaced and go to a club where you can dance to the music you like.Always easy to meet on dancefloor, friends and someone to pay for the taxi.
Cyber friends are cheaper though but you dont get out and enjoy reality as much.

Answer 3

I had that trouble recently also. After leaving elementary and going into junior high (i'm a 10th grader now), i had a hard time making friends and as a result, i had trouble defining who was a friend and who was an acquaintance or best friend. Well, just talk to somebody with something in common and do the polite routine:hi, how're you doing. Ask how their day or week was or something like that. Make replies to their replies and find something interesting to talk about:movies, music, any interests and build on that. talk about random things-they can be pretty funny or just make witty observations. Just keep doing that over and over every day and when the person begins to want to be around you and you can relax and be yourself around them, you know you have a friend. As to the where part, obviously, just make friends with people at work or if you go to a church, that's a good place. or you could ask that certain person to hang out with you someplace.

Answer 4

If you want to find people with your interests - find them
They are all usually at a club of some sort
I'm sure there's alot going on in your area
Go for something that shows your outgoing personality like Judo or Kick boxing
Club members talk to other club members - especially if they are new! GO SHINE!

Answer 5

people are usually only nice if they think they can identify with you, so just start identifying w/ others and you'll be fine. But when you say that your intimidating, either 1 ur all up in there face, or 2 they think that you act like you are above them. Just watch your body-language and don't force yourself upon others

Answer 6

Night classes are a good way to meet people. There are lots of courses now adays, you should be able to pick one that would interest you.

Answer 7

Well I'm opened minded, check out my 360 yahoo
I'm a good listener if you wanna talk,
No strings its up to you!!!

Best wishes

Answer 8

first you can talk to some one you know and ask "Do you want to be my friend?"

Answer 9

email me if you wanna chat, see if we have anything in common... i'll get back to you :D