How do I approach my father?

Question

I've had a rocky relationship with my father. We differ greatly on politics and yet I am open minded and respect other points of view.
I enjoy opposite ideas, how else do you grow and learn acceptance and wisdom?
We fought last winter and he's written me off, telling me that I've been no good since I was 12yrs old!
I understand that things are said in the heat of the moment that we don't really mean. However I think I know my father well enough to know, that it is always up to me to reconcile and tread the turbulent waters.
I've been crushed so many times and yet who hasn't?
My heart aches for my children, as they have now seen an indepth look, at the less than attractive side of their grandfather.
Kidz are extremely resilient though and my father has had very little to do with them. That doesn't mean he doesn't care, he just never see's them unless I bring them to him.
I hurt because I know he'll never know me and he's missing out on two amazing kids, his grandkids

Answer 1

As tiring as I'm sure it is, you should approach him. See if you can sit down as adults and talk things out. Don't discuss what you fought about initially, it'll just open old wounds, but tell him how you feel. It's the best you can do. Be honest, but don't accuse him. Say whatever you want to now, while you have the chance. My father died when I was a teenager so I sympathize with the feeling that your children are missing out on their grandfather. So, say it now, while everyone is still alive and well enough to hear it. And if, in the end, he isn't willing to put aside his grudges for the sake of the children, maybe it's best to leave it that way rather than risk the children being hurt by his negativity toward you or them.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Your father needs to realize that as a 12 year old child, you were going through puberty and that is when you needed him to be understanding. It sounds like your father is the spoiled, insecure person. Let him know that he is the one missing out on things because he can't forget the past. Lay some questions on him. If you were so bad, why didn't he show you more love? Why would he give up on his own flesh and blood? What kind of parent treats their children so disrespectful?

Answer 3

,Take him a peace offering. Start the relationship over You know how he is so give him what he wants.Play along with him for the sake of getting along and the kids Life is short.don't waste it over little things. You children will either benefit from it or pay the price because of it. Much luck to you.

Answer 4

It is the hardest thing in the world to do, believe me, I know first hand, but if you love your kids, keep him out of their life.
You may choose to let him treat you anyway he wants, but do you want that for your children? You say you've "been crushed so many times, but who hasn't?" Let me tell you something I'm sure you already know: parents are not supposed to do that to their children! Go crawling back if you want to, but just so you know, as long as you do, you are enabling your father to treat you like crap. You are saying it's ok and it isn't, at least it wasn't when it was my family.

Answer 5

i dont no!!!