Don't ask for details. Let's treat it like a hypothetical question. What are the advantages and disadvantages to taking someone back under these circumstances?
2007-02-13 11:41:18 · 26 answers · asked by ah_relaxing 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a question that does not have a definate answer to it. The disadvantages or advantages can only be based off of your relationship with this woman, meaning before/after/during this ordeal. That being said I wish you the best of luck, as I am currently going through this myself. After four years together my wife and I broke up because she felt she never gave her baby's father a full chance, and she still felt that she had feelings for him. With a full month with him now behind her the story has changed each week and now she has finally hit the truth. We were having problems and she bailed ship towards the first available person that she could trust. Now I find myself asking myself the same question you are, should I take her back? The answer always seems to be yes, but with rules, however can you really live with rules set in place to help you trust someone? Can you kiss them, hold them, touch them in any intimate way without thinking that someone else has done the same recently? I still don't know, this is one of those things in life that seems to need to be taken slowly and day by day. She was selfish in what she did to you, so now you need to be selfish with your feelings, take your own pace. See what you want to happen, since she did what she wanted to without regards to your feelings about it. Then go from there, and again, good luck. Taking someone back after this is the road less traveled, but sometimes that leads us to the best rewards in life.
2007-02-13 13:16:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
part of us always wants to take them back and resume the life we had, or thought we had. but in reality would we be willing to treat that relationship like we would have had they not had the affair? would we really be able to forgive it or would we punish the person forever. depends on the circumstances, and how she left u. the advantages would be that maybe u can work this out and there will be Happy ending, but the disadvantages are what if u took them back, invested in them, and than they did it again to u, would hurt u all over again just like the first time they left u. personally no matter how much i loved them, i don't think i could ever get past the point that they did leave, and did choose someone else over u.
2007-02-13 20:30:36 · answer #2 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in a similar situation but we had split up first but had been working on getting back together when he spent a romantic weekend w/ another woman and slept w/her. I loved him so much and wanted to make it work but I had no idea how to. We are now married and have a beautiful baby girl. We are happier than we've ever been. We had to struggle to make it here and forgive eachother a whole lot! But you need to decide if want to fight for the relationship or not and not fight w/ eachother. There are still things that remind me of what happened but I always push through it. You can to if you really try and you know that you want this person back. Good luck!!!
2007-02-13 19:51:50 · answer #3 · answered by Jaden 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i was a guy I would not take her back. Once a cheater always a cheater. No matter how much they plead with you it will bound to happen again. I mean if it did not work the first time what makes you think its going to work again. They say people can change I don't think so there is always the subconscious. It is very tempting. I know it hurts but trust me there is always better out there. That is faithful and is worth yoru time. like me lol.
2007-02-13 20:10:41 · answer #4 · answered by shyhonney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, having once been the women who left my man for someone else then came back, I would have to say no. By taking her back you are showing her that she can always come back to you if things with other people don't work out. You basically become her back up plan. It will show her that you have respect for yourself when you say no and that will make her realize that she missed out on a good thing.
2007-02-13 20:01:15 · answer #5 · answered by natasha_randle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I can't think of one good reason to take someone back after they've left you for someone else. Obviously this person has no sense of commitment or loyalty and did not truly love you to begin with or she wouldn't have left. What's to stop her from walking out the door again, especially if she knows she can always come home.
2007-02-13 19:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by QT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldn't. Trust is a big issue for me and once it is gone that would be the end of it for me. I dont think there are advantages. you would constantly query whether it was happening again, this to me is not healthy. I would get on with my life. I would not be blaming myself. The only person who knows why they cheated is your partner. There may not be a reason that you are comfortable with so i would try to move on without the toxic person in my life. If children are involved i would stay civil for them but that is the only contact i would be having.
hth
2007-02-13 19:51:40 · answer #7 · answered by Higgins mummy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No advantages,Once a cheat always a cheat. Would she take you back if you did this? "hell no". You get over her, find someone else and be happy. If you take her back there will forever be trust issues and you set yourself up for dissapointment because the relationship will not work without trust.
2007-02-13 19:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by atlanta_calling 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you could consider trying in the relationship again if you two went to counseling and found out what she was seeking in a relationship that she was not getting from your relationship. It would take some serious counceling and introspection on both your parts to make it work and even then you two might discover that it isn't going to work. You might even discover that you don't WANT her back after all.
2007-02-13 19:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm struggling to think of an advantage. I suppose if you don't mind being jerked around again by somebody who has already proven they aren't in it for any long haul, and your heart is made of stone, then there's whatever was positive about the relationship.
If you are a masochist, you might go for it too.
I say, "no" however.
2007-02-13 19:46:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋