Please tell me what you think of this small bit of writing I did?

Question

The sun crept over the horizon; the traffic lights flickered off one by one, like dominos falling to daybreak. The slow trickle of car swelled into a massive moving body of metal, moving in unison across the cold pavement. As the nooks and crannies of the city began to flood with light people emerged from their homes, scurrying about, in a rush to get the day started as quickly as possible. Shop owners lit their neon open signs, children stood in small groups as they wait for the bus to turn down its familiar path, newspaper stands stocked new deliveries of every kind of printed material imaginable to the mind, the dinners brewed fresh coffee, in anticipation for the impeding rush of hungry patrons . Husbands kissed their wives goodbye; mothers hugged their children as they saw them off. The last street lamp, glowing with its heavenly hue, knowing its job complete shut off. Morning in the city had come and gone, the day with its hustle and bustle could not spend much time appreciatin

Answer 1

yes make your questions shorter so i wanna answer them


N

Answer 2

Good, descriptive text. You have some clumsy word choices, like "get the day started as quickly as possible". There is probably a more melodic way of saying that. Your tense is inconsistent in places, mixing past with present. You also need to proofread for correct comma usage.

Answer 3

That is the best writing i have read all day. I think it is a exlcllent piece that is even worth to be in a book. You should be very proud of it.

Answer 4

Very visual, I can picture the whole scene, like the opening of a movie -- well done!

Answer 5

That's a very nice piece of descriptive writing. Well done.
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Answer 6

AWESOME ADJECTIVES! I love it! It was really good.
Good job! :)