I tried breastfeeding my son (he's currently 10 mths old) but ended up putting him on formula. He was tongue-tied very badly at birth, which they didn't discover for a couple days, so he latched incorrectly and continued to do so even after his tongue was corrected. No matter how many lactation counsultants and nurses tried it was literally impossible, my nipples were in horrible shape and scabbed and bleeding. So I tried pumping with a manual and then an electric pump but couldn't get enough milk this way to keep him satisfied. I was soooooo upset having to put him on formula after I promised myself I would breastfeed through "h*ll and high water".
We are planning on having another baby in the next year or two and I would like to try breastfeeding again with that one but I feel bad that my son wasn't able to benefit from being breastfed.
Am I being silly for feeling this way? Has anyone else gone through this situation before?
2007-02-13 11:18:30 · 13 answers · asked by Sexy_Bunny 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
You tried to make breastfeeding happen for your 1st baby - even the lactation consultants couldn't help. You put more effort in than most women. Most women give up without even reaching out for help. To not breastfeed your next one because of the difficulty with your first one would be a waste! You did the best you could. It would be wonderful if you could breastfeed your next child. And it would be especially wonderful that you would be willing to try again! If you find yourself with similar problems, may I recommend the Medela Contact Nipple Shield. My son didn't latch on correctly (and didn't learn to suck properly until going through months of physical therapy - he was chewing, biting, etc. and not getting what he needed because of it) and the nipple shield made the pain drastically less and allowed me to continue breastfeeding. Perhaps it could help your next one. Good luck! Again - you shouldn't feel guilty - you know you gave it the best effort!
2007-02-14 14:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by JadeAMurray 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes, but in reverse. I breast fed my first one, but my second one was a preemie with a weak suck. I pumped for him too and I tried to get him to latch for a few weeks. He would start off strong, but then get too weak and I would end up pumping. It took me a couple of hours to feed him and I also had a 2 year old running around. After 3 weeks I said enough and put him on formula. I was sad I couldn't do for him what I did for his sister. I felt like the worst mother in the world, but you know what, we all do the best we can with what we have and that's how I look at it now. He's 5 years old and my daughter is 7. He is just as healthy and smart as my daughter. I don't think about it anymore.
If you can breast feed the next one - that's great, but if it turns out that you can't, don't beat yourself up. I think they put too much emphasis on breast feeding anymore. They make you feel like less of a mother if you don't do it, no matter the reason. Sometimes it's just not possible and it's better to give formula than to let the baby starve to death. Besides they have come a long way in advancing the nutrition of formula now.
2007-02-13 11:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Stop beating yourself up about this. You tried and it wasn't your fault that your son had a medical condition. I think if you want to breastfeed the next one then do so. It doesn't mean you love that baby more if you are successful. I regret not trying it with my twins but I just thought that it would be too hard with the two. I was planning on doing it if I ever had/have any other children. By the way my formula fed babies are growing up to be very healthy smart children. Good luck
2007-02-13 11:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
you're doing an outstanding interest and feeling in charge basically potential you're a large mom given which you care. there is not any longer something incorrect with supplementing with formulation or giving your infant formulation altogether. exceedingly in case you gave her the 1st considerable little bit of your milk whilst she grew to become into new child. formulation is crammed with food and your infant would be basically as wholesome. i grew to become into formulation fed from start and that i'm completely wholesome and have no hypersensitive reactions. i'm 30 years previous and function a infant on my very own now which I do breastfeed yet I supplement formulation besides. Your chum is obviously basically attempting to make you sense undesirable for some reason. does not sound like a large chum to me. sturdy success with all of it. You daughter would be very happy with you whilst she realised how perplexing you have worked to confirm you have the final attainable existence.
2016-10-02 02:32:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation (but it was my first 2 that I didn't bf'ed.) Although I do feel guilty that I didn't stick it out with the first 2, I understand that at the time I did the best I could. I was a really nervous mommy with my first and was completely overwhelmed. Bf'ing didn't have a chance even though I did want it to work at the time. My 2nd was unbelievably colicky and had reflux.....
Now, knowing what I know now, I didn't do everything I could do to bf'ed them and in hindsight I wish so much that I had stuck it out. But---beating myself up about it won't accomplish anything. Both children did just fine on formula and grew up to be healthy children!
That said, I am so glad that I did stick out the bf'ing with my 3rd child. It was a wonderful experience and I'm glad we both experienced it. So I'd say to you---lose the guilt (it's not going to accomplish anything) and commit to bf'ing your next child---you'll be glad you did!
2007-02-13 11:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by josie 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
All of us "formula moms" have GOT to let ourselves off the hook. I b/fed my son for 4 months and quit b/c it was still so painful! I went to 3 lactation consultants and they all said he was latching correctly but that he had a very strong sucking reflex....he was devouring me! So I pumped for 2 months and did formula around 6 months. I am going to b/feed the next, but I don't feel bad about quiting with my first b/c I did all that I could. You did all you could too and you need to cut yourself some slack. Your son is healthy, happy and nutritionally balanced....what's wrong with that? My son is 20 months now and has only been sick two times, he's happy and extremely bright....what's wrong with that? You're not silly for feeling guilty, you're a mom. But you have to look forward at all the wonderful times you're going to have with your son instead of wishing you could change something out of your control. Good luck!
2007-02-13 12:10:21 · answer #6 · answered by emrobs 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think it is a damn shame that there is so much push for breast feeding that mothers that cant, for whatever reason, end up feeling guilty!
Breastfeeding is ONLY best for baby if it works for BOTH of you. If they are stressed and you are stressed this can create bonding issues.
Do not feel guilty for what happened the first time, and in the same respect do not set yourself up for faliure this time. Think "I can give it another *all* that I have." If it doesn't work out. That's o.k. too .
2007-02-13 11:32:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Being a grandfather, and close to my daughter who was able to breastfeed, I can understand where you are coming from.
There's no reason to feel guilty about the situation that occured with the first son..
however; don't feel that you HAVE to breastfeed, just cause you weren't able to feed the first child.
Doing it for that reason would be worse than not doing it at all, and would be for the wrong reasons..
Just take care of yourself and the new baby, and things should be fine.
2007-02-13 11:28:44 · answer #8 · answered by chuckufarley2a 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I wasnt able to breast feed my first even though I told myself I would no matter what. He was very impatient. But I will try again with the next. At least try!! Those doctors say just a little counts and goes a long way.
2007-02-13 14:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Baby Julie due 5/12 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's perfectly normal to feel guilty... but you shouldn't. You did the best thing for both you and your child at the time--and despite what some people will tell you, your happiness and health is just as, if not more, important than your child's. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy (unless someone's a sadist). You shouldn't have to suffer for your children unless you really have to.
If your son is healthy and happy, then you need to stop beating yourself up and focus on the positive. Feeling guilty only drains you.
2007-02-13 11:34:58 · answer #10 · answered by shoujomaniac101 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋