He lives in North Carolina and we live in New York. Its a 12 hour drive from up here to down there. He's also asking that I meet him halfway. My daughter is only 5 months old. I don't believe its fair that she be in a car for 12hours for only a long weekend every other holiday. Am I wrong to not want her to be travelling 12 hours in a car?? Especially only for 4 days.. well really 3 since the 4th day she will be riding for 12 hours again... Oh and another thing.. she doesn't know him. She has seem him twice.. once when she was 2 and 1/2 months ang again at 3 and a half months... I know that at 22.. I wouldnt enjoy being cooped up in a car for 12 hours.. and I could at least get put and walk a bit if we stopped. She can't...
2007-02-13 11:13:12 · 12 answers · asked by bby143doll 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
He is in NC with the Air Force. His famiily is still up here... so is mine. There was no court order.. I, possibly wrongly, decided we could attempt to work out when he gets to see her ourselves.
2007-02-13 11:56:00 · update #1
Right, so he wants to see his child when it suits him huh?? He doesn't want the responsibility just a fun weekend every so oftern..
He doesn't have her best interest's at heart. Making a baby sit in a car for 12hours is horrible. What a loser. He needs to grow up. Seeing his child for a few days every so oftern is not what a father is.
I don;t know about USA but in Australia the courts would not pass this. Im with you on this. And she is only 5months old. what does he expect when she is 5years old?? Walk there on her own...??? He has no idea.
If he wants to see her, he should come to you. Your baby should not be taken or separated from you. I understand it is important for every child to know their parents (even if one or the other is a tosser) but it is not fair for him to come and go as he please's and be telling you what he wants you to do. You must stand up for yourself. Tell him to get his *** on a plane and spend a bit of time with her at her home, because she is not ready to be separated from her mother. You may not like each other but you do have to get along for the sake of the child.
2007-02-13 11:40:35 · answer #1 · answered by Moz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Visitation rights don't mean that you have to drag a baby all over the country. Go back to the judge who issued the original order and ask for an amendment. Your daughter's father can come to you and visit with her at your home, or at some neutral site if he chooses. A five month old has no idea who anyone is, really, and certainly not someone that she has only seen twice and won't see again until the next holiday rolls around.
This is a real imposition on you, and could have very serious consequences for your daughter. But you have to act quickly, before it becomes an established routine.
2007-02-13 11:25:50 · answer #2 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where was the court order issued? In NY or NC? Who do you have to abide by since you live in NY what are they gonna do? I'm no expert but it seems like you could have it stipulated in the custody order that he would have to pay for her to travel by air till she's a certain age. I think she should know her father if it's a safe environment and everything but it does seem a little much.
2007-02-13 11:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by cinnycinda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself how much you would want to see her if he was the one who had her and how much you would appreciate it if he met you half way. And think of how would tell your daughter as she gets older that you just didn't want to make the drive and that is why she doesn't have a relationship with her father.
I drive halfway with my daughter, because being a parent is a responsibility that you both have to share. I can understand how much you don't want to do it, believe me, but I think having a relationship with both parents is going to impact her life in a better way and knowing that you and her Dad worked together will make her respect you both more as she grows. Just try to put yourself in his shoes. You have your daughter all the time, he only sees her on these short weekends, imagine if that is all you had with your daughter. Would you want to spend most of it driving?
2007-02-13 11:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put yourself in his place if the roles were reversed, would it matter to you if you didn't get to see your child? What if he had custody and he was making the decisions. She's never going to know him if he can't see her. It is important for children to spend any time with both parents. If you truly love your child you will do it and when she grows up, she will always love and respect you for that. I would meet him halfway, I don't think think that's asking too much. When my ex didn't have the airfare to fly his daughter back to see him, I paid for it because I didn't want him not to see her, he hadn't seen her in over a year. I did it out of love for my daughter and if the roles were reversed I would want him to do it for me. He was even behind in his child support and it didn't matter.
2007-02-13 11:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by grdangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey scooby - it's not about her being inconvenienced, but about a 5 month old being stuck in a car for 12 hours. it's unreasonable. If he wants to see the baby, i say maybe he pays for a plane ticket for the both of you to come there - then maybe he won't be asking for such ridiculous things.
2007-02-14 05:04:07 · answer #6 · answered by SB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the court has stated that the father does get visitation, you need to talk with your lawyer about the expenses and the distance involved.
2007-02-13 11:22:45 · answer #7 · answered by kabmiller@verizon.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend, she is far too young for the bull-crap to satisfy her father. tell him if he can't move a little closer to you, then he'll just have to see her when he sees her know what i mean!! if he really starts acting a fool seek some legal advice my friend quick, fast, and in a hurry. Good Luck!!!
2007-02-13 11:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by kacarter2117 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not fair, but if the court says it must be done, then you have to follow the rules. maybe see if he can fly up there to see her, etc. she is only 5 mths. try to work out a compromise. maybe someone can move.
2007-02-13 11:19:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
now you dont want to make the effort so that her father can have a relationship with his daughter, but im pretty sure you want him to make the effort to work and make sure his child support is paid every month. im not trying to be rude but its not fair.he shouldnt have to drive the whole way. and later when she is older and you want time to yourself you wont be able to get it because she wont know her father. just put yourself in his position. my boyfriend has other kids and i have to listen to him cry because he cant spend time with his kids. you dont know what its like to live without your child dont make her father know what its like
2007-02-13 12:08:04 · answer #10 · answered by baileysmommy06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋