Having an affair?

Question

I have been married to my husband for 12 years we have 3 kids. He is an excellent husband except I don't get satified by him in bed. Sex with my husband I can live without for the rest of my life. For 7 months now I have been cheating on my hubby with a man that does satify me in bed. This man that I'm having an affair with is someone I would not want more than what it is which is mostly sex. Please don't recomend counsling because a counsler can not make me enjoy sex with my husband.

Answer 1

You go girl! I feel the same about my spouse... Let me know if you ever want to meet and compare notes, I'm in the same area code as you... oh my!

Answer 2

Hey I know what you're going through in not being satisfied in bed. I'm married 17 years and have two teenage boys. I haven't had an affair just yet but, I have been thinking about it and honestly I don't know if I can. But, on the other side I want to experience another man. My husband is the only man I've had sex with. I was a virgin when I met him. I feel I'm missing something. Others have suggested counsling to me too. And you're right a counsler can't make you enjoy sex with your husband. There are times sex is quite good with hubby, but you know. You just have to trust yourself, your feelings and go with the flow.

Answer 3

First of all, this sounds more like a confession than a question, but I'm assuming you want to break off the affair and devote yourself to your marriage, just not sure how. But first you need to deal with the crime you committed against your spouse. You made the wrong decision with the affair. It kills me every time I read about someone on yahoo answers who is cheating on their spouse and looking for advice from total strangers. I feel sorry for you, but more so for your husband. First, you have to tell your hubby what you've done. The truth is the best policy in marriage - always, no exceptions. If he still wants to be with you, you and he need to work on the sexual part of your relationship so that you can both be satisfied. Tell him what you want and how you want it.

But honestly, an affair?!? What were you thinking?!? If you're so hot in the pants to sleep with another man you better cool off!!!! You are a married woman!!! There's more to life than getting off!!!

Answer 4

How about doing something to spice up the marriage. Do something that will get him the education he needs.

In Nevada, there are legal brothels. Why don't you get him a gift certificate there. Make an appointement, go with him. Surprise him.

Call ahead and make an appointment. Maybe you should go together as a couple. you both might be able to learn something.

Afterwards, sit down and have a talk with your husband. Tell him you love him and want to live with him but he can't satisfy you. Tell him you give him permission to seek satisfaction elsewhere and you will do the same.

Answer 5

If he such an excellent husband why are you treating him so poorly by cheating on him??/ doesn't he deserve your loyalty and respect.
An excellent husband and great life with your family or a great time in bed with someone who is only good for sex????
What if the situation was reversed would you be OK with it...

Answer 6

What are you looking for by posting here? Are you looking for people to tell you that it is OK? Are you looking for others to empathize? If you are looking to confess anonymously to get it out so you can feel better, go to your priest.

Are you OK with him having sex with another woman because you don't do it for him? I think that what you are doing is wrong, disrespectful and hurtful to your husband. You are a grown up woman. You know what to do. You know right from wrong. If you've already given up on your husband, then be honest about it and separate. Deal with the consequences and move on. You don't get to keep all the good things about him and just throw the rest of him away.

Answer 7

Though this goes against how i feel religiously, as long as you are aware of the possible destructive consequences and can keep a secret and NO ONE finds out. Take care of yourself. But the second you feel that other person is becoming anything more than a ...to be blunt...sex toy....walk away. But be aware of the doors you are opening within yourself and your marriage. It is a terrible risk, especially if you and your spouse love each other.

Answer 8

You have not asked a question and yet something is troubling you or you wouldn't have posted. What's the issue if all is well? If you are happy being married and having sex on the side with your lover then why are you here? Answer that and I'll answer you.

Answer 9

Use whatever excuse you want ... bringing a 3rd person into a marriage will destroy it. Affairs are selfish, self centered behaviour and your husband and children deserve better.

You are turning your husband and childrens lives upside down, fracturing their family unit and destroying their peace and harmony. Remember this word: karma :-)

Answer 10

I think you would be wiser next time to make sure you are happy by your own strength, so nobody gets hurt. We need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes to truly know what to do. What would you want your husband to do if the same situation were reversed?

Answer 11

First off, you need to come clean about your affair. Second, you need to tell the other guy what your true intentions are. It's not fair to lead these men on. In the end, you'll only be hurting them, yourself, and most of all, your children. Many blessings.