he is smart...he is faithful....he is handsome...he is sweet...
he is my heart....well you get the picture...but the problem is I am over weight and depressed, I hate myself!
CAN'T LOVE SOMEONE IF YOU DON'T LOVE YOURSELF...IS THAT TRUE OR NOT...DID I DO THE RIGHT THING?
2007-02-13 10:14:53 · 37 answers · asked by La'Grange 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
hey everyone you all had good deep answers.... I can't choose a best answer so I will leave it up to the voters...good luck and thanks alot... I have come to the conclusion that I might take him back after I feel better about myself.
2007-02-13 14:43:29 · update #1
If he is the one you want to be with then you did the wrong thing.
You need to work out your problems but, if he wants to be with you while you do this then he can help you.
2007-02-13 10:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You definitly did the wrong thing. Just because you're overweight doesn't mean you're not allowed to experience love and be loved. If you are so miserable with the way that you are why not start exercising, go see a nutritionist, and work with a professional trainer to build a workout program that will work best for you and your schedule. Make a list ofthe things you want to do in your life and start working towards those goals too and go and talk to a therapist so you can work out your self-hate issues.
I can't believe that you would dump someone simply because you don't like yourself?! He would have been your cheering section among all the other good things that you listed about him. If you're smart you'll get him back, and tell him why you broke up with him in the first place, maybe he can give you more encouragment in the areas you really need it.
I used to be very overweight and when I met my fiance he was my cheering section while I was trying to lose the weight. He did and still does tell me I'm beautiful everyday and tells me how much he loves all the time and ALWAYS tells me that I would never have to be a size 6, with triple F b**bs to be beautiful to him.
If you found someone that great, why would you ever not want them around???!
2007-02-13 10:25:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest sweetie, I know how it feels to be depressed. I have suffered with depression my whole life. I am now 26 and have finally realized the exact thing you are asking. You did the wrong thing. If he is all you say he is, then honey, someone else is more then willing to take him if you don't want him. You have to realize that you may think that you are over weight but do you really think he sees you that way? If he's with you, then he loves you for you. It doesn't matter what you look like. If you suffer from depression, it is wise to see a doctor before it gets any worse. Your thoughts on hateing yourself and on your weight steam from the depression. It is not you talking, that is the depression talking. Don't let it get in the way of something that may make you happy for the rest of your life. If you let him go, and don't get the help you deserve, not need...deserve, then you will regret it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You may not see it right now, but it is true.
2007-02-13 10:23:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would only be wrong if you didn't give the relationship a chance or if you didn't tell him why you broke up with him.
See, soulmates aren't just there for the good times. They're also there for the bad times. They will hold your hand in the darkness until you find the light. And in return, when they need you to do the same, you do it, no questions asked.
If you didn't give him a chance to help you, or if you made it seem like you wanted out of the relationship because you weren't happy WITH HIM, then you need to go make amends with him and explain why you broke up with him.
Think about it. If you knew he was going through a bad time, wouldn't you want to help him through it? I'm sure if he loves you, he wants to do the same for you.
Yes, it's true that you can't learn to love someone if you don't love yourself, but you also can't lock people out because you don't think you're worthy of them, or because you're afraid. Be strong. Love is scary, and relationships are hard work, but the pay-off is amazing. Good luck.
2007-02-13 10:21:47 · answer #4 · answered by mikah_smiles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you, but I think you made the wrong move? If you feel like you are overweight, why not have someone by your side encouraging you and being there for you while you do whatever you can to make yourself happier with yourself. Why be alone and more miserable?? If you are like me, you eat when you are upset. Why give yourself more reason to make yourself more miserable. I am in the process of trying to lose some serious weight and I have to say there is nothing better than having someone there for you to support you and who loves you for who you are. I'd rather have a guy that knew me when I was "fatter" and loved me then instead of just having a guy who would love me cuz I'm skinny. (Assuming I ever lose my goal weight)
Get a group membership to a gym and drag him there with you! Its fun that way!
2007-02-13 10:22:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the saying goes how can you expect anyone to love you if you cannot love yourself...not loving you has no affect on your ability to love others.
That being said, you do need to get a handle on your depression and self esteem. You're not going to be a good partner for anyone in the emotional state you are currently in.
If this guy really was a soulmate then he'll be around...perhaps not romantically but then not all soulmates are romantic partners...they are just people we feel a deep connection to soon after meeting them.
Take care of you...work on you inside and out (get help if you need to) and then you can think about sharing your groovy life with someone else.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 10:19:50 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you torturing yourself for a reason? He obviously liked you...because he was good to you. Some men love big women. If you are like most women, you probably see yourself differantly than you really are. Even skinny women say they are over-weight because of the way the magazines portray the way you're "supposed" to look. Go NOW to his home and tell him it was a mistake. If he is understanding, talk to him about how you feel about yourself...then get a Doctor's help...this spiral of self-loathing will only get worse. If he shuts the door in your face...he wasn't the prince Charming you thought he was, and you're only better for dumping him...but, still seek a councelor for help with your depression! Good luck!
2007-02-13 10:22:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is really ur soulmate u made a big mistake because u will never find a person as great as he was, which might make u more depressed. if the relationship was good it doesnt matter if u are overweight. u shouldn't let ur weight depress u or make u hate urself channel it in to positive energy and lose the wieght if that will make u happy. just stop being lazy and get out there. good luck.
2007-02-13 10:22:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you did the right thing. If you love him and he really loves you them your weight does not matter. If you are that sad about your weight them go to the gym or if you do and its not helping them go to see your doctor. But girl I am telling you that you should try to get him back and let him know what you are feeling because a good guy like that is hard to find and if hes your soulmate then nothing should matter like that the only thing that should matter is how much you to love eachther.
2007-02-13 10:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by marie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you need to work on your self-esteem and talk to this guy and let him know what's going on with you for he went out with you cause he liked you and i think that he can help you with you starting to like and love yourself but he can't help if he doesn't know so let him in and you might find that he can help. COMMUNICATION is the key to a great relationship. Also I'm over weight too and I've been in your shoes but i opened up to the soul mate that I found and he helped me to love myself by helping me to know that i am beautiful in every way that matters and the only thing that dose matter is that it's about how he sees you and vice verse for it's about the two of you not him, you and the rest of the world. Hope this helps.
2007-02-13 10:26:24 · answer #10 · answered by outlawprincess5321 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up with someone who I would die for. Just because you are overweight? You aren't being very nice to yourself. Maybe you should reconsider. Thats a dumb reason. If you are depressed, then go to your doctor, and he will advise you. In the meantime, let your boyfriend no about the depression. Maybe he will forgive you and take you back. Smarten up girl. Sounds like he would be a keeper, not a toss out.
2007-02-13 10:21:52 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋