Ok guys.. been with this girl for 9 years.. basically we've been having trust issues. Never ever in the relationship have I had trust issues before. Recently, she's been deleting text messages, calls, and e-mails, from a guy she says is trying to help her get on the police department.
I've confronted her many, many times, asking all kinds of questions. She assures me nothing is going on, and if she wanted to be with him then she would.
However, she still deletes her calls and messages, and I just don't know anymore. After 9 years, I've given her a lot of trust, I am not controlling but this has been really killin me lately.
So my question, I've confronted her about her maybe cheating... she assures me but I still don't feel right about it.. it's like nothing will be normal again. What should I do now?? Since I already confronted her
2007-02-13 10:05:46 · 9 answers · asked by mike d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This questions sounds VERY familiar to a guy who was asking very similar questions about a guy who was helping his girlfriend get a job. You the same guy by any chance?
My first question is why you have a girlfriend of 9 years instead of a wife of 7 or 8 years? Any particular reason why you've been with the same woman for 9 years without asking her to marry you? Maybe your girlfriend is telling the truth and maybe she isn't. But what do you expect after being with you for 9 years and still no ring?????
Better take care of your business at home my friend. Because it sounds like somebody else is ready to!
2007-02-13 10:18:24 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. You confronted her, you gave her trust before. You are right to question what is going on. If you are still not satisfied, and she won't come clean, time to do a little P.I. work. Hire a PI, or better yet, get a computer monitoring device. There are a lot of options there. Just do a search. You can buy hardware or software that is undetectable even to anti-virus programs like Norton. Then you will know the truth if it's nothing or something.
2007-02-13 10:15:18 · answer #2 · answered by Get it Together 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all - why are you looking through her phone. You must be since you know she's deleting her messages. She probably feels invaded and is hoping to stop you from getting jealous by deleting all signs of the guy.
If she is a friend of hers then suggest that you all hang out sometime for dinner or whatever.
Right now you need to just let this go if you can. If she tells you that she's not having an affair then you should trust her. If you can't - then leave. It will eat you up inside and you will lose her trust by the constant nagging and snooping.
2007-02-13 10:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by Niko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is such a monster. It has taken over your life here. I dont see where she has given you concern to be worried about. Shes probably erasing the messages in an attempt to avoid exactly what has happened here. Other than your own insecurities, I see nothing here where she has done anything wrong. Youve asked her and she told you nothing is going on, so drop it, trust her and move on. She senses your jealousy and is trying desperately to avoid it. She is right if she wanted him youd be all alone right now. She undoubtedly loves you and trusts you to put up with all your insecurities. So trust her til you have something more solid to work on. Good luck
2007-02-13 10:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel right about it its that gut feeling thats telling you something isn't right.I have ignored that gut feeling for 18 months before and it turned out I was right just never caught him in the act but I knew the whole relationship something wasn't right.NEVER IGNORE YOUR GUT FEELING.I cant stress that enough you know something is wrong if you are not a controlling possesive maniac and you are having these feelings then you know somethin just aint right.Try and catch her is all I can say......don't sweep it under the rug though
2007-02-13 10:51:33 · answer #5 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask her straight out that if there is nothing going on then why does she feel the need to delete his texts and calls? Explain that if she is doing something she would not do in front of you then that could create a problem.
2007-02-13 10:09:43 · answer #6 · answered by tiki/more 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she disappear on you to where you can't find her, or do you call her and she won't answer? Basically what I am asking is, does she take off on her own without you knowing where she is at. If she isn't then don't worry, chances are there is nothing going on BUT if she does disappear on you then you might want to keep closer tabs on her. Good luck!
2007-02-13 10:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you both should talk to each other in detail..you should tell her whatever you feel bcoz this is the only way you could feel better..
hear her version of the story..decide mutually..give her full time and support which she wants so that she comes out with the real story..
dont let communication gap come..
i feel that sometimes talking to each other and deciding gives lot of answers..
if she is deleting the text msgs that means something is goin on in her mind..dont decide anything big just like that..
TALK TO HER.
2007-02-13 10:15:08 · answer #8 · answered by m_s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust her, leave her.
2007-02-13 10:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by jwaddles53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋