I am a married 39 yr old woman. I work full-time. I have 3 children. One is still at home. I've been married 12 years. There is absolutely no romance or affection in my marriage. Everyone says thats normal in a marriage. But, I am finding it hard to live with. I guess I need to accept it and believe me I try. But I still get so lonely. Anyone have any suggestions to kep from feeling so darn lonely?
2007-02-13 09:55:24 · 32 answers · asked by delorisjp 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Join a club or take some night classes you would enjoy. Then maybe you will meet some girlfriends you can hang out with. Plus you'll be getting out of the house. doing something you enjoy, and learning something new.
2007-02-13 09:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Whoever says that no romance or affection in a marriage is normal is crazy!!!
Was there ever any of this in your marriage?
I think you should talk to your husband and let him know how you are feeling...so lonely...and tell him you need to change that and would like to change it together
If he is not open to putting some romance into your life and this is what you need, then you can either accept what your crazy friends are telling you is normal and be unhappy for the rest of your life or you can leave and start a new life
No one should be married and be lonely all of the time! We all get a little lonely sometimes, but it should not be all of the time
You need to make some changes...hopefully your husband loves you enough to help you and you can change things together and cure that loneliness of yours
good luck
be cool...
2007-02-13 10:09:34 · answer #2 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I am 22 and have not experience marriage yet, but I have experience the feeling of being extremely lonely. I have also been with the current boyfriend for 5 years. I do know that in order to keep a relationship feeling "alive" you need to try different things. In regards to your marriage maybe try stuff you havent done in a long time or ever. (Lingerie, candles, and wine...vacations...cruises) For yourself, join a gym and enroll in classes. The classes help you keep in shape PLUS you can meet some awesome people there and might make new friends. Volunteer work is very fun and rewarding. Maybe join big brothers/big sisters. That will give you something to do as well. Find something you like to do and make it a hobby. Schedule a weekly get together with your best girl friends and watch a movie then go somewhere and have a glass of wine and chat.
Things like this have and still do help me out from time to time. Good Luck and be happy!
2007-02-13 10:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband used to ignore me too. There was never any couple time/affection. We lived in the same house, but separately. The way that I handle the situation was to call the girls! Women need other women. Set up a girls night once or twice a week. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. My friends and I meet at my house and take turns cooking a meal. We watch a movie, play games, gossip, dye hair, whatever you get the point? It gives us some much needed girl time and now my husband has been trying to schedule time with me since I am always so busy with them!
2007-02-13 10:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by Momma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married for twelve years, have a new child, stay at home Dad, no support group (no grandparents worth mentioning), going to school (on line), and have very little contact with anyone other then my daughter over the course of the week.
I know your physical lacking pretty well (I'd rather not say how long it has been for my marriage).
My first suggestion- tell your husband how you feel do not assume he knows (cause he doesn't), then give him a hug, take his hand when you are just sitting, curl up to him at night, tell him you want his attention.
He's just tired like you are, and he would rather sleep then just about anything else.
Don't be afraid to make the first move.
2007-02-13 10:09:14 · answer #5 · answered by Harmon 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No it's not "normal" and if you don't find it acceptable then take steps to make your marriage and/or life what you want it to be.
I left a marriage that was an emotional vacuum. I refuse to settle and won't waste my life with someone who would rather be a roommate than a romantic partner.
What you choose is up to you, but if you do nothing to change or improve your situation then you've got no room to complain.
Your options are to speak to him about it...couples counseling...or possibly going your separate ways (if the other 2 don't work).
I'd rather be alone (single) than in a relationship and lonely...which is why I ended my 2nd marriage. This life is too short to be unhappy when it's within our power to change that.
2007-02-13 10:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your hubby you are lonely and want more attention. Tell him you have been reading about other women's story and find this type of stuff leads to men and women having affairs. Let him know you love him very much and don't want anything like that to happen to your relationship.
This should be enough to find out how he really feels. If he cares he will start taking actions to keep you more happy.
2007-02-13 10:06:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's not normal. That's one of the best things about marriage. Try talking to him, or go to a councilor.
Try shaking things up. Surprise him with a well planned out romantic evening. Be seductive, lingerie, talk dirty, the whole works. Go out on dates with him. Make him feel good about himself. Compliment him when you can. Smile, flirt, turn on the charm.
If you want what you don't have,
you have to do what you've never done.
2007-02-13 10:09:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I feel you, I'm in the same situation and really there's nothing to do I have tried everything I have been married for 8 years. If you want to talk more about this e-mail me at nievez_bee@hotmail.com
2007-02-13 10:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by bee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have what is called a do over life in golf its a mulligan where no penalty is affixed to taking an extra stroke in your case moving on to the next man in your life. Offer the dead husband a coffin. pick it out together actually go shopping for it and explain to him that he is going to need it when you leave him for being dead. take up swing dancing with him seriously its happy music great cardio and if I can learn it everyone can. together sit and study the book the Kama sutra. go buy him that book right now and tell him together each week you need to explore each and every lesson together and if he doesn't want to play ball in your park? Just put his lazy as* on waivers
2007-02-13 10:12:00 · answer #10 · answered by Arthur Richards of Kent 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋