Do i have a leg to stand on in court with my ex girlfriend concerning my 7 year old son?

Question

i have had my seven year old son everyother day since birth plus sundays til the afternoon so we an go to church, which is a mutal agreement among his mother and i. she did cancel child support, but she is constantly playing games with my son and our visitations and calls constantly when i have him. She is jelouse and envious of our relationship and wont let him see or talk to me or my family when she has him. what can i do about this situation in court? I feel she is emotionally damaging him and when shes at work she leaves him with her dad her dad and he dont want to be ther, but wishes to be with me and he asks she tells him no. this goes deeper but ijust want an idea of what to expect when i go to court. i dont want custody or try and take him away, but i do want him more as he loves to be here. thanx

Answer 1

You will need to get an agreement on paper, signed by both of you stipulating when, with who, and where this child is to be when not with one or the other parent. Start making a paper trail, when dealing with the mother. Write everything down, when she calls, where she takes him, who she leaves him with instead of you and the reason why. Make sure you have witnesses that will go to court with you and support your claims. There is nothing you can do about her jealousy over the relationship you and your son have.

This whole scenario is difficult for the child and he will need to know that you love him as does your family. He will have a difficult time so counseling might be something that you and his mother will need to negotiate.

Good luck, most courts are sympathetic to a father wanting more time with his child although I might mention that since you are not paying child support it might be a little more difficult in court so start paying support and if she refuses it open a bank account in your son's and your name and put the money in there every month. Then when you go to court and she claims you aren't paying any support you can show the judge you are and believe me this will go a long way in your favor

Answer 2

What the court will more than likely do is set up a regular visitation schedule which will probably be you will get your son every other weekend and every Wednesday evening. As far as child support I think she is "cutting off her nose to spite her face" by not getting it. Even if she doesn't use it now it could be placed into an account for when the boy grows up, it could help pay for a car or better yet his college education considering that by the time he gets into college tuition will have muliplied at least 7 times and books aren't getting any cheaper either, scholarships are getting fewer and farther between and companies that dole out student loans are contracting nowadays to have the loan paid in full within a year of graduation which isn't going to be easy. When he is in HER custody and she has to go to work she has every right to leave him with her father, as long as her father is dependable and responsible. The fact that the boy doesn't like it doesn't enter into the picture at all. Consider yourself lucky that he isn't in a day care where YOU would have to pay the bill for it.

Answer 3

First, how did she cancel the child support? Thru the courts or all by herself? Bedcause if she cancelled your payments herself, youre going to be in for a surprise when you go to court. When she was awarded custody with support was there a order awarded to you for visitation? If so then shes violating the decree and the courts can enforce that. Other than her possibly violating a possible decree order, you really have nothing to take her back to court on. You have no evidence of physical abuse and mental/emotional abuse is nearly impossible to prove with kids. Jealousy and envy are not legal crimes. Since she has full custody she can leave him with her dad if she wants. So, basically you have really dont have much that I can see to take her back to court for and accomplish anything. Sorry

Answer 4

The meds should help him w/ his focus that is the whole point. W/o the meds it is like he feels "speedy" . Like a feeling of being out of control. Do you really want him to feel this way? Have you tried the meds on him yet? The parents I know that have children w/ add will give them the med during school week and take him off on the wkends. Maybe you can try it. It is very awesome that you are concerned and are doing research. That is admirable but you need to find out how he is feeling when not taking it. Also I would suggest getting in touch w/ a special education advocate in your states public school system. They can help you do your research and can maybe testify in court on your behalf. The bottom line is the child and his well being. Good Luck

Answer 5

you need to contact a lawyer. have the lawyer draw up the paperwork on how you want to set up visitation and then petition the court for a hearing. i know a few couples where mom has the kid tue @ 7pm , wed, thurs, fri til 7pm and dad has him the other time. or dad has the kid fri, sat, sun and goes back with mom the other time. i would mention your concerns to you sons doctor or maybe even the principle or counselor at school. have them talk to him and see how he is feeling. you could also both go in for counseling together or separate on the days you have him. all these things will help your case and look good to the judge.

Answer 6

It is commendable that you love your son and take him to church. Why did she cancel child support and what are you doing financially to support your child? Usually courts make decisions more favorable to the mother. Having babies and not having commitment to a relationship often is the pathway to pain for everyone involved including the child's. I wish you all a happy and satisfactory solution in this matter.

Answer 7

Don't think you have much of a case unless you have evidence of abuse when your son is there with other people.

You don't have to pay child support now already.

The point is as a mother she can do anything with her son as she sees fit. Within that realm, it is none of your business, just like what you do with your son or where you take him is your responsibility. Evidence that the court looks serously includes drug activities in the house, physical abuse (harder to prove verbal abuse), child endangerment, presence of a child or sex offender, child left alone with no adult supervision. If you can document these, you have a case.

Answer 8

Well of course someone is behaving childish, you knocked up a girl (unmarried) and you all kept the baby without getting married and now you are wonder why someone can't behave like a grown up.

That's because you are all behaving worse then monkey's. You need to be a MAN and do all the right things. You cannot do anything about her acting like the child she is.

That is the mother and father you two choose for your son without a damn commitment between you.

Sorry, but from your son's perspective your values suck.

Answer 9

I would bring that up to your lawyer or the judge when your son is not around. Maybe they can give you a better idea. If they can't help you, then just explain to your son that that is how it is. Don't call when your ex-wife has him. As far as her calling you, I would simply not answer the phone (turn off the ringer or get caller id). Don't make this issue into your son's issue and certainly please don't trash talk his mom to him. If she does that, then he will see what she really is as he grows up and he will thank you for not doing back.

Answer 10

-Well, do you have a court order? Even if it's a mutual agreement you should get a court order..
-Secondly, on the days that you do have him, don't answer her calls, she is trying to control you, don't let her slowly get the time away from you...
-You don't have to apply for full custody, but apply for something...If one day she tells the officers that you "took" her son and makes up lies (due to her Jealousy) all you have to do is show the cops the "Court order" so it makes it easier....
-So good luck