Wot to do....Ive just found out im nine weeks pregnant?

Question

Im a second year uni student ,my fiance and i live in a one bedroom flat with a mortgage we barely can afford (in a town centre no less ,no place to bring up a child).Cant afford a bigger place and dont know how we could afford a baby .So confused dont know wot to do , have the baby or have a termination ???????????????????

just a comment to sassy , Im asking for a little outside opinion and not cheek .I have the contraceptive jag every three months and i am recovering from menegitis and was not given any medical advice informing that it would interfere with in anyway and yes i did ask .

Thanks to all of you have gave good factual answers .Its giving me alot to think about .To all of you who come on and give out cheek and judgement ,i hope u never end up ever having a unplanned pregnancy ....Who do u think you are to judge everyone as a stupid little girl who doesnt use protection .

THANKS GUYS

Answer 1

Trust me you will afford a baby...we were stoney broke when we had ours...they grew up to appreciate things and love doesn't cost money. Don't panic. You will manage. It's not that I'm anti abortion it's just that I speak from experience.

Congratulations! You'll be just fine.

Answer 2

It's entirely your decision, you have to do what you feel is best for you. All I will say is I had a termination 5 years ago, and the guilt I felt afterwards sent me into deep depression and I tried taking my own life 2 years ago. I'm now pregnant, my parents are in the process of moving to South Devon, and the rest of my family is scattered around the UK, my boyfriend and I are staying with his parents and are probably going to have to go on the waiting list for a council house, due to everywhere being so dear to buy or rent. But it will be OK, because I know this baby is going to be loved and want for nothing, whatever sacrifices I have to make. And there is no way I could ever go through another termination. But that is because I know how it affected me. If you do decide to have a termination, then make sure you get professional help afterwards to deal with how you're feeling, even if you think you don't need it immediately after, you most likely will at some point. And if you decide to keep the baby, you will cope. Good luck and I hope that everything works out for you whatever your decision.

Answer 3

Don't rush into a termination if you're not totally sure - it's a huge decision and one that only you can make for yourself. There's never a 'right time' to have a baby and if we all waited until we had enough money and a decent house, most people would never have any children at all. Children need their parents' love and commitment to them, and I hate to sound like a soppy romantic but most other issues are unimportant - doesn't matter if you're on a low income or where your flat is. Only you can decide if you could cope with a child now, or if you would feel comfortable with having a termination. Adoption is also an option. Talk it through plenty with your fiance and try to work out what is best for you. All the very best of luck to you both.

Answer 4

Its best ignore some of the answers you can get on here.unplanned pregnancy is a shock and very distressing,and many people cannot afford a baby at the time they get pregnant but some how everyone who has gone through with it find a way to manage there is so much help for pregnant woman now the councils even help with childcare so youd still be able to attend uni,you do need to delph deeper into this its not easy to choose to have a termination and can have lasting regret and guilt which would play havoc on your studies and relationship.You didnt say how your partner feels about the pregnancy?Persoanally there many woman on here whod love to be in your position and expecting but its not happening thats probably why you have had some rude answers.please think carefully whatever you decide

Answer 5

If you are considering a termination then you really need to look into it and arrange it as soon as possible because the later you leave it, the more complicated it gets.
Your situation is obviously not ideal, but it could be worse! At least you have a partner and your own place rather than renting. I have friends who had a baby when living in a one bed flat in a city and they managed fine.
If you are on a low income there are benefits available, although it's actually quite hard to get benefits if you are a student, so if you do decide to go ahead with the pregnancy, then look into the benefits as soon as possible because they are very much aimed at people who are working or on jobseekers.

Good luck in making your decision. Listen to your instinct about whether you want the baby, and not other people.

Answer 6

Hi there,

I'm 14 weeks pregnant. Did you know that your baby already has arms, legs, eyes and little ears which are starting to form? I think 9 weeks is too late to even consider having abortion.

OK so you are worried about money - well don't be, you will be surprised how things just seem to fall into place - even money! Find out if you are entitled to any family allowance once the baby is born? It all helps. Also have a clean up in your flat and make extra room. Yes it will be a tight squeeze, but a precious baby will be worth it.

As far as uni goes. You can always defer uni and go back to your studies when the baby is older. I'm planing on going back to uni once my baby is older.

Good luck to you and I hope you don't have an abortion because of "money". You and your partner will work things out... just try and stay positive.

Answer 7

If you're doing well in school and are engaged, then why not see if your parents or his parents will take the child while you two finish? Even though you have made a "mistake," I'm sure the grandparents would love it if you continued your schooling. Not only that, but what do you think the grandparents would rather you do? Leave the baby with them temporarily, or kill their grandchild? I'm sure either grandparents would absolutely love the child. Also, you can trust them, after all, they made the two of you didn't they? Just explain your situation and see if someone's willing to help. Your parents want only the best for you. I'm sure things will work out.

Also, I would suggest going online during the semester you are expecting. That way, you could school while nursing at home and don't have to give up anything. That would be an excellent semester for online courses such as humanities and english classes. Math classes suck online. I should know, I've taken all 3 of the aforementioned classes online.

Best of luck! Even though it doesn't feel like a happy moment, CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer 8

Only you can answer this question and I think in your heart of hearts you already know what you are going to do. Personally i would have to continue with the pregnancy, but I am not anti-abortion. It is fine all these people saying give it up for abortion but we are not talking about a stray cat you picked up on the street. You would need to be a very very strong person to do that.
It sounds like a silly thing to say but forget about the financial side of things as there is plenty of money assistance available to you. Could you offer a baby a loving, secure home, where it would always feel loved,protected and wanted? If you can then you know the answer.

Answer 9

Only you can decide what is right or wrong for you and you are asking for it raising the abortion word on answers. I am pro choice although it is not my body or my decision. You have to live with your decision and not feel guilty about it as you are sentencing yourself to a lifetime of guilt if you are not comfortable with your decision.

When i was 10 weeks pregnant (I am now 38 weeks) i had an ultrasound and i was literally stunned by the fact that the baby appeared on the screen fully formed - it even waived at us. I thought i was miscarrying after 4 years of trying to conceive so i was elated. I don't think think in my situation i could terminate after seeing a 10 week old foetus but i am not you - it is your life that will be impacted by this baby for better or worse.

The fact that you are engaged makes me think that at least you have stability and hopefully a supportive partner that will stand by you. Uni can wait. Then again if this isn't what you want in your life right now then only you can make that decision.

Answer 10

Hi Miss Nine,

Don't despair, people have gotten through worse. I was in a similar situation, and I'm now 26 weeks pregnant, single and happy!

I moved to New York on my own from Ireland, after 3 months there I met a (supposedly) wonderful man and we begun a relationship. That was a year ago. Before I found out I was pregnant, I had just gotten a job as a private nurse in an expensive hopsital, I had my life set out and I was over the moon! Then we got the news. At the time I was devastated, I won't deny it; abortion wasn't an option, because
(a) I'm not fiercly religious but it wouldn't be right
(b) It just wasn't an option in my mind, to me, it would be ethical ,in my eyes, to it.
So we split. He wanted me to have a termination, but I wouldn't do it. After a big row, we went our seperate ways, and decided he wouldn't pay child support so that he would have no claim to the child later on.(A lot of people have said this is selfish, but I'm a believer that whomever I have a relationship, they will accept my son as their own...) That arrangement suits us both.

I'm now living in Texas, and am working part-time. After the baby is born, there is a position for me to begin work here full time with proper beneifts and job security.
Sorry for the long answer, just said I'd share my story. The main point is that I AM HAPPY with the life I have created. He grows inside me and I feel his every movements, I've got a person inside me who I will teach and help to grow into a wonderful person.

No matter what you think, you have the support of your family. The initial shock will wear off, eventually. As for the living situation, I know in Ireland you can apply for a house, which in the long run you can move out of and into your own house. Universities and colleges are sympathetic to these types of circumstances, and there are more creches popping up on campus every day.

Don't despair. There are family plannng clinics all over the place, go and talk about your situation and they will offer you plenty of opportunities. But please do not give up your uni place, the worst thing you could do is give up something that affects the rest of your life because of a temporary glitch such as pregnancy. You'd be surprised how much help there is out there!

Good luck, feel free to email or IM me.

Answer 11

There is help out there - lots more than you'll get as a student! You will manage. There's never a right time to have a baby, so if you want to keep the baby, just go for it. Get down to the benefits office and find out exactly what you'll be entitled to. Speak to your personal tutor/guidance counsellor at uni about interrupting your studies and help with childcare when you return. The best of luck to you both - you can make it. I know all you can see now is the negative but believe me when I say that when the baby is born, nothing else will seem important.