One major theme in the movie The Last Battalion(underlined) was loyalty. In the ending scene Major Whittlesey refused to ride back to his office in the staff car with the General. Major Whittlesey choose to stay with the men that survived because he felt a sense of loyalty towards them because of their traumatic experiences together. Major Whitelsey was also upset about all the deaths his group suffered. He felt it was his job to protect his troops and stay with them until they returned home.
2007-02-13 09:27:35 · 7 answers · asked by Katie E 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
What if i changed it to
Major Whittlesey chose to stay with the men who survived because he felt a sense of loyalty towards them due to their traumatic experiences together.
does that sound better?
it sounds like a long sentence does it need a comma?
2007-02-13 09:46:54 · update #1
Comma after "movie" and after (underlined).Comma after scene. "Choose"should be "Chose." Change "men that survived" to "men who survived."
Chow!!
2007-02-13 09:40:27 · answer #1 · answered by No one 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the basic stuff that everyone else already said. Also, this just may be me, but it kind of bothers me when people talk about a movie or piece of literature in the past; it would be more correct to talk about it in the present. If it still exists, then it should be talked about in the present tense. For example:
One major theme in the movie (NO comma) The Last Batallion(also NO comma) IS loyalty. And so on and so on.... But be careful to stay consistent with your tenses- it sounds more sophisticated.
Also, you may want to re-work some of the sentences. For example, the third sentence sounds bulky because you used "because" twice... try to simplify it.
"Major Whittlesey chose to stay with the men that survived not only as a result of his loyalty, but also because of the traumatic experiences that they shared."
Just my opinion, take it or leave it. Good luck though!
2007-02-13 09:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by Krimo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would put a comma after "In the ending scene". Choose should be chose. And the part "because he felt a sense of loyalty towards them because of their traumatic experiences together" might should be changed. You really don't want to have two becauses in one sentence; it just doesn't flow very well. Otherwise, you did a pretty good job.
2007-02-13 09:38:14 · answer #3 · answered by sg88 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just found a tiny mistake - in the beginning of sentence 3 "choose" should be "chose". Additionally, put a comma after "scene" and before the first mention of Major Whittlesey in sentence 2. everything else is fine.
2007-02-13 09:34:10 · answer #4 · answered by need help! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In the sentence "Major Whittlesey choose to stay with the men that survived," "choose" should be "chose." You should also change "that" to "who" because men are people, not objects, and "that" refers to objects.
You also spelled "Whittlesey" as "Whitelsey" the last time you used it.
2007-02-13 09:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by cg17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, a lot too lengthy to ascertain. also a lot too densly spaced. Please divide right into a minimum of four paragraphs and positioned area between them so as that we've the prospect to capture our breath even as interpreting them.
2016-11-27 21:02:21 · answer #6 · answered by seim 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
,The Last Battalion, (commas around it)
2007-02-13 09:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by Josie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋