Ladies what should I do,?

Question

Ok here I go, Me I'm 35, she's 28, we've been involved for nine years married for 5! We have three kids together ages 2, 7, and 8, boy, boy, and girl! I must admit i spoiled her in the begining, but now nine years later she has become controlling, i can't go anywhere! I work and she hasn't since our second year together, but has taken care of home, but i wash, cook, and clean also, today is our five year marriage anniversary, but i have grown into someone else and she has grown into someone else, we hae good MOMENTS but most are bad now, but i wanna be fair! the spark is gone, were both sexual freaks, but we can't freak each other, now she wants to make me get rid of my tonge ring! What shall I do

Answer 1

You should cheat on her until she learns to appreciate what she has!

Answer 2

The important thing to keep in mind here is that in any relationship, the people involved are always changing, my advice: be open to change. Do something special for her, maybe she's just at a stage where she's feeling a little insecure hence the controlling (not that I'm justifying that it's fair, because it's not, no one should feel controlled in a relationship). My next point: you have to work together to have a secure relationship, it's important to be open to communication (no yelling, name calling or any of that kind of stuff because that's just plain hurtful), try to be as calm as possible, get a sitter for the kids or arrange for them to stay the evening at a friends house and sit down with your wife to talk. Important note: take turns talking, let the other person finish then say your piece. In my opinion there has to be something 'beneath the surface' that's making all this a little challenging for the both of you. Talk about it, a lot of the time these things are an issue of communication (especially when you have kids because they demand a lot of your time and most couples find that they have less time for each other). As far as the tongue ring is concerned: why does she want you to remove it??????

Answer 3

I don't think I can give an accurate piece of advice without knowing why she wants you to get rid of your ring. There must be a reason for her demands, Right? I will say this... If you have done something in the past with your ring that doubts her trust in you while you have it in then you should do what she asks. Now it could be something completely different, maybe it doesn't feel good anymore or maybe it bugs during " " and she don't want to hurt your feelings by telling you the truth. Maybe you should talk to her more about it, be more open minded to her feelings weigh out the pros's and con's on the entire tongue ring thing and you'll get your answer.

Answer 4

If you cant recognize that people grow all their lives, you are destined to have nothing but short relationships. A marriage takes alot of work and sweat equity. You dont get a divorce because you arent as passionate as you were when you got together, I got news, nobodys relationship lasts like that. Things change. Love her truly? Then find a way to get past the rought times. Tough it out and find a way to become closer. If you work and she doesn't, she could be going stir crazy in the house with the kids all day. Did she work bc(before children)? Do you come home from work and go hang out with other people?
I hate to bust your bubble, but you are a different person than SHE hooked up with too.
Love is alot more than physical passion.
The crux of THIS moment is the silly ring, so I put it to you, what's more important - the ring or the love of your life?

Answer 5

Always when it comes to marriage you need to be the right person. You need to lead her and set an example by adjusting yourself and moving into alignment with your family. Start focusing on her positives and you willl see more of them.

I'd also reccomend counsling. You two aren't just a couple, now you are a family.

Answer 6

well i know how it is.. i had this problem a month ago except i been with my boyfriend 2 yrs only..and im 17 and hes 21..... and at first we were good... n then he was too clingy... n i cheated on him.. n it was dumb n i regret it... but things are back to normal now... im not sayin go cheat... im sayin..... go talk to her before she does or u do... tell her whats up n how u feel... cus after i cheated my man was torn into pieces n wanted to do anything to make things right... all i needed to do the whole time was talk to him about what was goin on and how i felt... maybe thats what u need too....
hope things go well...

Answer 7

Think of your children. one of them is 2, he will grow up not really knowing his daddy. your other children are pretty young too, and to leave them wouldn't be very nice. However, if you and your wife argue, then divirce would be preferable to your children hearing thier parents having a fall out. Go to conciling, get some "stuff" to spark up your love life. Oh and if i were her, i would ask you to get rid of your tongue piercing to, they are discusting! Your wife has to look after children all under 10 years old, one of which is a baby, while your out getting your tongue pierced! Of course she is getting ratty! just help her out! take the kids out, while she has a day to relax! and GROW UP! No offence, im sure your very nice, but your wife needs you, chat to her.

Answer 8

Invest in Mariage Counselling.

Answer 9

Wow, thats heavy...I wish I could tell you something possitve, but it sounds like it is time to move on.

Answer 10

Get rid of it because you love her!