what matters the most when your planning a pregancy?

Question

hi, my name is shelbi, and i am 14 years old. i have had a boyfriend for 5 years now. he just turned 16. he has already graduated from highschool and has gotten imancipated because he would rather live on his own. he has a very nice house and makes VERY good money for being 16. i love him very much, and i have been for the past 5 years we have been together. my mom has already allowed me to move in with him when i turn 15, which is in a month. im so exicted! im on independant studies and i work at a good paying job, not a career like my husband (we alloped about 1 1/2 years ago), but a job that pays good. so me and him together have ALOT of money to work with, and a nice house. WE WANT TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP AND HAVE A CHILD. i have a total of 23 bags of diapers, about 2 1/2 boxes full of baby food and about 1 box full of baby snacks, tons and tons of toys, a crib, LOTS of clothes, babybath, and about 3000+ saved for more things. i love him. am i ready?

Answer 1

First, is he your boyfriend or husband? You started out by calling him your 'boyfriend' and then mention that you eloped a a year and a half back making him your husband. Which also means you were either between 12 and 13 when you got married. I don't know of ANY state that would allow you to get married that young even with parental consent. So I'm calling shenanigans on your whole question.

For fun, I'll still answer though.

First, your mother is foolish to let you move out on your own. You and your boyfriend can't even drive yet, how could he graduate from High School at 16? Clearly he isn't very smart for getting married at such a young age.

What is a 'good paying' job to you? I earn about $400 a week working 40 Hours a week and I'm barely making it by. You have no marketable skills at 14 besides bagging groceries.

You don't love him, you are not ready so please do the world a favor and DONT reproduce. You're throwing your life away, you have no idea even what life is yet! Your mother did a terrible job of raising you.

Get help, seriously. You have mental problems and SHAME on everyone else in who isn't answering this question with anything besides shock and anger.

At age 14/15 you have no idea what the real world is all about, your child would be a great burden on society and when your "husband" wakes up from his own fantasy world he'll drop you and the kid like a bad habit.

Answer 2

The first thing that alerted me to say that you are not ready is by your counting how many bags of diapers and boxes of baby food! So what? You'll need countless diapers and will have to feed the person for at least 18 years! The other reason I say no is because you asked strangers on the internet! Just because you can afford a child is not a reason to have one. First you call him your boyfriend and now he is your husband. I think you are way too immature to bring a person into this world. You don't seem to be an independent thinker nor an independent person. You sound very needy, dependent, dreamy, and possibly being controlled mentally by your mother and husband. What kind of mother allows her daughter to get married at 13 yrs. old (according to your calculations)? Besides not showing signs of intelligence, neither of you are even adults!

Why do you want to have child? I could write a thesis as to why not to have a child. A baby turns into a person. Why not express love for the people that are here right now? The planet is over populated by humans, mismanaged, and because of human actions, is being destroyed. It sounds like you have needs you need met, and having a child to fulfill those needs is selfish.

No, I won't get "best answer" because I think you are looking for someone to agree with you, which is what you want to hear, which is what you want to do, which is what you will do anyhow.

Answer 3

hi, look if this question is for real i know exactly where you are coming from.Imet my bf when i was 14 i turn 15 shortly after, i always wanted a baby it was my dream i did start trying to get pregnant when i was 15 with my bf.Fertility problems kept me from having a baby at 16 nothing else however, now that i look back on things i really had no idea (i have a 2 yr old now i got pregnant at 18) i thought it was going to be different than what it actually was .. i thought a baby would fit in to all the things i wanted to do and she just wouldnt have.I love her and i wouldnt change anything i have done but even partying from 14 till 18 wasnt enough i still sometimes really wanna act like a child but i cant.I think if you have a baby you will handle it ,we all manage to somehow and i doubt you will regret it but you'll miss not being just you it takes me 2-3 hours to get me and my child ready to go anywhere sometimes it would be nice to have a shower and go.Iknow this is going to sound like such a little thing to pick at but just say theres somewhere i really want to go and everyones (sisters and bf)are waiting in the car and im about to walk out the door but discover my daughter has done a poo i have to stop ..go back pull out the baby bag and get a nappy and wipes out ...change her re-dress her then put the baby bag back together and then go out to the car then normally i hope in the car and she starts asking for a drink i have to tell who ever is driving to hold on then i have to run back into the house and make a drink for her then finally if nothing else pops up i can go....normally 3 hours late!! it sounds so small but things like that really tire people and its not just that day..its all of them forever!! just wait a couple more years.you dont think you will miss you freedom until you dont have it anymore.

Answer 4

k wait your story makes no sense, at first you were like my boyfriend this and my boyfriend that, but then you start talking about your husband... well, make your story right first of all and maybe wait until your 20's to have children, your still a little child not even old enough to have a legal full time job (well at least not up here in canada your not allowed to work full time until your 16) hang with your friends and party while you can, live your youth out for a few years, save up lots of money and buy a sweet car. A child is forever but your youth will leave ya when you have a child. good luck.

Answer 5

Honey, you may love him, but you're both still kids. Have fun being young while you can. Babies aren't just cute little bundles of love, they're a LOT of work. Party, have fun, save up money...don't have babies yet. Wait until you're at least old enough to vote. Don't you go to school? If not, finish school. What seems like a lot of money now, won't seem like so much once you have doctor bills to take care of. My husband and I make over $40,000 a year, and we still struggle sometimes. You need health insurance to pay for well-baby checks, and for when the baby gets sick. You also need it for while you're pregnant, so you can have a healthy baby. To have a baby at a hospital without health insirance costs over $10,000, and that's if nothing goes wrong. A car seat costs $80 or more, you need a stroller. Honey, you're not ready. Wait a few years, then do it.

Answer 6

At 14 and 16 it's not a good idea to have a child. You have your whole lives ahead of you, and plenty of time to have children. You're going to have to give up everything. You'll have to wake up multiple times during the night to feed and care for your baby. You'll have all the responsibilities of a child and nothing fun for yourself. You two don't have enough life experience to be handling this kind of thing. I don't even know if this question is real. And why would your mother let you move out at 15? That's the last thing my mother would have done.

Answer 7

How cute you look on your myspace. But still look rather young.. so where in Cali did you elope? And your parents will have to sign over there legal rights in order for you to move out at 15. There are so many things to consider with a child. And at 14 and 16.. I just do not see why you would want that.. when you could wait till you are at least a legal age like 18.

Answer 8

23 bags of diapers, why??? the first stage diapers only last for a few weeks. baby food, my son wont eat baby food for a year!
you are not ready at 15 no matter waht you bought. you need to live a little, go to jamiaca or hawaii. travel or go to college. what will that baby think of you, and i think the hardest part of being a teen parent is being a teen. its hard hard hard! im 17 i was 16 and pregnant and we thought we were ready too. i dont sleep, i do all the work (even though my then boyfriend promised to take care of us in a million ways), i hardly have time to clean or eat. my body is horrid. my back hurts all the time. i was a ball of evergy before i had my son. now i begg my husband to give me like a 30 minute break.
dont get me wrong i love having my son, but i wish i would have waited until i was like 20 or so. it sounds like a long time but you wont regret your decision. this is your boyfriend of 5 years and i understand you love him but you are only 14, as much as it might hurt to hear, you might not be with this guy for ever. once they get like 18 they are total dipshits! lol. marriage is a lot harder with a baby. it seems thats all we argue about anymore. i hope this helps.


there is somthing else i wanted to tell you, i have been thinking of you lately. i want you to kno whtat once you move in with you boyfriend you will see a whole side to him that you never knew. give ita year at least of getting used to each others little quarks. i thought i was deadly in love with my husband untill we moved in together adn now i think he is trying to drive to to sucide!! when its your own house and bills to pay its harder to communicate adn money becomes the main issue. even though my husband is military we still argue over money, getting things and things for the baby. its a HUGE step and you cannot take it back. be sure you get a rutoine down with your boyfriend when you move in together. get a pet first too, becasue if you cannot handle the responsibility of a pet (shot bills, food, feeding, water, walking, playing) then you will have a really hard time with a baby. i wish the best for you and if you nedd any further information my email isnt hard to figure out....just "guess"

Answer 9

It's nice that you two are so mature and all, but you have your whole lives ahead of you. Take vacations together and see the world. Babies are great, but enjoy yourselves first for a bit longer; things change a lot when you have kids. Don't get me wrong, the changes are good, but take advantage of the time you have together now. Take some trips!!!
My husband and I were married for almost 6 years before we had kids, and the waiting was probably the most fun I've ever had in my life. We went on a lot of vacations to places we had never been before. It really was a adventure. I wish you a lot of luck.

Answer 10

You're 14. Go see your doctor FIRST to make sure your body is developed enough to have a child. It sounds like you have some of the elements you'll need, but I really am concerned about your age. Babies born to mothers whose bodies may not be fully matured will have serious developmental issues. Get checked, then go from there.

As for the material possessions, they are important, but you won't need most of what you have for the first year. You need diapers, formula, clothes/blankets, and a place for him/her to sleep. Other than that, babies need your attention more than they need "things" for quite a while.