Normal to??

Question

Have lost sextual attraction to your husband after only 2 yrs of marriage ie i have a harder time becoming turned on?I am 26 he is 27.

We have alot of issues in our relationship but i have never heard of that taking away sextual attration?

Sex is till okay i guess but i usually have to think of something else?

Answer 1

Yes it happens. and yes it's normal. Marriage is not all fun and games, you need to work hard to keep the spark alive. Try and rekindle your romance with date nights, couple's massages in spa, romantic weekends getaways, or renting a movie and staying in. Try couple's counselling if you see the problem run deep, You might just be going through a temporary rough patch in your relationship.

Answer 2

Actually the same thing happend to me, but in the first year of our marriage. People told me it was due to unresolved issues...but I didn't believe then, I have had issues in relationships before but the sex was still good.

But as it turns out it was due to issues and bad feelings of needs unmet and such. I have decided in my heart to forgive more often and see him for the beautiful man he is.

I think it takes time...I think it take communication. I think it also has to do with building the mood. And trying new things...or a least changing things up a bit. Talking sweetly and sexy during the day. Touching and kissing for longer periods of time. We had to stop being lazy. I had to tell him what I liked even though I was embarrased.

Good luck.

Counseling might help. Or just talking about it in a non-acusitory tone...don't think making him think he is unattractive to you...will make sex better...nope.

Answer 3

Hopefully it's not a case where you're "just not into him anymore". That would obviously effect your sex drive, big time.

If that's not the case, then issues in your relationship will definately effect your sexual attraction. Stability, happiness, confidence, love, friendship, attractiveness and communcation all effect your sexual desires.

Libido is a very complicated subject. It can also be a hormonal imbalance or change and requires a doctor that specializes in that.

Maybe he needs to try harder to romance you. You need to have date nights. Go out dancing and be flirty with each other. Have a nice diner out, no rush, have a couple glasses of wine.

You're still young and really need to figure this out, because even at 45 years old, the man still wants it! Is it the complications in your relationship, did you fall out of love, or does he need to romance you?

Answer 4

You pretty much answered your own question. Relationships go beyond sexual attraction and many times what happens outside of the bedroom can influence what happens in the bedroom. If you two aren't talking or are arguing alot, your desire to have sex can go down.

Your lack of desire for your husband has nothing to do with your age or the amount of time you have been married. You will need to resolve your issues and then your attraction for him should return. You two may need counseling if you want to stay together and aren't able to resolve your issues on your own.

Answer 5

in my marriage it was a sign of a bigger problem. it turns out for me that love and sex go hand in hand. the more i care for the person the more i want them sexually. which means the more upset i was with my husband, the lower my sex drive. if you can solve the other issues, you may find him attractive again. for me, i got a divorce. suddenly i have a sex drive for the first time in almost 8 years.

Answer 6

Actually sex is commonly one of the first things to falter in a marriage when there are other unresolved issues/emotions.

Resolve those issues and emotions and the sex drive will come back.

Answer 7

If you have been eating the same cereal every morning for the last 2 years you would have to spice it up or get sick of it. You can't stick to the same old moves and expect it to do it for you.

Try something different in the bedroom to make you hot again.

Answer 8

having alot of 'issues' can definitely affect your sex drive or attraction- stress!! it sometimes happens that couples fall into the same routine and begin to get complacent. make an effort to spice things up and try something new- dvds, toys, and even lingerie can do the trick.
good luck!

Answer 9

maybe you guys werent ment to be i mean people get divorced almost everyday some people feel they werent committed to it and that they were tired of the person . If u r talkn that your husband is not hott anymore there is nothing u can really do .

Answer 10

Sounds to me like hes dead in bed Maybe get some X movies and teach him what a woman wonts