i am still student although few months from now i would be graduating. a night had happened since one of my group mate in a hospital duty, that sex thing went on. after a week, the girl started to call me up and saying that her expected period has missed.. i told not to panic because she is maybe delayed two days after her actual period, but it isn't. she has been delayed for 3 weeks now, and she called me up again saying that she maybe is pregnant..
man i cant think about any option or abortion (no way!).. but to tell her to continue the pregnancy.. for me, this is unwanted because i have no feelings for her, she seduced me and we were both drunk. man im really guilty about it. about the girl, she is 4 years older than me (im 20 and she's 24), and she has her first child with another man, but she's not with her child and that guy at present, she told me her story about that guy having another relationship, it lets me think she just hve done it to me bec. of rebellion. pls help! =(
2007-02-13 09:00:22 · 17 answers · asked by kent101 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Please don't even try to pass the blame off on her that she "seduced" you and the drunk excuse, please. This is 50/50 in the responsibility department. You need to take responsibilty as to where you are sticking your member. Next time I suggest you use protection or better judgement. This child will resent you if you are not in their life, it does not mean you need to continue a romatic or partner/relationship with this lady, but you will need to be there for your child and pay support and if you have an class at all you will be in this childs life. Please don't give the lady grief, act civil, if you have made a baby you will need to be on good terms with each other for the next 18 or 19 years. Good luck to you.
2007-02-13 09:40:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion would be to not ask her to have an abortion cause even tho you are not with her and you are still very young you will regret it in the end. Just let her have the baby and make her own choice whether she wants to keep the baby or put the baby up for adoption. We all make alot of mistakes but jsut remember that this is a gift and that you shouldnt look at it as a mistake but a gift. Things like this happen for a reason and u should really think about this. You may not want the baby at this time but later on in life if something was to happen that you are not able to have a child and this is the only chance you get then you will really regret it and you would always wonder what might have been.
2007-02-13 09:11:46 · answer #2 · answered by Betty S 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude-
Sounds like you gotta problem! Ya need to remember how she may be feeling also at this time. I think you both need to sit down and talk about this situation. Try suggesting giving the baby up for adoption. She obviously is not in any position to mother a child if she doesn't even take care of the one she has so I'm sure she would consider the idea. She can even look for adoptive parents now before the aby is born. There are a WHOLE lot of couples who can not have their own who would love to help you guys. Try contacting an adoption lawyer sometimes they have a list of couples waiting. Good luck.
2007-02-13 19:11:04 · answer #3 · answered by christian_k1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no matter what her motive was you did it and now you have a baby. I would get a paternity test when the baby is born but you really should do the right thing and help support the baby and be in its life. If the girl is messed up like you say then the baby could benefit from having a dad like you in its life. This is a tough place to be but just focus on the baby and have protected sex from now on till you are ready to be a dad. Sex is not about love. Good luck!
2007-02-13 09:23:18 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should have thought about that before you screwed it in , wanted or not buddy, if it is yours, she can take you to court ,and you will have to pay support. you can not be made to be a part of the child's life ,but you will pay , as far as the seduced part you are a grown man ,did she force you to get it on ,at gun point or threaten your life ,if she did you would have been scared ,and if a man is scared it will not rise to the occasion, I think if you are 20 , and that stupid you should slap your momma ,and daddy....then start working to pay for your child...No matter what her motive was ..You stuck it in there ,and went skeet,skeet, as far as being drunk that is bull you are 20 years old so you done this while breaking the law (drinking underage) that helps her to show the Judge how careless and irresponsible you are (more support for her) Beside I have drank myself sober ,and still have knowledge of the night before ,saying "I was drunk is a cowards excuse" if you were not being irresponsible in the first place you would not be where you are now...would you .. If alcohol is that bad to you, to make you that stupid have enough common sense to leave it alone, Jesus Christ man all it takes is common sense if you brought up with any
2007-02-13 09:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least you don't want her to abort it...If you don't think she can take care of a child, maybe adoption would be an option? If she's not willing to do that, you'll just have to grit yout teeth and "take it like a man" so to speak. It IS your child, after all. Just because you don't love the mother doesn't mean you won't love the child. This kid could turn out to be the best thing to happen to you. Good luck!
2007-02-13 09:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be there when she takes the test and then you two should have a long long talk about what's best for the baby if it comes to that. Many people rasised kids in seprate homes before it's hard but they try. Also she doesn't have her first child she might not won't this one maybe she'll sign the child over to you after she has it. It sounds like you won't the baby so I woun't meantion adoption.
Good-Luck to you both!!!
2007-02-13 09:18:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think itz better to take a pregnancy test for her. She should be pregnant for sure as she missed her period by 3 weeks. Just relax and think about your situation and explain it to her what ur plans are and what are you expecting. I think you are too young to have a baby. But you may start thinking of what are your future plans and what you planned to do in your life after graduation and you both come to an understanding and goahead from there. Go according to your practical situation as there is nothing more you can do about this. whatever you do, do it if you are 100% confident in yourself. Think and try to solve it. Don't panic.
2007-02-13 09:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anna 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 20 years old, you are a man, she is a woman, you are young, you drink, you have sex over and over again. That is just nature, but you have to be carfull. You can't bail now, sit down and talk to her. If you realy don't have fealings for her you don't have to be with her. That baby is going to need a dad, so keep in touch with it. Ask her about her keeping the baby and you paying child support. Next time you have sex when you are drunk, make shure you have a condum or the girl takes a pill
2007-02-20 05:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by amandaco45 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a paternity test to make sure it is your baby. Then if it is be a man and take care of your child . Who knows maybe you and the girl might start to like each other ?
2007-02-13 09:18:36 · answer #10 · answered by sis 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋