haha okay im only 14 so this might sound like stupid teenage poetry so the feedback might be best if it comes from someone who uses cute little quotes a lot...but just tell me what you think;
It's been said that the human heart is very weak and selfish
When in fact it's the most strong and generous
Because it can be crushed, ripped in half,
And torn into pieces
And through all of that, it still keeps [you] alive
okay feedback please? good? bad? i just need to know
2007-02-13 08:47:28 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
speaking as a poet, i belive the concept has potential, but the manner in which you display it needs much refining. try looking for a steady rythm to work from and work on it like a puzzle, getting all the words to fit right on all sides.
2007-02-13 08:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by avemaria 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Beautiful.
2007-02-13 16:50:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really love it. It's cute, short, sweet, and to the point.
Plus it tells about human nature.
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2007-02-13 16:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by ♠Gotham♠ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like it very cute
2007-02-13 16:52:22 · answer #4 · answered by kittykat09kathy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like it, but i think the last line needs to be reworded a bit
2007-02-13 16:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by currious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not too bad. Keep writing. Even if people tell you your stuff sucks, keep writing.
2007-02-13 16:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by somathus 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to shorten it somehow, but it's actually better than I expected.
2007-02-13 16:50:43 · answer #7 · answered by Trapdoor 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like it,tho it could use a lil rewording ;)
2007-02-13 17:09:59 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very insightful!!! I love it!!!!
2007-02-13 16:50:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
lame
2007-02-13 16:50:17 · answer #10 · answered by thuglife 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋