We dated for 4 years (off and on). For nearly 2 years we have lived together. We have been engaged for about 5 months now. I live very far from my family and miss them. There is no way we could move there due to his job circumstances. (He is not willing to relocate either.)
He isn't very "sensitive." He says he tries, but he wasn't raised that way. Well, I was, & it hurts me that I don't get treated "right." Then sometimes he is plain rude to me. like last night I hit my leg on our coffee table and it really hurt. (it's bruised and swollen today - my leg, I mean). And he just told me that I needed to watch where I was going. Didnt ask if I was okay or anything.
I want to go back to school & he is making a big deal like I have to continue working full time.. and it will be so hard for me to do that . If I left him, I could manage without working because my dad's paying my tuition (I'm young still - 20).
But I think about our lives & what we have going we have.. I'm so torn
2007-02-13 07:40:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it sounds like you've already made up your mind. Enjoy your life and get LOTS of education before you make a decision to settle down.
2007-02-13 07:46:47 · answer #1 · answered by Give life. Be an organ donor! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough decision. I know you two have been together for a long time, but 4 years isn't that long when it's compared with the rest of your life if you marry him. You'll have to think about that really carefully, whether you can spend the rest of your life with someone who you say isn't that sensitive. Think about how you'll feel if he treats your children the same way he treats you.
Also, I think it's really important for you to continue your education. Even if you got married and he supported you at first, what if you get to a point where you have kids and he gets hurt or even killed and can't look after you anymore? It will be much better for you to have a college degree so that you can get a higher paying job in case you ever have to support both of you on your salary. If he isn't willing to support you in that, I think you should leave him for now, move back close to your family, and go to school there. Maybe after you've finished school you two will get back together, but either way you will be better prepared to look after yourself.
2007-02-13 07:49:08 · answer #2 · answered by cg17 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lopsided relationship won't work out. You are in this for the wrong reason. You are supposed to be in love when you marry. If you were, you wouldn't be having this conversation. You can't even hardly tolerate the man. If the relationship is going smoothly in the beginning, then it is right. I was advised not to buy shoes that I have to 'break in'. And yes, you are too young to be in a committed relationship. You still have to go to school and get some wisdom. You deserve much better. DUMP HIM. He is a brat and major controller.
2007-02-13 07:50:11 · answer #3 · answered by The Rabbi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You should leave him if you are unhappy. You know in your heart the smart thing to do. College is a great place to meet new people and grow into a functioning adult. There are a plenty of fish in the sea (and sensitive too)! A man who is sensitive to your needs is very important in a good relationship. One thing I have learned about people and especially men, you CANNOT change them. You always have the option of reuniting with your fiance after college if you choose. I think you already know what to do.
2007-02-13 08:09:49 · answer #4 · answered by Junebug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like an extremely selfish person. And if he doesn't treat you right now - he never will. Get out now. You already know the answer to this question. Follow your gut feelings. Leopards don't change their spots unless they want to and he sounds like someone that wouldn't give an inch for anyone. GO!!!! You deserve someone who will look out for you too!!!
2007-02-13 08:58:53 · answer #5 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys dont even remotely sound compatible and like you said you are so young. He sounds like a control freak and I say you should go be near your family and go to school. Drop this guy that may run your life forever. You have plenty time for love and marriage...go get that education!!!
2007-02-13 07:46:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you are just not mature enough, and there is too much going on with him. Finish your schooling, get a career started, moving out on your own independently, and get a taste of reality with paying rent, bills, etc. You will grow and mature, and learn a lot about the world.
Get out of his life before you get pregnant, then have a whole other kettle of fish to deal with.
2007-02-13 08:43:32 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if dated on and off for 4 years , lived together for 2 and now engaged. your only 20 years old. if he doesnt respect who you want to be then hes not the right one for you. and hes not sensitive ouch....follow your heart sweetie. he sounds controlling too .. good luck
2007-02-13 07:50:27 · answer #8 · answered by kwalla0003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget him and go back to school. doesn't sound like a very stable relationship anyway. if he's rude to you now it'll only get worse. It never gets better. He doesn't really care about your wants it sounds like, but he want you to do what he wants right? he doesn't want to meet you half way? leave him all the way.....
2007-02-13 07:47:51 · answer #9 · answered by Hi its me again 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you would be happier away from him and you need close to your family in case your parents gets sick and you could go back to school with no one telling you not too if your not happy now it would be 100 persent worse if you marry him you'll never be able to see your family much and you would regret it if your parents passed away if thier living my mother died when i was 18 she had cancer she was only 42 im 58 now
2007-02-13 07:51:41 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋