My dad is more combative than he used to be, any suggestions?

Question

My old man has always been a combative type. He's always on the offensive, accusing people of this and that, pointing out shortcomings, and the like. He generally means to do right, but often times his temper gets the best of him and he gets angry at little things. This seems to be getting worse with age. He also chews my mom out quite a bit. He's never laid a hand on her and he doesn't directly insult her or use profanity, but I think she's had it with his shenanigans. She never used to stand uip for herself, but she has started and now the old man is more combative than ever and feels victimized if my sister or I stand in her corner. Anyone got any advice? I'm not sure how to deal with him. He just told us that maybe he'll just leave us all because we think he's such a nasty guy. The thing is that he isn't. He just tends to get nasty here and there. I'm 29 btw, so the kids are all grown up. But I'd like to try and help the situation somehow. Intelligent responses only please.

Answer 1

ok, so old man isn't really nice, but you also call him dad, so I won't go into it. Maybe your dad has an undiagnosed personality disorder? Maybe paranoid personality disorder or something like that? Also, it could be a sign of Early disease like Alzheimer's or something like that. I would start with him getting an exam, both physical (be sure to mention his personality changes) and mental. It may be something as simple as the early warning signs of a disease, or it may be your father's reaction to your mom "changing the rules" on him by her standing up to him and asserting herself. People can act pretty badly when "house rules" change, especially when they have always bent towards his favor and now (all of a sudden) he doesn't get to just tromp on people and has to be accountable. It is probably a shock to him that your mom even had it in her! If that is the case, then seeing a therapist may be a good idea (probably marital). Good luck, I think it is great that you care so much about your parents !- dd

Answer 2

That's an overly difficult query. I needed to do the identical factor with my father, even though he was once a lot more complicated with dementia than your father, from what you wrote. My dad was once disillusioned for an afternoon after which forgot he had a vehicle. I donated the vehicle to a charity organization. Leaving him w/o transportation, above all if he loves his track gambling such a lot, could mainly be devastating for him. Have a middle to middle speak with him, might be within the presence of his health practitioner once more (no longer the police -too threatening) and notice if he'll agree. Assure him he'll have transportation to and from his gigs. I fully grasp how you'll be apprehensive approximately his using, however from what you've got stated it seems like he isn't that a long way long gone but. Again, it is a elaborate predicament, and I fully grasp totally. If he's in a position to "placed on an act", he is nonetheless lovely top functioning.

Answer 3

You call him you "old man" and you are 29 years old. I think you can start by maturing and calling him your father.

I'd be more then a bit combative if my son talked the way you did to me or about me. But then I'm trying to raise my son to be a good MAN, not a boy. Maybe your dad is pissed off that he failed.