Should I go to my dad's wedding, the women he's marring is BARELY an acquaintance??

Question

My parents have been split up for as long as I can remember, they finalized the divorce. Then after Christmas my aunt (dads sister) accidently told my brother & me that my dad is getting married in July. She said my dad didn't want to call us cause he didn't want to talk to my mom. He has both of our cell phone numbers, and he saw us on Thanksgiving and Christmas (plently of time to tell us himself.) My cousin & I are really close and we were talking about it, apparently she's known about for a LONG time, she said she found out a while before Thanksgiving. So basically my whole family has been leaving my brother and me in the dark about the whole situation. We didn't even receive invitations and there is a set date. I live in Missouri & he lives in Oklahoma which is were the wedding is taking place. I really don't want to go. My grandparents are gunna give me a hard time about it cause he's my dad. Although he's never been there like a dad should. Should I go?

The only reason I don't want to go is because he neglected to tell me or invite me to his wedding & I've only met Jeana (don't even know how to spell her name*don't care*) 2 or 3 times. She seems nice but I know her pretty much as well as I know my dad. Everyone is gunna give me crap if I don't go just because he's my dad. Still think I should go?

Answer 1

Well dear girl it's not about your Dad's feelings. He didn't take yours and your bothers feelings into consideration. Oh, honey my girls go through the same think with their loser Dad. I divorced him 11yrs. ago for Domestic Violence. He's been married about three times other than me. My girls see him twice a year. Seems like every year he's getting married he's JOKE. I know he is your father but, if he's never been there like a Father should've. I don't blame you and brother for not going to the wedding. I sure as HELL wouldn't go they left you and bother in the dark and he didn't invite ya'll. Beacuase he didn't want to talk to your Mom. Lame excuse you and brother have your cell phones. Why in the world would he think that he was gonna talk to your mom. Once he lies he has to cover up one with another and will repeat it and do it again. Your grandparents have no right to judge you and your brother. You would think by now they would ashamed of his behavoir. This about you and your bothers diginity and pride. The hell with what anyone thinks. You and your are old enough to make your choices. I wouldn't attend. I'm sorry but you two deserve more respect from your father. Take care of your MOM I'm sure it's hard her. Bless ya'll!

Answer 2

Yeah, I would do it! Wedding's can be fun if you know some people who are going to be there. Also, you can try and meet some new ladies! Tell 'em you're a level 7 on Y!A, that will certainly get them. :P I've gone to weddings with friends for someone I don't even know. Only the reception, though.

Answer 3

If he had invited you, I would say yes, go, because if you don't that can't be undone and it might make it impossible to have a better relationship later.

But if you didn't receive invitations from your dad or the bride, then you're not invited. You shouldn't go. It doesn't matter if your grandparent's give you a hard time - they are in the wrong if they do so. It would not be proper to go uninvited.

If I were you, I would just send your dad a short note telling him you've heard that he is marrying and congratulating them. I know you probably don't feel that way really - but I really believe that times like this when people are acting really rudely (and it is very rude of him not to invite you) that having good manners is most important.

I think you should definitely follow your first reaction and stay away from this one. Good luck!

Answer 4

You & your brother need to call your dad and tell him you want to see him to discuss his wedding, Then you can ask him "why the big secret? why were we not included?" I don't know how old you are but you sound young. I think also your feelings are very hurt, which is natural.I've noticed alot of the answers to your problem say just forget him, who cares. I am 50 years old and my mom died when I was 21 years old and my Dad at when I was 27. I never had to carry around any guilt as we are and were then a very close family. So call your Dad. And if your Mom and him don't speak don't let them get involved together on what you and your brother need to do. Good luck

Answer 5

I think the first thing you should do is speak to your dad about how you feel. He was obviously worried about how you and your brother would react. These separations, divorces and weddings can be a tough thing to deal with especially when children are involved. Tell your dad that you are hurt by him not telling you and that you would be happy for him and happy to go if he had been honest with you in the first place. I think you should go, hes your dad and you may be angry/hurt now but you will get over this and then it will be too late. You only get one dad so make the most of it. Dont be angry with the rest of your family, its not there responsibility to tell you and they obviously felt awkward so preferred not to mention it. I think you and and your brother should have a big heart to heart with him and make sure he feels that he can talk to you in the future. Once you have told him how you feel, you'll feel better about the situation. You'll have to be the adult in this situation and show your dad that your old enough to deal with and handle these things. Good luck

Answer 6

Before you make any decision why don't you call your father and ask him why is getting married and why the whole family knows before you and your brother found out. Make you decision based on that conversation. If you are a little hesitant to call your father, talk to your mother. Maybe she can shed a little light. Don't assume the worst until you hear it from the horses' mouth. What you are going thru right now is down right unpleasant, but this is all hearsay until your father says to you "I don't want you at my wedding". Unless something ugly happened with your parent's divorce which you would make him think you would be angry, you need to speak to your father.

Good luck and I hope everything turns out well.

Answer 7

No, you don't need to go and it may be silly to go.

He's not a dad in that he hasn't been around you. That doesn't make him a bad man, it is just a fact. Likewise you can wish him well, it is polite and it sounds like you have no reason not to.

Remember, build a good relationship when it is that time. Children hate being divorced and both your parents messed up in one way form or another. All the garbage that the kids are better off from a divorce is a selfish lie to make irresponsible parents feel better and not have to face up to what they did to their kids. As you see its not and that is just a fact. Take it as a lesson learned for your future.

Answer 8

i'm basically going through the exact same thing, my dad's getting married in december and i don't know if i should go or not, my brother had to tell me and i haven't seen my dad in about 2 months or somethin, i got told that i could go but i would have to make my own way there by 3 trains, ferry and a bus. i understand how you're feelin, i asked a question similar to yours a couple of days ago and what i learned was that you need to address the situation and talk to your dad about it, why all the secrecy?. And do you really wanna go?that's the real question.

Answer 9

GO to your dad's wedding. He needs family all the family support possible.
As far as the invitations are concerned, they are not mailed out MONTHS IN ADVANCE but just a few weeks.
Why is your family 'leaving you in the dark'. Your old enough to understand and they are being unfair to you and your brother.
Go to the Wedding, have a good time and make Dad feel good about having his son(s) present.

Answer 10

If your father does not even care enough to call you and your brother and invite you, then I see no reason to go. Ignore what others may say, when they ask just simply say "Dad Never asked us too". That should be the end of it..