why is marriage so hard?

Answer 1

My wife & I live in Atlanta, and we just found out this weekend that Braves' pitcher John Smoltz and his wife are divorcing after 16 years or marriage. We both had the same reaction: it would suck to start all over again after so much time! We have been married for 20 years, and we feel like all the hardest work is behind us. Life is good, our relationship is comfortable, we like talking and spending time together. It's great.

Answer 2

because marriage is a give and take thing. You get out of it whatever you put into it. You both need to work together to accomplish the same goals. If you work against each other then you are bound for divorce court. Marriage involves a lot of compromise and if you have children then it requires even more compromise. There are going to be problems and troubles but nothing that the 2 of you cant work out if you both want to. A good marriage is based on love,trust, and communication without those 3 ingredients you donr have much for a marriage

Answer 3

Life, in general, takes work. Marriage, like a lot of other things, takes teamwork, and if you spend too much time together, you're gonna get on each others' nerves, so you gotta know when to back off and give each other space and when to be there for each other.

That's the best case scenario that assumes you don't have massive character flaws and poor conflict resolution capabilities.

If you're marriage sucks, chances are you are 50% of the problem and that's why you have the partner you have. Weak partners attract each other. But you can get stronger ... with or without each other... if you try.

Answer 4

Marriage builds character. On a daily basis. You must not look at the relationship as "He & I', look at it at "us" or "we". When you get married you become one with the other person - in mind, body & spirit. The decisions & choices that you make must be for the best interest of both of you. Men need respect more than anything - including love. Respect your man & he will give you the love you need. Forgiveness is very important too - in marriage there is no room for holding grudges! What's the point? You will just make your life miserable & he is usually totally oblivious that there is even a problem. Again, marriage builds character. Conflict + Christ = Character. Marriage was designed by God. He created it. If you want to get it right - do it His way.

Answer 5

It isn't!!!! Marriage is lovely, it is the only way to live.... The question you need to ask, and find out, is why is it that you are not a good partner??? Marriage is respect, admiration, passion, and trust...the four biggies. If the trust goes, the rest of it is in the toilet. Betrayal is the real deal-buster in a marriage. But marriage is also kind words, solving problems without rage, learning to communicate without accusing, putting your partner's wishes before your own... And sometimes, it is shutting the hell up, too. If you think swinging is normal, affairs are normal, physical abuse to children is normal, you come to a marriage with tons of baggage... And if you marry someone with all this baggage, and knew of it and married them anyway, you're just asking for problems.....

If you or he came from a background of fighting parents, alcohol abuse, drug abuse, unkempt home, no moral ethics yadadada, then that is all you know, and think it normal... and then of course finding common ground, and selfishness is all you know, and the relationship crumbles....

So, hon, marriage isn't hard if what you bring to a marriage is a positive attitude, lots of your own hobbies, marry someone of like race, religion, ethics, politics, and are good and wise at compromise without resentment.

Answer 6

Marriage is definitely hard. I would say that it's worth keeping if you know that the person definitely loves you and I mean know that without a shadow of a doubt in your mind. If this happens, I believe that you can work through anything. However, if that person doesn't love themselves or doesn't love you as much as you love them, that's when your problems begin to set in. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 7

Marriage isnt hard, the people in it, make it hard. As long as the lines of communication are open, there are no secrets, things will be fine. My husband is my best friend, we laugh together, we do everything together.
Marriage is only as rough as the people trying to master it, kick back and have fun w/ it.....that's what God intended

Answer 8

It's a lot of work and people don't realize it when they get married. No marriage is ever perfect, people expect things to always be rosy and sweet, but it isn't. A good marriage is two people who love each other enough to get through the tough times and not give up.

Answer 9

Probably because at least one of you is stubborn or selfish and more interested in yourself then you are in your mate and in what is moral and right. Maybe both of you is like this. Marriage is suppose to be a coming together, where you are each as concerned if not more concerned about the other than you are yourself and you own wants all the time.

Marriage is about giving of yourself and thinking of the other person. It is about doing your part properly.

Answer 10

Because you've got 2 different people, from 2 different backgrounds, with 2 different perspectives and experiences on life living together. It takes a lot of hard work to take those 2 different views on everything, and build a team of 2 people who are united in purpose. But it's definitely worth it, no doubt about it.