He always says he is not the romance type. And he says he doesn't like to buy me flowers bcoz flowers die and he doesn't like giving things that die.
~I am tired of doing all the romantic things my self. When is it going to be my turn to be pampered and romanced?
Any suggestions?
Thanx :-)
2007-02-13 06:15:47 · 7 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've already tried lingere. And i've even tried sitting down with him and giving him my definition of romance many times. We've married for 4 years now and nothing seems to work.
2007-02-13 06:25:27 · update #1
Mr. JW,
If anyone has changed in my marriage....it has been me. And I am not asking for him to change. I was merely wondering how to bring back the way he used to be when we first met. ~Thank You!
2007-02-17 05:34:21 · update #2
I really feel for you, my hubby is the same way i've read some of the others advice and one thing is true , if we based everything on sex that's what he gonna want out of you for the rest of your married life sees you just as a sex symbol with no romantic feelings I have to be the one also to be romantic he says it because i watch the soaps but that was in the past men are all about visual and getting him satisfied first we are sex slaves and they don't know how to romantize. reap what you sow. i guess.
2007-02-13 07:54:37 · answer #1 · answered by bustnloose_2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds to me like he just doesn't want anything to do with romance... perhaps you both should go to marriage counceling...if he doesn't want to go, then go by yourself...perhaps he or she could give you some tips on getting him to be more romantic. also, perhaps you should tell him, how it makes you feel when he doesn't even TRY to be romantic. simple gestures can go a long way...he doesn't need to give grand gestures. tell him the least he could do is make an effort, since you have been the one doing all the romancing so far. I hope you are not offended by this, but even the bible speaks about being romantic with one another. giving each other hugs throughout the day, and kisses for no reason. giving flowers, or even a simple telephone call from work to each other and saying "I just wanted you to know, I was thinking about you,and wanted to say I love you" would be nice. you have to do things like that to keep a marriage going. sorry I'm rambling, but I think your hubby should put more effort into your marriage. its not fair that you do all of it on your own.
2007-02-13 06:41:31 · answer #2 · answered by tweetybird37406 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have some suggestions for you. Make sure you give him good reason to feel that way toward you. That is a good start.
Next, consider this please. I am sure it will sound rude to you, but please think about it a bit. Women always have this idea that a man should change for them? Why? What makes you women think you get to demand that of us? A vagina? What makes you worth that much for the most part? Just because you want something or expect it doesnt obligate us to give it or do it anymore then you think our requests do of you. Just think of what you hear from women. They are mad if a guy wont change. They are mad if he does change. Dang, females are never happy.
You married him the way he is, so stop trying to change him. He has a right to be who he is, just as you say for yourself, right?. At least you had the honest and real him to start with. If you still said I do, that is on you.
Be happy that you got a basically good man. I bet you arent terribly ready to become everything he wants all the time, so dont think he should have to either for you.
2007-02-13 06:37:02 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
it depends on what type of romantic gesture you want to many of us have fallen in to the trap of thinking flowers and candy are the only ways to express romance (thank you T.V and Movies) but he may do many things that you don't realize are romantic my husband for example will sit and watch "my" shows with me sometimes like Gilmore girls or even a soap opera he will ask a question or if i seemed surprised about something he will listen as i explain the back story does he really care "no" but i am a stay at home mom and so what happened on Oprah is what i do have to talk about so he listens asks questions, when my shoes untied he will stop tell me to put my foot on his knee and tie it for me he remembers i like a fork with my ice cream and all ways makes sure i have one even at his moms house when we leave the house i grab the kids jackets and he gets mine or i will forget and so many other little things, so is it flowers or candy no but its his romantic way so try and see his ways and you might be very surprised at what you see!
2007-02-13 06:29:02 · answer #4 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hate to say but you might be waiting awhile. Just show him what the advantages of being romantic are. like great sex all night.
2007-02-13 06:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by sydb1967 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Suggest other things like chocolate and a card?
My father always brings home a balloon for my mom...
2007-02-13 06:19:25 · answer #6 · answered by pertinential 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One word- Lingerie!
2007-02-13 06:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋