Am I too selfish?

Question

Okay, so we all know that V-Day is coming up and I've been with my b/f for over two years. Im not really expecting a lot, I just really love the cliched valentine's gifts. I know my b/f is not rich and I am not expecting diamond jewelry or anything, but sometimes his gifts are a little cheap. Last year he got me a dozen roses from a fundraiser at his school. And I was fine with that, in fact I was thrilled because it was more than the usual one rose. Then when i got them they were kind of wilted and smooshed, I guess it was because the people who put them together weren't professional's. They died the next day. I was okay with that and I didn't say anything because I didnt want to hurt his feelings, this year he's getting me the same thing again from his school. I was really hoping to get daisies or some other type of flower from a aflower shop. I dont need the expensive $50 dollar rose bouquet, I just want something a little special. I found out that he bought me a $5 box of candy

I just we he would go the extra mile sometimes. I bought him a nice box of chocolates and a b-ball hat that he wanted to but, which was a little more expensive than the normal prices for those. Everytime I try to nicely brings it up and he just sighs and I think that he thinks I'm spoiled. I just want a little more when it comes to v-day. I'm not expecting him to spend a whole lot, just make it special. Am I too selfish?

I'm back again sorry. Some other things popped into my mind. I know that he doesn't have a lot of money. I would love to get balloons, or just a few flowers that he picked out and put together. It seems like he always tries to find the cheapest way to make me happy. This past Christmas he bought me a necklace because I really wanted jewelry for xmas. I was hoping for like real gold. He got me a necklace that was engraved, but it wasn't real, it was only 30 dollars. I know at the place he got it, he could have a gotten a rea gold one for like a hundred which is what he was planning on spending. I was happy with the present, but I wish that he would have gone the extra mile. He wanted a guitar amp for xmas that was 30 watts whih is kind of pricey. He has more money than I do and I saved up to buy it for him. It was 200 dollars. What do u guys think.

Hey again, okay so yea here is an answer to some of ur questions. He always asks for sexual pleasures and it gets on my nerves. Yes, on V-day i do get out the lingerie. Second I just dont want him to buy me something because he feels compelled. I guess I just want v-day to be special because every other day of the week he's busy with his school work from college. He's such a asweetheart though.

Answer 1

You're not spoiled, and you're not selfish. You're entitled to nice gifts, even if he can't afford expensive stuff, at least he could do is to put a little effort into that. What really bothers you is that his gifts don't come from the heart, isn't it?

Answer 2

First of all, when you say "I was fine with that," clearly you were NOT fine with that.

There is nothin wrong with wanting what you want, but it is wrong to rexpect it fom this guy. You and he don't think the same things are of the same importance. He is who he is, you can't change him, move on and find someone with the same values you have.

But look in themirror; men don't want chocolates or hats or presents like that. Did you give him what a man thiks is important? Did you put on some new lingerie, or do something else to mak him feel like the day is special in a way that matters to HIM?

Answer 3

That's a tough one.
It's not like he has tons of money and is being tight-fisted. That he is trying says a lot for him. I don't think you've been selfish but I think there has to be compromise. Perhaps you should do something together for special days and call it even. Going out to dinner and a movie should negate having to get individual gifts and flowers and cards because you are enjoying each other together.
Personally, my wife and I skip most holidays and show that we love each other every day.

Answer 4

Yes you are selfish. Stop thinking about yourself and what he can BUY you. My god, be thankful you have a boyfriend and that he does anything at all. Instead of complaining on how it's not what you would pick out or how it's not enough just say THANK YOU and be GRATEFUL. Valentines day is to express that you love someone, gifts are secondary. "Things" do not equate love.. once you realize that you will be able to appreciate being with someone.

Answer 5

Why do you need a boyfriend at all? I think your selfishness as you put it lies in wanting a boyfriend. Think in terms of getting married and having a family. Then you will look for someone who can support you and live a responsible life with you, not just exchange presents on V-day. Until that time, just have friends, not b/f's and think of a responsible future forever,not just about good times today.

Answer 6

I don't think you are being selfish. You are perhaps expecting more than he is able to give... but your expectations are not unreasonable.

You don't need to spend much or even any money to make an impression, and that seems to be what you are seeking. It is hard for men to understand this. My boyfriend spends too much money on me, but doesn't quite know how to show his affection or feelings in any other way.

I guess you really just need to analyse for yourself what you really want, and if the sentiments he isn't showing are that important to you, you need to just move on. It is impossible to change people unless they are willing to change themselves.

Answer 7

I don't think that you are being Selfish, but you just think that the gifts that he gets you arn't sentimental enough?

I assume, you'd prefer something like a way of telling you that he loves you. I mean that doesn't have to be expensive, but you will know that he cares...

Maybe to give him the idea, you just do something for him. Cheap in price, but really romantic!

Answer 8

no!
well actually i cant know bcuz it depends on how you act with him.

but i love presents too, dont we all? who doesnt have little forbidden thoughts and dreams. i understand u toally.

but i think, maybe try to forget it, after all its not that important, buy yourself somethign nice! try not to let those thoughts become words or actions.... maybe he'll appreciate your losing the pressure and take the hint anyway!!!!!!

good luck and happy valentines day!

Answer 9

Hey, at least he is thinking of you. Isn't it the thought that counts?