She always calls and she started to ask for money and he felt bad and almost gave in to her help I’m new at this. I hate her with a passion for all the wrong she did to him and I’m not good with expressing myself when it comes to this subject with him
2007-02-13 05:51:42 · 10 answers · asked by nikie_atkinson 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
they have no kids
2007-02-13 06:04:16 · update #1
Don't forget who you are.....and who she is....she's his ex....what ever happened in THEIR past is long gone, so don't dwell on something that used to be, it's over.....he has to toughen up and tell her NO and to tell her to stop bumming money and get her own, she should be in the past now, just see it like this...he's yours not hers, but do tell him that this money lending has to stop...he is not supposed to be supporting her any more, let her do it herself...be firm with him, you have to speak up, just tell him how you feel and to stop getting involved with her, she's an ex for a reason....your the lucky one, you still got him
2007-02-13 05:58:41 · answer #1 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I married my Ex he had been married 2 times before. His second Ex left him 11 months into the marriage without an explanation or reason (to him anyway) and moved from WV to FL. In our 4th year together I found phone bills and pictures of her and a little boy. I asked him if he had talked to her and he said "No" not in years. I was holding in my hand the phone bill, of hers mind you with our home number as well as his work number on it, and the pictures. I was dismayed, to say the least, hurt and angry that he lied to me when I thought our relationship was better than that. I just laid everything out on the table, packed a bag and the girls and I left, for 2 weeks the only person that knew where we were was my Grandparents and I'd told them just so no one would worry. When we talked (him & I) I found out that she had adopted the child right after she moved to FL and she wanted to move back to WV but needed money and he offered to pay all her bills for her but he would not give her any cash. He said through the phone calls and mail was the only contact he had with her and if it weren't for the child he wouldn't even have done that much. I took into consideration the type of person he was and could almost imagine what was said, but it still didn't ease my mind on the fact he lied to me about it when I had asked him outright. He thought I received a call from her that day I asked and claimed that was why he never admitted to any of the others. I try to tell everyone that just because you get away with something today doesn't mean you are off scott-free for life, it will come back to haunt you when you least expect it to. She did call a few years later, wanting more money and this time he told me when she called and why and he told her he was finished helping her.
2007-02-13 06:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what, take the high-road when talking about her or interacting with her. If you don't, it only makes you look like you can't handle her. Whether or not you can is beside the point.
Then, you need to grab your hubby and firmly tell him to deal with this woman. Tell him that you love and support him in anything he does, but that you don't want her intruding on your life together. Make him realize that HE is the only one who can resolve this issue with her. If he is ordered to pay her alimony, then he has to. If he was feeling sorry for her and she needs the money, then do it right and make a promissory note that is dated and notarized.
The ex probably has some issues that are making it hard for her to let go. Try to understand, but don't enable. When you pick a fight with her directly, or with your hubby indirectly, that will not solve anything. Maybe you get to vent a little, but you need a resolution. Your hubby has to close that door with her before he can open one with you.
Good luck!
2007-02-13 06:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by f8_smyled 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do they have children? He could pay child support. If they do not have children he has no business talking to her in the first place and you should in fact change your phone number to prevent the calls. If she comes over get a restraining order. It's your husband who is responsible for this intrusion and he should be the one to resolve the issue and tell her to but out she had her chance and blew it.
2007-02-13 05:58:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OJ took care of his exwife, maybe you could call him and ask for a copy of the book they didnt print.
2007-02-13 05:57:43 · answer #5 · answered by itzmedbd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remind him that it's you that will always be there for him and that she is playing him for a sucker. She wasn't happy before and he surely can't make her happy now.
2007-02-13 05:57:45 · answer #6 · answered by thomas m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they do not have minor children he shouldnt be talkin to her at all! If you want to be heard YOU Have to express yourself.
2007-02-13 05:55:50 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only if they have children does he need to give any money at all to her... your husband needs to make it perfectly clear to her that she is no longer welcome in his life and to stop calling him, she is not his responsibility any more, she is prolly jealous and knows it would cause problems for you if she carries on with this behaviour...
2007-02-13 05:55:50 · answer #8 · answered by merrpet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to nip this in the bud, if he has almost folded over this ,it means he has buttons she can still press tell him to cut her off !or its over trust me ,if he doesnt you have a lot of hassle ahead.... good luck
2007-02-13 06:02:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he keeps feeling for her, that he needs to go back to her.
2007-02-13 05:58:45 · answer #10 · answered by sirdoctorfine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋