on television where the guy proposes again in venice. we are just middle class people and we have 2 sons that we will need to put through college in 14 and 18 years respectively. my question is what the heck is she thinking? this isn't something middle class people do is it? i know paying for my kids college will be a struggle. isnt this a little impractical? do all women want things like this even when they have kids they will eventually need to put through college?
2007-02-13 05:51:40 · 16 answers · asked by Mark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think you'd have to spend the equivalent of a college education to get an anniversary band that would make your wife happy. In this day and age, 10 years is an accomplishment and a credit to both of you. Marriage is hard work, and looks like you two are working it! Find something that is affordable, that can be paid off in just a few years time (if you're buying on credit) and honor your marriage and your wife with an anniversary band of some kind. Don't break the bank, but be open and willing to do what you can without it hampering you guys current budget.
2007-02-13 05:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Marvelissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, my wife's the same, and I have no suggestions, other then to commiserate with the fact that most of the answers here don't even make sense. Layaway? Monthly payments? Its not that he can't buy it, its that every dollar spent on it is a dollar that _could_ have been put towards something more practical. It doesn't matter how many months its spread over, it costs what it costs.
I question how cheap a ring you could really buy as well. If the ring is a different material to her wedding ring, it will cause uneven wear. A 'smallish' ring of the sort my wife would like would probably come in around 3k, though what she'd really want would be 6 times that. She's not getting the latter, I'll think about the former. Two years away for me still.
By the way, if you haven't priced them, you should. It may not be as bad as you're thinking - an engagement ring with one biggish stone will be more than small stones all the way around. The anniversary band should not dwarf the engagement ring. Of course, if your wife is like mine she also likes to suggest she'd like a bigger stone for that. Meanwhile, we have no money :p
2007-02-13 07:19:53 · answer #2 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I come from a middle class family where my father often times found ways to purchase nice jewelry for my mother for holiday's, birthday's and especially for major anniversaries. They also put me through college and they did so using grants and specialized loans because although they saved, it wasn't enough to pay for my schooling completely. I also took out my own loans to help pay for school, like most children, as well as worked hard to obtain scholarships.
If you sat and thought about everything your wife does for you and your children without drawing any real attention to her actions, I bet her time and effort would be immeasurable and well worth the minor financial setback a ring would cause in the here and now.
What if you purchased a ring with synthetic diamonds (substantially lower cost) and told her that once the children were off at college and it seemed the future was financially secure, you would treat her to a ring with real stones?
2007-02-13 06:49:53 · answer #3 · answered by brephish 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I know I'm going to get the thumbs down for this but I also am approaching my ten year and would like a celebration ring while he also wants his ten year token. A marriage is alot of work and ten years is an acomplishment that should be symbolized. It doesn't have to be thousands of dollars but it should be special and what she wants. And using college as an excuse is unacceptable. You have years to pay for school if you have to do that. You are worried about middle class materalistic values then maybe you shouldn't pay for college sure it's fine for a parent to plan and help but aren't college age children adults who should be learning to pay their own way? You and your wife deserve to enjoy the hard work and finacial accomplishments that you achieved without worrying so much about what your children will need in 18 years.
2007-02-13 10:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Trisha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called layaway you can do it at most stores and walmart and you can find her something she will love and pay it over time now can you take her to Venice and do it no but you can still buy a nice ring and pay it off if you do it a head of time and yes a college education is important but i bet you have $40.00 or so you can squirrel away for the next year in a jar or something that she wont know about and then at the end of the year you would have close to $500.00 that what my husband did one year and it meant more to me then you will ever know not the ring but the thought that he thought a head found one he liked and planned a whole year to figure out a way to get it for me and so it could have been the smallest thing in the world but to me it was the best gift because he thought it through and found a way! find a good sale they have them all the time around v-day or in June and in may and then pay cash for it and she will love it and i don't think your children will be any worse off for it later for their mother getting a $500.00 ring its if you go and buy a $3,000.00 ring and make payments so its now a $5,000.00 ring with interest that is crazy but you can find a nice ring that like $800.00 then on sale for $500.00 and it will be very nice! so good luck!
2007-02-13 06:07:09 · answer #5 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only live once and there is Financial Aide and Grants to help with the kids college. Money should never be the issue. You have 14 and 18 YEARS to save that money and like I said there is help. Get her the ring, She shouldn't have to ask!!!!!
2007-02-13 06:10:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that she just wants a token of affection- 10 years of marriage SHOULD be a celebration!! I'm sure you could find something affordable that would make her happy, and not be a financial burden- most jewelry stores will give you a decent line of credit and monthly payments would be minimal. After 10 years of marriage and 2 wonderful sons, doesn't she deserve the best?
2007-02-13 06:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants a 10 year anniversary ring give her something simple one that does not cost so much. I have seen simple rings that cost anywhere from 45.00 (forty five dollars) to 99.00 (ninety nine dollars) and that way you are not going over board. let her know you still love her but you also did not want to dip into the children's college fund.. I hope she understands.. I am a woman and I do not need a ring to make me happy. because I know my man loves me. and I do not need materialistic things to have someone prove they love me.
2007-02-13 06:00:11 · answer #8 · answered by ladygodiva03111969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her about it, lovingly. If you have a negative point (we can't do this) start with positivity (I would love to...but). Try to make it her decision and lead her into making it: "We could do it, we could take out a loan, work more...but wouldn't you rather save the money for things we really need to have. I agree with you, but my advice is in HOW to make her changer her mind. I feel sorry for the middle class families that are told by advertising that they need to have material things. I'm sorry your wife has bought into that materialist lie. But you have to love her no matter what. Make sure she knows that you love her before you say "no".
2007-02-13 05:59:11 · answer #9 · answered by wassupmang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I purchased one for my wife. We're middle class, 4 kids, 1 income. Was something I wanted to do. And it wasn't that expensive.
2007-02-13 05:57:02 · answer #10 · answered by aj1964 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋