My sister in law is drivig me nuts! They have never been a 'picture of happiness' but no ones relationship is the same, so I didn't see any underlying problems. A few months ago she told her husband she wanted to seperate and did not want to work things out, he of course called his family upset and we have all been trying our best to help him out.
They are still living together, they just celebrated their wedding anniversary,I guess not 'celebrate' since she didnt even acknowledge it was any special day.
She is very manipulative and twists things around to make my mother-in-law upset & feeling guilty.
How can she just bring up seperation & continue living there pretending everything is fine?
Her husband is a very nice man but kind of a push over, she walks all over him, he still wants things to work out. I know this is their lives, but it is SO frustrating to see him so upset and not be able to help!
Any advice or in-law stories of your own?
2007-02-13 05:36:44 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I didnt think I was forcing anything?? She's just driving me nuts as she is so disrespectful and just using him, its painful to see someone you care about go through that....just needing to vent! jeeez people!
2007-02-13 05:43:00 · update #1
I too have a brother in law married to a manipulative b!**ch too and he cannot see through her. Just remember, every dog has its day, what comes around goes around. My mother in law has been torn to pieces many times as well and although it is painful to watch, he has to have his gut full of her before he calls it quits. My advice to you is to continue to be there for your brother in law. You are his family, if they divorce, you will still be connected to him--only. So respect his decisions and the time it takes to make them, in his own time. Mother knows best and she may wonder, but in her heart, your mother in law knows if she raised a good son or not, the guilt for her will fade. Just DONT bad mouth her to the rest of the family. Eventually, her true colors will SHINE!!!!!!!!!!! Good Luck
2007-02-13 05:58:47 · answer #1 · answered by notso_recoveringwino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound as though there may be things going on that outsiders including you aren’t aware of. Has he suggested that they go to counseling to see if someone can help them or maybe even he can go just to help him get beyond this rough period. Right now, he doesn’t need everyone around him giving their opinions, just offer up love and support. Don’t point fingers or place blame at this point because all that is going to do is cause more hurt for their relationship. As far as her still being there after she mentioned them separating doesn’t imply that she planned to leave. She more than likely is expecting him to leave and find some place to live. She may not have a place to go and may feel that he does. Unfortunately if she’s not even willing to acknowledge that they had an anniversary then it sounds as though she’s ready throw in the towel on this one. Your mother-in-law should tell her that she would appreciate it if she didn’t call her with her problems. Explain to her and your mother-in-law that what’s being done isn’t fair to your mother-in-law. She’s expecting your mother-in-law to pick sides and she wants her on her side. Everyone needs to remember that there’s always two sides to every story. Perhaps someone should suggest to your sister-in-law that she needs to seek the comfort of her own family so that her husband can feel comfortable with seeking and getting comfort from his without her manipulating everyone. At this point tell him to pray and always hope for the best but be prepared for the worse.
2007-02-13 05:55:07 · answer #2 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, If you are willing to look at this differently, it is possible to make your life feel better The husband is playing victim, poor me, look what they doing to me. No one can do anything to you without your permission. He is allowing her to walk all over him. This is a classic relationship played out everyday by so many couples, and there is a easy solutions. Stand up for yourself, find some courage, be brave, respect yourself, know you are a part of the solution. The only person who can do something about this is the husband, if he choose not to , that's his life. The next time he calls the family to express his problem, ask him one question. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT. The moment you allow him to be the solution to his problem, you and the family will start feeling a lot better, because you have made a step in the right direction to making the one who needs to be accountable, ACCOUNTABLE.
2007-02-13 06:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by bonnie f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ADVICE: Support the husband (brother-in-law) but other than that, keep your nose out of their business. Stay away or you are going to get sucked into the drama.
2007-02-13 05:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by Fishgutts 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it. There is nothing you can do to help because you are not the problem. I feel for you but be grateful things are still sane in your own home
2007-02-13 05:44:42 · answer #5 · answered by B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
String is the theory.String theory.Wild man.It must be a dark string as I have more thinking to do.
2007-02-13 05:40:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
then tell her what you just said above nicely and calmly some one needs to stand up to her i have an uncle who when through this some one needs to stand up to her trust me it will help!
2007-02-13 06:31:37 · answer #7 · answered by nikie_atkinson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stay out of it. She is still in the house and so is he!!!!
2007-02-13 05:40:16 · answer #8 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah,,, keep out of it,,, if its not meant to be, why would you force the issue?
KEEP AWAY! they are adults, let them figure it out....
2007-02-13 05:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mind your own bussiness
2007-02-16 15:32:35 · answer #10 · answered by sweetgranny06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋