Have any of you ever became attracted to a friend of the same gender as you, that was straight? Did you fall in love ever with them? Did they ever turn bi or gay because they fell in love with you back? Did you try to make them? If so, did it work? Did it ever cause the friendship to be destroyed or lose the closeness? I ask because I have a lesbien friend.
2007-02-13 05:36:26 · 14 answers · asked by Artsy 1 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
She said she loved me.
2007-02-13 05:49:53 · update #1
No, sorry.
2007-02-13 05:39:58 · answer #1 · answered by lara 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been attracted to straigh acquaintances, but I think I have an automatic brain filter that usually doesn't let me look at (especially straight) friends like that. It's like incest or something, I dunno. I had some confused emotions about a gay friend, but it was a REALLY bad time for him, so I never brought it up, and it's probably better off that way. I've DEFINITELY been attracted to straight acquantances (and a couple that I only think were straight), and...aside from some awkwardness on my part it was never an issue. Then again, if someone's straight I tend to "look but don't touch"; there's no point in making them feel as weird as I do about the whole thing. If someone doesn't KNOW that they're gay, I'm not a personal advocate of pressuring them into anything; that feels like taking advantage to me. I'd be happy to be there to talk to them about it, but beyond that I feel uncomfortable. It pretty much comes down to how any friend would react to any other friend asking them out. Depends on how the two people are as to whether or not things can go back to anything close to how they used to be.
2007-02-13 09:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Atropis 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am straight now, but I used to fall in love with my best friends. It happened with about 3 of them. I never wanted that way of life so I never asked for a relationship beyond our friendship. I told them how I felt, some stayed, some walked away. I have lost a lot of friends over the years because I got obsessed with them. People don't like to be smothered. I acted out my feelings by trying to be around them all the time. No one likes that. I have one friend who stuck by me the whoe 8 years and helped me to find freedom. Today I stand free of it all. I'm so much happier on this side of the line.
2007-02-13 05:46:09 · answer #3 · answered by BaseballGrrl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I have been attracted to same gender friends that were straight, but I respect the fact that they are straight. It isn't possible to "turn" someone gay or for them to "turn" gay, you are either gay or you're not. I would never try anthing that could jeopardize our friendship. You're friend probably meant she loved you as a friend, either that or maybe she is a lesbian or bi.
2007-02-13 06:53:00 · answer #4 · answered by Hmmm... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can't turn someone bi or gay, they just are, atleast curious.
If you have the same feelings, then express that you do not want to lose the friendship as she means to much to you. Otherwise if you are 100% sure you feel the same way, then go for it. If you are JUST curious, then find another woman to expierement with first.
2007-02-13 07:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by Sapphire 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should just as easily ask this of heterosexuals who fell in love with someone who wasn't interested in loving them back. I don't think anyone is going to "turn" bisexual, though they may have already been that way. Either way, if they aren't attracted to you, they aren't. Happens all the time.
2007-02-13 05:42:32 · answer #6 · answered by Martin Pedersen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with exploring what you are feeling with your friend. And so much that could be so right. Life is so short and people seem quite obsessed with finding ways to make their lives even more miserable than they need be. Let your friend love you, and see what you feel towards her. It's alright. You deserve to be happy.
2007-02-13 05:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would never want to do anything stupid to ruin or lose a good friendship. I don't think it's right to try to change anyone. Are you assuming that just because your friend is a lesbian, she will go after you? That's narrowminded.....
2007-02-13 06:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by FTW 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what happened was i had a best friend who i was totally convinced was straight (i usually have great gaydar and never got anything from her so i went with it). turns out, she had come to the conclusion that she was gay (i am still not so sure though) because she had fallen in love with me!! we actually dated for awhile, and she came off gay to me (actually quite a good gay!!) but i still have yet to get that "gaydar" vibe from her.
anyway, we dated, and broke up and yes it killed our friendship! it's been over a year and we are still trying to work out the damage dating did to what was such a great friendship before. she still wants to be with me (but for reasons i can't even begin to get into) i can't be with her.
good luck with whatever is going on...but when in doubt....DON'T RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP..it's not worth it!
2007-02-13 05:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by Taken by a Texan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I had a crush on one of my friends.. he didn't know and I wanted to tell him about how I felt for him, but that was like 10 years ago. If I see him again someday I will take the courage to tell him what I feel, how much I miss him and love him...
2007-02-13 05:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i had a friend once who i thought was super hot and he wanted to experiment and he figured who better than with me cause we were so close....so we did and i had a good time and he says he had a good time....we stayed friends after, but grew apart when we left for college...last i heard he was engaged and getting married this summer
2007-02-13 05:41:32 · answer #11 · answered by Huh? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋