I am a 40 year old married man. I have been trying to fight sexual compulsions from my teen years on. I have done some unsavory things in the past. I have worked in office environments with some very attractive co-workers and that is what keeps causing me problems. I start staring at a pretty girl, start thinking of them in various clothes or nude, engaged in sex acts with me or other women in the office or both. I become obsessed and have the thoughts of doing illicit things - my heart races. I have acted on some of these impulses like accidentally touching a ladies butt, and other things.
Email is getting me in trouble lately. I find myself writing the emails telling the girls exactly what I am thinking or did and kind of playing around with the send key and while this is happening I have my pulse quickening while picturing there reaction.
As you may have guessed this has resulted in problems. I by accident sent one lastjobto coworker and was fired.
2007-02-13 05:34:34 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
These compulsions have been enduring from early teen years on.
Even when in a good relationship the compulsions do not stop.
2007-02-13 05:41:10 · update #1
No - I was not talking anything violent.
I was fired from a job for sending explicit email to a pretty coworker.
At my current job I did the same with another co-worker and she did not report it but did tell me if I did anything else she would. She refuses to speak at all to me now.
2007-02-13 07:23:31 · update #2
Please see a sex therapist about compulsions that are adversely affecting your life. It is different when a compulsion doesn't hurt you or anyone else (looking at magazines, watching certain things on tv, or the internet), but when it does (such as interfering with your job) then you should really do something about it. Its not okay to touch someone else's butt just because it pleases you.
A good therapist may be able to help you discover a way to meet your needs in a way that won't be harmful to you or others. They may also be able to help you with certain behaviors. The answer is not always to get rid of your compulsions (unless that is something you want), sometimes the answer is to find a way to satisfy your compulsions without imposing your views on someone else or without affecting your job. A sex therapist can also to help with many other things that may or may not come up. Either way, please talk to someone. There are other people in the same dilemma as you, and nonjudgemental therapist is quite helpful.
2007-02-13 06:35:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like with any compulsion try get as far as possible from the source of that compulsion. You don't have alcoholics working at liquor stores or sex offenders as school teachers. If you don't do it now, sooner or later you'll do something that will get you in real legal troubles and I mean jail time or being seriously hurt by a girl’s vengeful fiancé. Quit that job and you'll see the difference; besides that, try to get some counseling on how to deal with that problems.
Some people have that kind of fantasies; the real big problem is when they become the center of your life and even worst if you try to make them real. When you say "wrong thing" and "illicit things" I guess you mean "rape", "torture" or even "murder". Ted Bundy had that kind of thoughts and he lost control and got sentenced to death.
So try to scare yourself about the consequences. The police always get them because compulsive sex criminal always make mistakes that get them caught. And for a woman rape is a terrible experience from which they never recover; and you sound like someone with conscience, so believe me you will never forgive yourselves if you hurt a woman.
Recognizing your problem is a good sign, it means that you can control it and win, and remember if you want therapy everything is confidential so don't be afraid to seek help. Doctors can also help you to find healthy and legal ways to release the stress from those fantasies without you ruining your life or the life of some innocent woman.
Anyway if you need to talk for advice you can email me.
2007-02-13 05:50:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if not violent the email stuff can get you into real troubles, if you can't stop the find another job before you get fired, if you get fired ther reasons will be in your personal file and it will be harder to get a job if everyone know about your sex problem. Find a job with no young girls, or a fine a "men only" kind of job.
Stop using the emails, erase their emails address, don't ask for emails that way you'll be safer. Remeber also that some of that activities can get you to court for sexual harrasment, and then every one would know about your secret life. Also remember that a girl's boyfriend might try to stop your sexual aproach by hurting you.
Take care and let God help you
2007-02-14 06:20:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
...whew. buddy. i would submit your sexual fantasies are human.
but pal. these peeps in your work environment are not always human. these are robots. they are not permitted to fantasize or participate in what you say ''illicit'' (whatever you mean by this...i wonder.....is this a word someone has taught you or did you fantasize this word up by yourself..?) fantasy or activity.
you gotta realize something here ... just because a sexually alluring creature or two wants to attract you or others or be perceived as attractive and/or sexual do not mean you are permitted to have thoughts or feelings of how to explore all of it.
no man. you gotta be political. which means you gotta let yourself be accepting that some creatures are sexual and some are not.
you do not have the right to think or feel. please accept that.
if you want to extend your communicative urges via electronic services be certain that you know the political mind and relationship honesties of those which have attracted you.
know the difference between a flirtation and a sincere gesture for exploration.
there is a difference you know....
one is about being moderately intended to pursue what is more than moderately (usually) impressed on your conscious/physical being. (flirtation) and the other is about being honest with your self in knowing that you are attracted by female body-parts and more.
and one more thing that most guys are not intelligent enough to realize and that you should be aware.
women are political ... this means her mind soul and body are the property of the municipal/provincial(state)/federal governments and you must not take what is the governments.
the government needs women to bring little kiddies into the human warehouse to have their own illicit fantasies sated.
be well
**jezzebell**....this person did just talk to someone....spoke with us.
i think he or she has taken grand steps in realizing the dangers of being a thinking feeling and needing touch human.
be well jezzebell
2007-02-13 06:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by noninvultuous 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i do no longer understand how previous you're, i do no longer understand if this would help. i do no longer understand plenty approximately OCD. yet from what i've got discovered over the years, it is not that uncommon to have those style of ideas - quite once you're youthful and purely beginning to discover your sexuality. this is a complicated and complicated time. What I advise is going to counselor. no longer simply by fact there is something incorrect with you, yet simply by fact it would desire to be waiting that should assist you paintings out why those ideas come into your ideas. as an occasion there may be characteristics or features which you relish and subsequently it happens. extremely some psychologists discover that your destiny better half will many times have some characteristics or features of a parent or kin member. they say each guy grows as much as marry their mom.
2016-09-29 01:40:11 · answer #5 · answered by schenecker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need professional help, in addition to staying away from internet, for a while and avoiding magazines and nude pictures. Get involved in some hectic activities, such as gardening.
All the best!
2007-02-13 05:50:53 · answer #6 · answered by Ebby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just imagine it was your sister or something and believe me,...haha. Just Kidding. Well, think about this: If someone was staring at your SISTER and started fantizing about her, you would probley knock his lights out. So why do that to other women? Every woman is someones daughter, and they would be disgusted to see you do such acts. Just treat them with respect, they are not just there to satisfy you. Just something to think about.
2007-02-13 05:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by mcw7267 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried counseling? This sounds like an escape from something in your childhood or adolescence. :-)=
2007-02-13 05:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Jcontrols 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop fantasizing and find a real relationship that is satisfying.
2007-02-13 05:38:29 · answer #9 · answered by astralpen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Therapist maybe?
2007-02-13 05:42:12 · answer #10 · answered by E 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋