2007-02-13 05:07:42 · 20 answers · asked by Caryn L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Absolutely. He left his mother to be with you. You should be number # 1 at all times as long as you respect him.
2007-02-13 05:10:51 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrel 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Once, my friend has told me that the issue about his wife vs his mom is the GREAT PAIN in his life. Don't put your husband in a difficult position to choose.
Yes, it is absolutely fair to expect your husband to put your feelings before his mother. But, the underlying question is: do you put your husband's feeling before your very own.
When a man and a woman marries, they become one flesh according to the Bible. IMHO, Your husband's feeling should be treated as your own. Think more of him, less of yourself.
COMMUNICATE always and let him know how you feel. Have FAITH and TRUST in your husband's love towards you. I am sure that a true loving husband will always care about his wife's feelings.
2007-02-13 06:17:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, not at all.. a man will leave his parents house and cling to his wife.. I read those lines in the bible.
But if his mother is elderly, frail, sick and not very healthy, you cannot expect him to put her aside and think of your feeling all the time.. there has to be a compromise.. Remember this is the women that gave him life, and raised him.. Have some compassion for her feelings. But do not let him choose her feeling over yours all the time.. not at a fair or just, just talk to him and let him know how you feel and if he won't listen then talk to someone that can reach him....Good luck
2007-02-13 05:14:22 · answer #3 · answered by Mari-Mari 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There are two sides to every story~ Please hear mine.
I am the Mother of 5 adult married children. My husband & I are happily married 54 yrs.
Our oldest son came to see us in tears and needed to borrow more money from us to get out of pressing debt,pay at least one car off, his 401K back where it should be & credit card debts.He couldn't sleep at night and he had no place to go but to us although his wife did not want him to ask us for more money. Well, We loaned him a total of $85,000..To be paid back at $800. a month. We are 76 & 80 now.Then within a month his wife got offended when I told of ways that I had saved money over the years and to this day. She told him ,We where no longer welcome in her home and he went along with her and said he would bring the children over here for us to see.
She should be #1 but I say this is not right. Now this son was my rock but my perception of him now is not what it was. I don't feel in our old age we can depend on him because of her.
We are saddened. Had to get my say in here. Thank You.
2007-02-13 11:07:21 · answer #4 · answered by Jill ❤'s U.S.A 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I am having the same thing with my husband. Yes I feel that they should put their wife's feelings first. Not to say that they shouldn't care about his mothers feelings but you are his family and your feelings should be the most important.
2007-02-13 05:11:40 · answer #5 · answered by Vicki B 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes, depending on what you are expecting is reasonable enough. When you are married, your partner comes first (unless they are abusive). Ideally, your husband can take both sets of feelings into consideration and compromise, but if it comes down to loyalty to Mom or loyalty to Wife (all other things being equal), loyalty to Wife comes first (unless he's a little boy and still attached to the apron strings, in which case he should not be married).
2007-02-13 05:30:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would say 80% of the time yes. But, it depends on what the issue is. Also, don't make it a habit of making him choose between you and the mother. If you always disagree with her, it will make it look like you are just doing that to see if you can control him.
My ex used to do that to me. It wasn't that she actually disagreed with my mother, she just did it to stir up trouble, and force me to choose her over my mother. That was one of the things that led to my leaving the marriage.
Hope that helps.
2007-02-13 05:11:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Yes. When he married you, he left the home of his parents to make a home with you. You are his family. Your feelings are now more important. Mom will just have to get over it if she doesn't like it because her son is a grown man and she can't control him anymore. If your husband can't put your feelings first, I really feel for you and the rough road you have ahead.
2007-02-13 05:11:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
That is a hard question. I would like to say yes but it depends on how close he is to his mother. You might also think about how hard it is for him to decide. He wants to make you both happy but in turn it might have the opposite effect. Just talk to him about it.
2007-02-13 05:11:51 · answer #9 · answered by Joe 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yours. He married you and left mommy. Time to cut the apron strings. Granted, once in a blue moon he may have to favor her, but it shouldn't be at the point where it leaves you wondering why he does it. I left my mom, and my wifes feelings come before her. I've made some decisions that made my mom mad which favored my wifes feelings, but I'm not married to my mom, so.....
2007-02-13 05:16:25 · answer #10 · answered by aj1964 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋