i asked a woman leader at the church to pray about depts i have and she said i ought to manage my money better, well i have no washing machine, havent had a holiday in years, have my grandchildren living with me, and walk everywhere, cos i carn,t afford the bus, and i told her she was wrong and moaned at her and about something else, she said oh i have been unemployed. She really wound me up now i feel bad, what should i do, she did say sorry for hurting me though, was she being judgemental
2007-02-13 04:59:57 · 14 answers · asked by denny 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think she had no right telling u her opinion. Her job was to pray for you not to judge. Ur a human being of course u are goin to get a little angry. But she should of kept her comment to herself. She did Say sorry though.
2007-02-13 05:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by gurllucky7 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I echo the sentiments of the earlier answers... people who go to church are not always there for the right reasons. For many, it is a form of social climbing and a way to make themselves more important within the community.
I am not a christian .. but I appreciate the finer points of the religion ... she did not behave according to the teachings of christ..
1) Yes, she was judgemental.
2) She is in a position whereby she should have offered you solace and/or advice.
3) While I am a life-long, committed atheist.. I don't think this should make you question your faith .. only the trust you place in others.
Seek some free independent financial advice. You should try to manage your money better (as should we all), but it's not always easy... speak with your minister/priest about how you feel - not to "grass up" the person .. but to see if there might be some comfort from your faith and perhaps some form of hardship fund which can help you out financially.
Put the bad encounter with this woman behind you (i.e. turn the other cheek) .. she had her opinion and her lack of compassion or practical advice should not be allowed to make you feel worse than you already do.
Be strong and seek as many sources of "genuine" help as you can find.
If you feel that prayer is required ... pray for yourself, and perhaps by speaking with your minister/priest; prayer will come from your congregation.
Maybe this has been some help .... treasure what you have and ask the right people for help ... I truly hope things get much better for you and yours.
Best of luck!!
2007-02-13 05:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by tattooed.dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truth hurts< Debts are made by us not by god, why should god help, did we help his son NO! I can understand when you have grandchildren with you that money is tight and you see others buying and you cannot but you have a good heart looking after your grandchildren and i bet you try and make sure they dont go without.
Can i suggest something YOU pray and tell god about this and the hardship tell him all and more and be truthful, i can say you will get the help but you have to do your bit towards this and that means asking, maybe your Grandchildren will join you.
Hope all your dreams come true and prayers. DO IT DO IT NOW.
2007-02-13 07:45:13 · answer #3 · answered by SAMANTHA H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was she being judgemental or just trying to give some helpful advice? Possibly God was trying to answer your prayers by putting someone in your life to offer some guidance. I don't know enough about your situation or how much she knows, so i can't say if she was being judgemental or just honest. It could be that you needed to hear what she said and God moved her to say it. Ask her to tell you in what ways she means and if she has some specific suggestions to help you. If she has nothing to offer, she may be judgemental. On the other hand, be prepared to feel sensitive if she is candid. The people that have helped me most in life were the ones who had the guts to be brutally honest, and many of them have been Christian. The advice that has helped and blessed me most usually hurt my feelings at first, but led to needed self evaluation. This was done out of love. These people cared enough about me to risk my being angry at them. Sometimes love has to be tough, but it is still love.
I apologize if I am sounding judgemental, I am just trying to get you to look at this from another perspective. Lots of luck!
2007-02-13 06:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by tak 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ask her or anybody else to pray for you. Do it yourself. I find many church people phony and judgemental. They are not experts. Get yourself some better friends. Don't assume because they are so called Christians that they are going to behave in a Christ like manner. Many of these 'church people' are very narrow minded.
2007-02-13 05:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she was being judgemental and to some extent realised this if she said sorry to you. Sometimes people react to problems with the attitude of "there is worse off people that you" and although this is true, it doesn't help your situation and hardships and can leave people feeling guilty, depressed and overall make them feel bad for asking for help! If you feel really bad, go back and talk to her again, stating how you feel..I don't believe you did anything wrong...you weren't really asking her to pray you would get rich, you just want the burden taken off you. I hope everything works out. Don't beat yourself up over this, she just didn't handle things very well and perhaps wasn't the right person to talk to but good luck to you!
2007-02-13 05:07:47 · answer #6 · answered by SH2007 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Right praying doesnt mean ****, but do it if you want your confidence to boost, but do it yourself, not someone else, because then youll be hoping too much but i suppose you would have someone to blame if your debts um.. magically dissapear which, face it, isnt going to happen. You need to face life, get a job, or if your old ask or a higher pension. Stop going to church because it is a waste of time. Then you'll be ok.
2007-02-13 05:24:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first carm down, i can see why you feel like this and i am glad she said sorry, but i think she was being very judgemental. who is she to talk to you like that plus by the sound of thing you just needed some one to talk to and im sorry but she was the wrong one. my heart gos out to you my mum also has my sisters kids and they struggle with every day living we help has mush has possilbe.
has for wot should you do i think pat yourself on the back for not pulling yourself down to her level and remember when things are bad,there is always some one out there worse than you, keep your chin and good luck with the grand kids x
2007-02-13 05:09:51 · answer #8 · answered by rob 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the nature of Christ's church these days, very judgemental.
2007-02-13 05:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by Billy FZ1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad, she was being shitty, she wont feel sorry about it either, you two are worlds apart and you were just trying to talk about it to cope with it.
Ive been at the bottom and not everyone deserves to be there
you should really go to your local council and ask for monitary help, youre a carer if you have your grandchildren with you and they will help Im sure.
Best of luck
saint among sinners =)
ps Im not slightly religeous =P
2007-02-13 05:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋