The father of my two children had another child outside the relationship with the mother of his first child and I also caught him in bed with another woman. They were fully clothed but still in all she was laying in my bed. And he is an alcohol abuser and is not willing to stop drinking.
2007-02-13 04:57:52 · 14 answers · asked by brenna0725 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is a toughie. Personally whenever I find I cannot trust a partner, I move on. They only get worse.
"A leopard cannot change its spots"
Make a clandestine appointment with a lawyer.
Get a restraining order & move him out.
Let him in on it when he gets the papers served.
2007-02-13 05:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by Jack Tax 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like Dr. Phil would say, "it's a no-brainer, some things are deal breakers and this is one of them". Abuse, alcoholism and infidelity -- what is actually good about the relationship? Nothing apparently, so why are you accepting that kind of abuse from ANYONE? Step back and take a look at how sick this is. Call up your local church and tell them you need some counselling immediately if you insist on staying, maybe they can help... but if you are asking the public this question in general, I highly doubt ANYONE will tell you how to fix SOMEONE ELSE. You can't. Fix yourself and get out and save your kids from a life of misery while you still can.
2007-02-13 05:02:21 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH honey..If he cheated on you while you were dating and then again while you were engaged I can guarantee he has cheated on you while you have been married.Ofcourse he lied and denied it to you that is what cheaters do they are deceptive,dishonest untrustworthy people.Once a cheat always a cheat.Trust is everything in a relationship/marriage without trust you have nothing.What you need to ask yourself is do you trust him if the answer is no then you need to get divorced.Don't stay with him just because you have children together that is the worst mistake that parents make.When parents stay together"because of the kids"that is a crock of poop because in the end the children pay the ultimate price of being raised in an unhappy home.They have done so many studies with older children that had parents that said they stayed together because of the kid's and all the kid's responses were that they wished their parents would have just gotten divorced.Also how can you stay with a man that cheats what do you think that teaches your children surely you don't want them to grow up and think that it is acceptable behavior.You have to want better for yourself and your children.You do not have to forgive him for being unfaithful you deserve better don't allow him to disrespect you in that way.He will only continue to lie to you and he will tell you anything that you want to hear for you not to leave him but you need to be strong and get rid of him.I have been in your situation.THis man is not for you.You will meet the right man that will love you and be true to you he will also love your children.I made it and so will you.I am now married to a wonderful man that loves my child like his own.Get a divorce and move on also make sure that he pay's child support he still has an obligation to take care of your children.Please don't stay trapped in an unhealthy and unhappy marriage you deserve better..Good Luck.
2016-05-24 05:39:01 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to salvage this relationship, the kids? Having a drunken womanizer around the house is not going to help the kids. Move on, get social services, get child support and stay away from alcoholics.
2007-02-13 05:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The man is a loser, dump him fast. He didn't commit to you (not married) but was willing to spread his seed.
The man has less morals than a dog and my dog is at least neutered.
Has there been any thought how this behavior affects the children involved? They had no choice in picking their parents, but the parents have obviously made very bad choices.
If you can't commit to each other in marriage, than how can you commit to being good parents?
2007-02-13 05:05:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get into counseling together. But make sure he wants to make some changes. If he is willing to work on it with you, you have a chance. And if he's not willing to work on it, end your relationship with him. It seems like he has some bad patterns, and you don't want that kind of man influencing your kids. Protect them!
2007-02-13 05:36:34 · answer #6 · answered by LP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you leave (and you will leave) make sure you get some form of financial support from him. Every child deserves to live a decent quality of life.
even if you got past the infidelity, it will be hard to get past the child he fathered otherwise.
2007-02-13 09:11:55 · answer #7 · answered by spiritualcipher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be a really strong person. I don't know that someone can really say how. But you need to be sure that you want the relationship and that you make him get help for drinking. Both of you should go to therapy for all three issues. Best of Luck to you.
2007-02-13 05:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by ooh2sweet2b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Leave, there is no going back after that type of betrayal. What can he possibly do to that you allow you to trust him again?
2007-02-13 05:01:15 · answer #9 · answered by Dane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
save yourself a alot of sorrows
and just get out
before it gets uglyier.
be strong,find people that will help you
but get out while you can.
2007-02-13 05:01:24 · answer #10 · answered by rottentothecore 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋