My wife used to have a strong sex drive, for about the first 2 years of our marriage. We have been together now 8 years, and the last 6 years is always me begging for sex. Yes, we both used to look great, and she has had a kid, and I have noexcuse, so we gained pounds. I still find her very hot, and want to have sex everyday. Instead it's once every 2 weeks, so I find myself taking care of myself 2-3 times a day.
She used to do orgies, and was very wild, as a bi-females, before we met. Could she just have had too much sex when younger, and her drive is just gone at age 32. We still have a great and fun marriage, she still reminds me verbally, of how much she loves me.
Or does no sex usually mean she is getting somewhere else...she claims to not even take care of her self.
2007-02-13 04:56:14 · 24 answers · asked by sailor28_1998 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why do so many people assume, im not doing my part of the relationship, by understanding her emotional needs. I cook, clean, and take care of the kids, just as much as she does. I work just as many hours, and have noticed her being a little distant, coupled with very little intimate moments.
2007-02-13 07:55:15 · update #1
Men are so into themselves!!! Why is it that when a woman is not in the mood, it means she doesn't love her man anymore or shes cheating!!! Women don't need sex as much as men. They have two brains, but only use one 98% of the time, and I'm not talking about the one that is on top of the neck. Leave your wife alone, if she isn't in the mood, shes not in the mood. Maybe she is going through a lot right now, or shes got a lot on her mind. If that is the only proof that she is cheating, and no other signs, then she is probably being just as faithful as she always has.
2007-02-13 05:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
My wife and I used to have a WILD sex life! TRUST me on that one! (can't help but smile here) But since becoming parents things have changed. We often talk about doing some of the stuff we used to do a few years ago when we were in our late 20s, but that's not really high on our list of priorities anymore. Especially now that we're parents. For my wife I think it was more of a phase than a lifestyle. Something fun to try, fun to experience, fun to do, and fun to say we did. But that's no excuse to lose all interest in sex or to act is if you're burned out. My wife and I are SLOWLY getting back into being more intimate after becoming parents last year. So just give your wife some time. Slowly re-introduce her into doing some of the things SHE likes doing. Once she's comfortable, confident, and feeling more like herself she might be more likely to be more adventurous again! At least, that's what I'm hoping!!!
2007-02-13 05:14:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not the end all be all of a relationship. Just because her drive has changed, doesn't mean she's getting it anywhere else. How is she doing emotionally? Is there anything going on in her life that could be making sex take a back burner? Do you know what's going on in her life? Do you even care?
If you don't care, buy stock in lotion and keep focusing on just your own needs. If you do care then be there for her. Contrary to popular belief, women can go much longer than men without sex and feeling the need to 'take care of themselves'.
I've found my desire to have sex is directly related to my level of overall happiness. My husband and I met when we were 20 and have been together now for 13 years, our son is almost 9 now. We both hit slumps every now and then but it usually has to do with something else not each other.
At about the 8 year mark my husband and I went through the same thing. I kept telling him that when it comes to sex, men are like microwaves and women are crock pots and that if he wanted to get laid by the end of the day he could do any number of little things throughout the day to help me and listen to me. It eventually sunk in.
The other thing that I will caution you about however is that you do need to be mindful of her emotional needs. If you don't care enough about her to do the little things to show you care, don't be mad if someone else does.
On man's garbage is another man's treasure. You'd better make sure you let her know how much you treasure her and not take her for granted.
Couples don't stay together because they need each other; they want to be with each other. Make sure you're showing her how much you want to be together.
2007-02-13 05:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by Amada 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the biggest hints towards a unfaithful partner is a change in sexual interest. You could go the route of asking her directly but look for more clues to build your case like, if she answers her cell phone but wants privacy she may leave the room or only answer when your not around, does she head for the shower right after "a night out with the girls" to wash away any evidence, try asking her to try new things in bedroom and see if she is receptive to that or you can try a drastic measure by keeping yourself so occupied that you don't ask her for sex and let her come to you for sex, the longer it takes for her to wonder about your sex needs, the more likely she is seeing someone else.
2007-02-13 05:05:31 · answer #4 · answered by rainerblood69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like there is a deeper issue. Women express intimacy through sex to a greater degree than men do. Her not sharing that intimacy with you makes it sound like there isn't as much of an emotional connection as there used to be.
Try doing spontaneous things for her. Treat her to fun and relaxing things. Try to think the same way you did when you first started dating and do those things. When you've re-established the emotional connection, the physical should follow. If not, then perhaps therapy could help.
2007-02-13 05:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think all this means that you haven't found much for her past her sexual drive. If you really love her, for the deep stuff, sex would be like icing on the cake. Shoulnd't be such a concern. She's probably now in a place in her life where she'd like to be adored and taken care of. Not viewed as a sex object.
2007-02-13 05:07:57 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Testosterone hormones for women is a treatment for this.
But, women's main "sex drive" is to find a healthy and attractive father for their children. Since she has a child, that biological imperative may be satisfied for her.
Women also do not need the sex act to feel satisfied---just having you there in the same room, watching tv with her, her chosen man, might give her all the thrill she needs. Cooking you a meal, hearing your voice on the phone, or just seeing your smile, is a huge thrill that proves to herself she is female.
2007-02-13 05:04:14 · answer #7 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically the female sex drive increases as a woman gets older. Maybe there is a medical condition going on with her? Maybe she needs some romance? You should seek marital counseling.
2007-02-13 05:03:39 · answer #8 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't assume that she's cheating, women's bodies change. She isn't the same woman at 24 that she is at 32. Talk to her, tell her that you think she's sexy and you find her attractive. Be specific about what you like. Maybe she doesn't feel sexy anymore.
I am 37 and I've been with my husband since I was 19. He tells me everyday that I'm sexy and what he likes about my body. We have sex everyday.
2007-02-13 05:01:05 · answer #9 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sex drive usually drops with age and stress levels good job on doing day to day stuff but maybe try to introduce something fun or extra romantic or crazy to get her going like take her to a nice restaurant and slide your hand up her skirt you would be amazed at how tingly that gets a girl your probably not doing anything wrong but it may take more to get her revved up these days especially after a kid
2007-02-13 09:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋