I have been dating my boyfriend now for about 5 months and the first 3 months were great. Actually they were out of this world. I could see my future with him stretching into the distant. This has been my 1st non dramatic relationship and the infatuation stage has just ended. My last ex was a real "winner" NOT. He was a loser, lost his job as a police officer, abused me, got caught for DUI. A whole pile of crap. All in all I dated him for about a year and I know I was in love with him at the beginning but had to get myself out of his mess and move on with my life.
I took a year for myself, moved out of town and just dated here and there, nothing serious. Then I met my now boyfriend and we clicked but I feel like I loved my ex more than I love my current boyfriend for some reason. I feel like something is missing in our relationship and I want to spend my life with him cause he is such a nice guy BUT I want my feelings to get stronger cause I dont want to love my ex more....
I have begun some councelling and that seems to be going ok so far but I AM SO SCARED that my feelings have changed and I dont love him anymore?!?!?!?
Is there any way we can make it work?
2007-02-13 04:46:18 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
CRAZY
2007-02-13 04:49:37 · answer #1 · answered by w00t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have dealt with many people who have run into the same situation you have.
It can be one of two things (but mind you it can be more since these things are complex)
THEORY 1:
Your current boyfriend is not sexually as exciting as your previous boyfriend. First off, we all get an added spice when we know that our boyfriend is a cop. I remember I once had sex with a cop (a wild dog is the best way to describe him despite the fact that he had a small penis the idea of him being a cop made it all the worth while).
Your ex- might have been sexually more appealing then your current boyfriend. And that's ok. It's ok to have a desire of animal qualities for a man...BUT DON'T LET THAT SPOIL YOUR CHANCES OF LIVING WITH SOMEONE SPECIAL.
I have a question for you...does your current excite you as your ex? You would be surprised how many people answer yes to this.
THEORY 2:
I have run into a lot of people who are happy living with those they hate. Let me say this again, I have met alot of people who enjoy leaving in missery. Believe it or not...for some reason people who have low selfemstee get attracted by those who are emotionally and psychologically bad for them.
My mother for instance admits to leaving my biological father (who provided $, food, and a wondeful home) but then she decided to go for another man who is now my stepfather. My stepfather treats her like ****...and she likes it
THEORY 3:
THe current guy you are with isn't what you thought he was. DON'T MAKE PEOPLE WHAT THEY ARE NOT. If it doesn't work out...there is no rule that says you two can't be friends
2007-02-13 04:57:26 · answer #2 · answered by christiansareawesome 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing that bad relationships don't lack: passion, possibly you are confusing feelings of love for passion.
You don't want to go back with the ex do you? It's not even an option on the table..so why make any comparison at all, people are all different and you will define your relationship differently. Just because it's different than your previous experience of love, dosen't mean it's not love. Just make good decisions for yourself now. So follow your heart..but don't get too emotional and throw out your logic and reason with it.
2007-02-13 04:57:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋