My son is 1 year old he has been with his grand parents like all the time becasue when I try to take him my boyfriends mom starts to whine and cry telling my Boyfriend that he dosent love her and he wants her to have no time with our baby well its been like this for a year now Im not taking care of my baby because they wont let me they act like my baby is theres they even took Donovans crib out of my room when I wasnt home now he sleeeps in there room. Im only 17 but I love to spend time with my son but there is a problem...everytime i have him he is always crying for his papa i dont kno what to do....please help me...I tried to keep donovan away for a week so he would get used to just me and his daddy....but his grandma called my boyfriend crying saying she dosent think that she can live with out Donovan and that I hate her she gets us in fights all the time help please....
2007-02-13 04:45:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Seems like your boyfriend needs to get some balls and stand up to his mom. You are the mom. Just stand your ground and take charge of the situation. Take the crib back in your room. Tell his mom that you want time to bond with your baby and do what you have to. If not you will always get run over by her. If you stand up to her she will respect you more in the end. Good luck. I think I would go crazy if I were you. Hang in there!!
2007-02-13 04:51:54 · answer #1 · answered by doodersmom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the 2 of you had a child too soon. Not the end of the world but you are going to have to do some serious growing up real fast. Your boyfriend needs to lay down the law to his mother first of all and 2nd you 2 need to find jobs after school and get out on your own. I am 42 and just had a baby girl 3 months ago, I know how hard it is, my wife and I share all the resonsibilities of feeding, bathing and even getting up in the middle of the night with the baby you are both parent now and that is the most awesome responsibility anyone can EVER have but have faith and do your very best and you will be alright. Good luck.
2007-02-13 12:58:39 · answer #2 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because you are living with the grandparents, grandma feels entitled to be in charge. Thank her for her help, but gently explain that you need more alone time with the baby to establish the mother-child bond. She thinks she is helping you out because you are young. If this is her first grandchild, a doting grandmother is normal.
Probably, it won't get better until you have your own place. Until then, you can let it bother you or be proactive. You can all make up a list of baby related chores and rotate the jobs. Try to spend time outside of the house with the baby. Take a walk in the park or an exercise class for Moms and their babies.
2007-02-13 14:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by ne11 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ughhhh...it's your baby, right? Then you say what goes. Now, as far as the grandmother, she could be slightly overstepping her bounds. But, in the same sense, she is really attached to your baby. It's not a bad thing that she loves him so much. You and her need to sit down and have a calm conversation about this situation. Explain to her how you feel. Make sure you tell her how lucky your son is to have her for a grandmother. Remember to thank her for all that she has done for you and your boyfriend. Tell her you want your son in her life as much as possibel. But, you also need to bond with the baby and you feel that you are missing out on the experience of being a mother. See how she handles that. You two have a common ground here. You both love this child very much and he's very lucky to have such a loving environment to grow up in. Good Luck
2007-02-13 13:54:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't very clear. Do you all live together? Or, do you and your boyfriend have your own place? Who watches him while you're in school? After school? At night? Do you have custody? Are you financially supporting your child? If you are the mom, then you need to be taking care of your son. If the Grandmother is raising him, then you need to sit down together and work out an agreement that works for both of you. It sounds like you both love him. Don't push her away, just make it clear that you respect her and her help, but you are the mother. Good luck to you all!
2007-02-13 14:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by Swim Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your boyfriend need to stand your ground when it comes to your son. Your boyfriends Mum should be mature enough to understand that it was you and your partner that bought this baby into the world so its your responsibility to bring this child up. I suggest that until you and your boyfriend can get a place of your own, you bring Donovan's crib back into your room and maybe start weaning your son away from his grandma and papa so that they all realise where he belongs, with his mummy and daddy. That way maybe your boyfriends Mum will start to realise that she can actually live without her grandson but you can't live like this without your son! Good luck.
2007-02-13 14:15:08 · answer #6 · answered by Rebecca C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you reap what you sow. If you were old enough to have sex and have and keep the child, then you are old enough to start acting like an ADULT.
Step up and take care of your child. Who cares what your boyfriends mom says? Get a job and start paying your own way so you are not subject to the whims of anyone else. Demand that the crib is moved back to your room. Start taking responsibility for the life you created and stop allowing someone else to tell you how to raise your own kid.
2007-02-13 16:23:35 · answer #7 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats difficult situation to be in but first if your living with them then you need to get your own place. Its never good to raise a family when you live with relatives, because they always want to raise your kids the way they raised you or your loved one and since its your first they think that you dont know what your doing. You also need to put your foot down in a nice way and tell them how you feel or let your boyfriend know how you feel, your the parent you make the decisions. Maybe they just are old and dont have much to do throughout the day, but if you want to be with your baby and parent them no one has the right to tell you when you can do that and when you cant and your boyfriend has to understand and thats it.
2007-02-13 12:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by Joshua J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to stablish and your mother in law needs to know by now that if you have a son with her son, you want your life and you want to have your own family. You need to talk to her and tell her that she will get involve in the grandson life but not in your relationship. If she doesn't understand well take her to family couseling. Always separate that, because they are part of your family that doesn't means she suppose to breath live and move around your life. You are pretty much an independent person now and you have to take care of your baby and your boyfriend. Be safe only couples should deal with couple problems.
2007-02-13 12:56:58 · answer #9 · answered by Mom2aGirlandaBoy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're living proof that 16 is WAY too young to have (and keep) a baby. You need to be concentrating on your school and education, that way when you're older you can provide for a baby. There's no way on this planet a 17 year old can provide what a 1 year old needs.
As hard as this is, let the grandparents raise the child. That way he has at least a semi decent chance to grow up into a functioning adult.
2007-02-13 14:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋