someone please help me?

Question

Hey everyone, My name is Brad, and I desperately need some help. About a year ago, I got a new job, I became a big brother for Big brother big sister, I met a wonderful girl, was close to God, and now I'm a trainwreck.
Haven't even spoken to God in 1/2 a year, just realized I treat my girlfriend badly, and take advantage of her loving me. I still have a job, but am lazy and some days don't want to go in, and the worst of all, after having great times with Dominic (my little buddy) , I just stopped calling him. I either worked, or didn't feel like having him on "my shoulders" that day, and haven't called or talked to him in 3 months.
I realize how selfish this is, and know i could be in a lot worst situation, but I just don't take the initiative on anything. I'm not man enough to call him back, don't know what to say, and know they would be upset.I just don't want to deal with all that, but at the same time, I realize I need to stop being irresponsible. Help please

Answer 1

In all honesty, it doesn't sound like irresponsibility to me, but rather a bout of depression.

This is something that can be treated YAY.

I would speak to your doctor and explain to him/her the feelings you're feeling, tell them that you can't motivate yourself to even be a good mentor and boyfriend let alone a good employee.

This is something that's potentially serious and could ruin all that you've worked hard for in your life if you don't get it under control.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

Start taking some vitamin B complex and a multi vitamin.
Call your little Bud and tell him you were in a funk and needed some time to yourself,
call your girl, take her out to dinner and tell her how you have been feeling for the last while.
Honesty is sometimes the best way to handle things. At least you will know that if they are still interested they will forgive your stupidity.
If they are hurt, be ready for the words, cause you will have deserved them,.
I think we all get a little lazy and depressed some time.
you have to ask yourself are you happy with the direction of your life, if not make some changes
and start on it now. You have to have some joy in life , so t hat you can enjoy it be a good person and care and be responsible to others as well as yourself.
If your new job is not what you want, then maybe
you need to look for something else, more challenging, or maybe you need to further your education....
Take some time and go talk to a good friend who is a professional, minister, doctor, lawyer, social worker, architect, pharmacist, whatever and have a heart to heart.
maybe there are some personal issues here you need to deal with ... focus, incentive, depression, goals, and self worth.
I think you just took a small hiatus and need to get off the old rutted trail and find a new path......

Answer 3

As far as, Dominic. children are very forgiving & tend to have unconditional love! Approaching the situation HONESTLY would be the best mechanism. Don't underestimate a child. That issue, with the fact that u accept ur fault within urself, is probably the siplest of the all. Now, as far as, everything else, we all fall, as well as fail. Once u have GOD, u ALWAYS have him! Trust in him & do what u know is right for u! U have angels on ur shoulders, I promise, or u wouldn't even be acknowledging these issues. The first step to fixing any problem, regardless the category it may lie, is recognition. So, ur on ur way to progress, as we speak. Now, u just have to find the motivation within "U" and start making things happen the way u want them too. I truly believe our lives have been prewritten, if u will, and that everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was a trial & error thing for you, and that's ok; but, NO pill, therapy, etc... can copletely fix any of our problems. U have to have willpower & it has to come completely fro your own soul. So, find a steppin' stone that works for "U" and Git~R~Dun! LoL Good luck, Brad! {if ur g/f truly loves u, she'll be understanding, too, and it'll all work out ;) }

Answer 4

Go back to Church & talk to God and your church leader.
Talk to you girlfriend. Apologize & get her feedback on the situation.
Talk to the BigBrother/BigSister director or counselor and try to mend the fence or sever the tie in a mature fashion. They may have already written you off, but you really should talk to them anyway.
If you're up to it, talk to Dominic. He may be more understanding than you think. If not, let the BB/BS organization know you don't feel that any additional contact would be a good idea.

It sounds like you really need a period of introspection to try and figure out what's gone wrong in your life. A church leader & your girlfriend can probably help. You need to figure out what's missing or wrong in your life and fix it. I assume you have other friends as well, try talking to the more serious ones and see if they are willing to help. Sometimes talking it out can do wonders.

Last draw, try counseling. Even just a few sessions can set you in the right direction. If your local church has this available, go that route. If not, try your local mental health organization. Your work place or health insurance may also have options available to you.

You've acknowledged the problem! You've taken the first step! Now keep moving forward and fix it! It's not just your life, it's also the lives of everyone you touch. Take control!

Answer 5

Hi Brad. I must applaud you for realizing about the wrongs you have done to others that care for you. Now that you know what you did wrong, it is time to make things right.

Start by keeping in touch with Dominic, and appologize to your girlfriend, and get to work. If you feel like not going to work, think about the past, and how you wasted your time achieving nothing.

When you feel lazy, get up from the bed, even if you don't want to. Also, what you say sounds like you have suffered a depression crisis for some time. Don't yield to depression, do something about it.

Answer 6

Brad- It is obvious something else is going on.When we love and feel good about ourselves we don't just abandon the things that make us feel good.You need to look in your heart and find out what is really going on.Are you depressed ? Do you have family issues? Are you not living the life that agrees with your beliefs?My suggestion is to sit down and write on a piece of paper what you are unhappy about and why you are unhappy about it.Only after you have addressed the real problem can you be happy.Remember everytime we think even an abstract thought God hears and NEVER judges. We are all here trying to figure out our lives. Don't be hard on yourself, life is a marathon not a sprint.

Answer 7

Haven't even spoken to God in 1/2 a year

Answer 8

You need to decide what you want...and be a man and stick to it...You do owe Dominic a big apology.He is supposed to be able to look up to you...He is suffering in his life or you wouldn't have become his "big brother". You need to be a man when it comes to breaking the hearts of little children. They are very delicate and you need to see the errors of your ways. You can not just tell the world about it and think you are doing what is right...You have to make it right for Dominic. he is most likely very hurt by now...and he has had enough hurt in his life...so start being a real man...Wake up man!!!!!!!

Answer 9

Chin up, Brad ! :) Trust me on this one. It's not going to be easy, but you need to start figuring out what is going to make you feel better. Start with little steps and with everything, ask yourself "What's the worst that can happen ?" . Chances are, the consequences of things like you deciding to call your lil bro aren't or looking for another job aren't going to be as bad as you thought. Conquering the hard stuff is difficult, but you'll feel much better. Good Luck!

Answer 10

the only help you need to is to take action on your life!
your complaining to me now you'll complain again in two weeks because of something that made you upset!
coping.org!
Get off your *** and just do it!
it's the only way!
own up to your responsablitys
no one else can do it for you!

wake up only you can do that for yourself!


it's a mind state so change your way of thinking yes stop saying well that's who i am and why that's how i do things.. or oops i forgot to do that.. and just grin and bare it!
the world don't turn for you or me
set your goals and go for them!
without them your a basket case running around this world with no place to go!
so
SET GOALS
TAKE ACTION
STOP the EXCUSES
just DO IT
now peel your eyes away from this tv screen or monitor and do something out side your norm.. you been mean to your lover go buy flowers or pick them that means more!
call your buddy and say your sorry and leave it at that! no need to live in the past just say sorry and if he forgives you maybe you all can go out!
we all get lazy that's when we need to check our goals ! if our goals are not in place what focus would one have on life

some great sites
thinktq.com - a crazy site that will help you adjust your life and goals and life mission!
joesgoals.com - a number system that helps you strive for your goals
43things.com - forum based site that you get to help you stay on track
coping.org <-soul searching and questions to help you deal with life and it's stressorys
bestyearyet.com <-- some free thing in there is helpfull with goals