I have a friend who is always trying to compete or "one up" me. Meaning if I say I have $10, she has $20 & so on. She always has to have something a step above, or to have experienced the same thing I have (but worse), for ie: I cut my finger, well she cut her arm off...like that. How do you cope with friends like that. And it's not as easy as to not be friends with her...I work with her, our kids are best friends. I'm mentally exausted playing these "one upper" games, I don't want to play anymore. How do I tell her that?
2007-02-13 04:27:47 · 9 answers · asked by Sassafrass AKA: SASSY 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I think we stay friends with people like this because we are used to them. We don't see other alternatives at the time and we don't want to be alone and friendless. This person has a history with you so it's hard to let go. Plus, it would cause you more problems if you were'nt friends; it sucks to have animosity with ex-friends. But you are tired of these games and want it to stop! How about next time she compares herself to you, you lightheartedly joke "You know, this is not a competition. No one is going to get a medal." If she gets insulted, tell her you need to talk, then tell her you don't like when she does this, for example time a, b, and c. and ask her to please stop. If she gets offended (she probably will...these types are attention-seekers), you may need to take a break and let her come to you. In my experience, this type feels undervalued for some reason and has a need to always put the spotlight on them. Let her know when you do appreciate her and maybe she won't compete so much. Or you could just ignore her comments and keep talking about yourself when she interrupts to "one up you." You could say "as I was saying, it really hurt when I cut my finger...I need you to listen to me, I need someone to talk to about this" or whatever. I hope it works out. Good luck!
2007-02-13 04:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Believe it or not, horses know about you the minute you are around them. They can sense you and know what your feeling. Horses will even sometimes have an effect where they will be exactly like the people who are around them, such as if a person is lazy, all the horse will do is reflect what they do to you and show you what is going on. I learned at a young age about that from my horse instructor. I don't know what I would do without horses in my life. They bring out the best in people. Horses are definitely a gift that is worth the time to experiment with about your feelings. People can tell you all they want with their words, but you have the choice to listen to them or not. Horses on the other hand talk to us with their movement. They get to us a way that poeple can't. Hope this helped. Never give up horses.
2016-05-24 05:35:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it started somewhere and it festered, meaning one of you started the competition then it kept growing to the point of a minor obsession on the side.
if you dont wish to play anymore and she is your friend, then ask her how did this matter become like this.
if it so bothers you dearly, express that too.
note: co-workers could have remained as associates, meaning friendship during work-time and not during your off-time.
2007-02-13 04:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just laugh it off. It's not worth the energy of getting irritated over it, is it? Find someone else to hang out with instead. You don't have to sever the friendship, just don't invest as much time as you have been.
2007-02-13 04:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stop being her friend. When you choose to remain friends with people like this, it says more about you than it does them.
2007-02-13 04:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't stay friends with people like that. People like that only lead to trouble.
2007-02-13 04:33:43 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obviously has to be the center of attention, and will not let you be... Find a friend that doesn't need to be and compliments you as much as you do her/him whatever...
2007-02-13 04:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by momof3 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
yes , don't play anymore ..
take it as a kind of kidding everytime she tries to make it as a competition !!
2007-02-13 04:53:48 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you have to tell her. Just STOP playing the stupid game.
2007-02-13 04:34:47 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋