I have been dating my boyfriend now for about 5 months and the first 3 months were great. Actually they were out of this world. I could see my future with him stretching into the distant. This has been my 1st non dramatic relationship and the infatuation stage has just ended. My last ex was a real "winner" NOT. He was a loser, lost his job as a police officer, abused me, got caught for DUI. A whole pile of crap. All in all I dated him for about a year and I know I was in love with him at the beginning but had to get myself out of his mess and move on with my life. I took a year for myself and just dated here and there, nothing serious. Then I met my now boyfriend and we clicked but I feel like I loved my ex more than I love my current boyfriend for some reason. I feel like something is missing in our relationship and I want to spend my life with him cause he is such a nice guy BUT I want my feelings to get stronger cause I dont want to love my ex more....
Can we make it work?
2007-02-13 04:26:00 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No. You're like most people in that you want love and lust and it's hard to find both in your significant other. If this guy doesn't light your fire, you'll be constantly trying to lie to him about it. Or worse, cheating on him. Just be honest and tell him and yourself that it's not worth it. People say you can make it work, but it never does. Why bother if it's this much trouble from the start. it will probably get worse after the "honeymoon" phase of your relationship is over. Just being a realist!
2007-02-13 04:42:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For some reason you are still having feelings for your ex inspite of him treating you like crap. You may want to consider going to counseling for yourself, to explore why this may be. And in having feelings for the ex, I think it is holding you back, maybe you are afraid to be hurt again? And do not worry, it is perfectly normal. Just take your time with your boyfriend. There are no rules in love and nowhere does it say that you have to instantaneously love him. Some things just take time. Take your time, get to know him and it may surprise you how in time your ex will be only a mistake to be learned on and your feelings for your current more than what they are now. After all, not even the earth was made in one day...
2007-02-13 04:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by onecrazypeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like some stuff I went through. Leave the past where it is.All you are missing is the emotional highs from the abuse and are being unsure of yourself and relationship because the old bf is still in your head. New bf deserves a fair chance and so do you.
I walked away and right down the alsie with the new in 18 months, of course we have our ups and downs but mostly ups. We have become best friends.
2007-02-13 04:46:38 · answer #3 · answered by maduckford 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls like bad boys who they can't control, and who treat them badly.
If you are grown up, then you should be past that stage and wanting to find something more secure and stable.
if there is a lack of spark, get creative, do something to peak his interest, be mysterious, have a little fun , meet him for a date in a real sexy get up.
Invite him over for a meal you cook and have him dress up as well as you.
Send him anonymous notes as to where to meet you what you will do when he gets there and have fun, play a little.
All nice guys have that other adventurous side as well and are just waiting for someone to come along and pull it out of them.... he will probably really surprise you...
They don't have to be bad to be fun and sexy.....
Stop comparing and get busy.....
2007-02-13 04:46:28 · answer #4 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get over your first love and move on. No you don't love your current so do not have kids or go in debt with this one.
2007-02-13 04:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋